If you’re interested in self-development but have low self-esteem, the first thing you need to do is change that. Until you do, it’s much harder to assess what you need to learn and change to achieve your goals. In fact, if you have low self-esteem it can be difficult to even see what your goals are.
Imagine yourself as a dart board. At times anything and anyone can become a damaging dart pin at one point or another.
These dart pins will destroy your self-esteem and pull you down in ways you may not even be conscious of. It’s important not to let them destroy you, or get the best of you.
So what are the dart pins to avoid, and how can you keep them from hurting you?
Dart Pin #1 Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive.
No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. You may find you are working harder and harder for less and less return.
Stay away from this since it can ruin your self-esteem. Find ways to manage your work within the normal working day at least 90% of the time.
If you have to compete with others, compete on your own terms. Don’t fall into power games or negative behavior that could hurt your self-image.
Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, the walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers … all these negative behaviors in others can damage your self-esteem.
And, they’ll push back your self-development program. But remember, it’s not the person who is the problem: it’s their behavior.
Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
Changes challenge our paradigms. They test our flexibility, adaptability, and they alter our thought process.
Changes will make life difficult for a while and often cause stress. But when we look back we’ll see that change is often the catalyst or cause of self-development. Decide not to resist it.
Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when you experience pain. But don’t let past hurts turn pain into fear.
Dragging the issues of your past relationship into your new one is a road to failure. Don’t expect your partner to be a mirror image of your last partner.
Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson, and move on.
Dart Pin #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self-esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.
Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
Your behavior is said to be the result of a mixture. The ingredients include your inherited traits and your upbringing.
Other factors include your environment, such as friends, work situation, and the economy. You can even throw in the climate in your country.
Know that your genetics or upbringing don’t determine your life path. Failures among your family members don’t rub off.
Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.
In life, it can be hard to stay true to your code. Especially when things and people around you seem to keep pulling you down.
Yet, building self-esteem will lead to self-development if you become responsible. Be responsible for who you are, what you have, and what you do.
When we develop self-esteem, we take control of our mission, values, and discipline. Self- esteem brings about self-improvement, true assessment, and determination.
So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self-esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment.
A positive way of living will help you build self-esteem and set you on the path to positive self-development.
JohnK 1/24/2018
Overheard: “Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your handbrake on.” ~ Maxwell Maltz
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