Tag Archive for self esteem

The Words of The Dying- And Their Meaning: Next CHI FOR YOURSELF

picture of john kobik talking wordsThe end of your life. Something you may not like to think about, but something you’ll eventually face. On the next CHI FOR YOURSELF you’ll hear about the words people say in those final days. Words that don’t make sense to us, but somehow have meaning to the dying.

Our guest decodes the symbolism of those last words. Lisa Smartt will tell us how the language of the dying points the way to a transcendent world beyond our own.

Lisa Smartt is the author of Words at the Threshold: What We Say as We’re Nearing Death.

picture of Lisa Smartt words at death

Hear the “words” from Lisa Smartt  at 4 pm Eastern Time, 1 pm Pacific Time on Thursday May 18th, at chiforyourself.com.


JohnK 5-17-2017

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We’re Talking Ayahyasca- Today on CHI FOR YOURSELF


A quick reminder: Our guest on today’s CHI FOR YOURSELF is Dr. Rachel Harris, author of Listening to Ayahuasca: New Hope for Depression, Addiction, PTSD, and Anxiety.

Rachel Harris talks ayahuasca

Rachel Harris PhD


We’ll start the interview at 5 pm Eastern time, 2 pm Pacific at chiforyourself.com. We’ll look for you then!

Next CHI FOR YOURSELF: High Marks For Ayahuasca

picture of john kobik talking ayahuascaOn our next CHI FOR YOURSELF we visit the world of Ayahuasca. What’s that you ask? Ayahuasca is a psychedelic brew from the Amazon rainforest. It’s considered a medicine and it has great therapeutic potential that’s just beginning to be studied.

Our guest will be Dr. Rachel Harris. Rachel was inspired to research how this medicine was being used in North America. She’ll talk about her findings, including miracle cures of depression and addiction, therapeutic breakthroughs, spiritual revelations, and challenging or bad trips- including her own!

Dr.Rachel Harris is the author of Listening to Ayahuasca: New Hope for Depression, Addiction, PTSD, and Anxiety

Rachel Harris talks ayahuasca

Rachel Harris PhD

Be here when we fire up the interview this Thursday May 11th and 5 pm Eastern time, 2 pm Pacific at chiforyourself.com


JohnK 5-8-2017

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Self-Esteem Basics or: Your Life As a Dartboard

picture of john kobik talking self esteemWe want to make positive strides in our lives. But sometimes things seem to hold us back- like low self-esteem. It might be time to take a look at how we feel about ourselves. 

This article invites you to look at your everyday life in an unusual way. I think you’ll find it a good way to examine your self-esteem and stay on a sound footing toward genuine living. 


Build Self-Esteem: The First Step Toward Self Development

If you are interested in self-development but have low self-esteem, you’ll want to put your attention on that. Until you do, it will be much harder to accurately assess what you need to learn and change in order to achieve your goals. In fact, if you have low self-esteem it can be difficult to even see what your goals are.

Imagine yourself as a dart board. Everything and everyone else around you have the potential to become a damaging dart pin, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self-esteem and pull you down in ways you may not even be conscious of. It’s important not to let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So what are the dart pins to avoid, and how can you keep them from hurting you?

Dart Pin #1: Negative Work Environment

Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. You may find you are working harder and harder for less and less return.

Stay away from this, it will damage your self-esteem. Find ways to manage your work within the majority of the normal working day. If you have to compete with others, compete on your own terms. Don’t be drawn into power games or negative behavior that will bring on negative feelings about yourself.

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior

Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, the walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers … all these negative behaviors in others will damage your self-esteem, as well as to your self-development program. But remember, it is not the person that is the problem: it is their behavior.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment

You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. They test your flexibility, adaptability and alter the way you think. Changes will make life difficult for a while and often cause stress, but when you look back you’ll see that change is often the catalyst or cause of self -development. Try not to resist it.

Dart Pin #4: Past Experience

It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when you experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear by constantly thinking of the bad things that have happened to you or others in the past. It’s easy to wreck a relationship by bringing with you the issues you had in your last relationship and expecting your new partner to be like your previous one. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson, and move on.

Dart Pin #5: Negative World View

Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self-esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory

The way you are and your behavioral traits are said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits, your upbringing, and your current environment such as your friends, your work situation, the economy and even the climate of the country that you live in.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that your genetics or upbringing will determine how your life goes. You have your own identity. If your father feels like a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

In life, it can be tough to stay firm, especially when things and people around you seem to keep pulling you down. However, building self-esteem will eventually lead to self-development if you start to become responsible for who you are, what you have and what you do.

When you develop self-esteem, you take control of your mission, values, and discipline. Self-esteem brings about self-improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self-esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self-esteem and set you on the path to positive self-development.


JohnK 5-1-2017

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Get The Upper Hand: 7 Tips For Managing Stress

picture of john kobik talking stressGenuLines has been quiet of late. And there’s a reason. Several in fact. I was called away from the keyboard to take care of some important family business.

As I write this I’m still on the East Coast of the U.S. dealing with things like elder care, finances, and even leaking water pipes!

Things are quieting down now but I got to thinking. Stress often comes in bunches, and if you deal with it in unhealthy ways it can turn your life upside down. 

So here are some points to remember to keep stressful situations manageable and to get you back to your “happy place” ASAP!



man feeling stressTricky thing about stress. It sets off a vicious cycle where each incident causes more stress that makes you more prone to make mistakes. So, more things go wrong. It can make you feel you are losing control of your life and even your mind. But don’t lose hope because there is a way out.

In fact, there are many solutions to the problem of stress in our lives. Here are 7 tips to help you find your way out of the vicious cycle.

1. Recognize that stress has a place in your life

Make stress your friend! Stress has a genuine biological function that can be used to good effect. Based on the body’s natural “fight or flight” response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance if focused at the right moment. I’ve yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most.

2. Avoid catching the stress ‘virus’

Stress can be infectious. A stressed person tends to make life difficult for others in various ways, so those people become stressed too. To protect yourself, either give them space and keep away or practice relaxation techniques to ward off the infection. You may even be able to help them to relax – but the way to do that is to stay relaxed when you are around them, not add to their problems by handing out advice.

3. Learn from the best

If you are not yet able to be the person who keeps calm when everyone else is losing their head, then look for that person and learn from him or her. What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced? Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat. Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.

4. Use your breathing

You can trick your body into relaxing by using deep and slow breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.

5. Give stressy thoughts the red light

It is possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot all by yourself. “If this happens, then that might happen and then that might happen and then there’s no hope for any of us!” Most of these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly? Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop them in their tracks.

Instead of indulging your imagination by figuring out all the worst-case scenarios, take the attitude that for every problem, there is a solution. Okay so that first thing on your list might go wrong – but how likely is that, and what can you do to prevent it?

6. Know your trigger points and hot spots

Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines, background noise, travel, criticism from others … there are many causes of stress and they are not the same for everybody.

Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one type of project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee?

Knowing what causes you stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to decaf?

7. Burn the candle at one end only

Lack of sleep, poor diet, and minimal exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it’s often ignored as a stress management technique. Listen to your mother and don’t burn the candle at both ends! Make sure you get plenty of rest … and if you find you lie awake worrying, learn to switch your thought patterns with relaxation techniques.


JohnK 4-24-2017

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Tips To Help You Start (or maintain) A Healthy Relationship

picture of john kobik talking relationshipsSpring is a time that tends to be associated with relationships. (Love is in the air, etc) And maybe it’s time for you to think about your relationship. Naturally, CHI FOR YOURSELF doesn’t look at relationships in the usual, greeting card kind of way.


Bringing a special person into your life (or keeping someone in your life) involves mindfulness. 

There are some simple but important points to keep your attention on when a relationship is on your mind. So CHI FOR YOURSELF has put together a brief report on relationships. It’s free and you can get it by clicking on this FREE STUFF link. 


Free Stuff

And watch for more helpful offerings from ChiForYourself.com! 

Problems with FREE STUFF button? Copy & paste link– https://www.payhip.com/b/jsmb


JohnK 4-11-2017



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Your Relationship and Your SELF: And We Welcome Tatiana Jerome

picture of john kobik talking relationshipsYou may have noticed that our latest CHI FOR YOURSELF episode and recent GenuLines blog posts have been stressing relationships. Particular emphasis has been put on nurturing the “self.” 

CHI FOR YOURSELF wants you to have a special report on bringing love into your life. You can find the first chapter if you scroll down this page. You’ll get free access to the rest of the report in a coming GenuLines blog post. 

As for our latest episode of CHI FOR YOURSELF with Tatiana Jerome, you can hear it by clicking on the player–




picture of relationship author Tatiana Jerome

Tatiana Jerome

Tatiana Jerome is the author of LOVE LOSE, LOVE FOUND: A Woman’s Guide to Letting Go of the Past and Finding New Love.




Here’s a look at some of the takeaway points from the program:

  • Tatiana thought her relationship was fine
  • Knowing when it’s time to go
  • The relationship with your “self”
  • Actions are less important that patterns
  • Looking for love online
  • Attract rather than pursue



Chapter 1: 
Basics of Attracting Love
LoversSilhouette and relationships
For most people having a relationship that contains both respect for the other’s feelings and the ability to freely express affection would be important concerns.  
But with so many external pressures it’s often very hard to focus on creating the ideal relationship based on these two vital aspects.  
Making the intention to include this respect as part of your lives will give you the opportunity to maintain your relationship as one of meaning and purpose.  
 – # – 
The Basics 
Understand that making a conscious effort to create a healthy partnership is a good starting point. This helps each person involved to do their best to ensure the relationship has the potential for strength and longevity.  
This may at times leave you feeling that you’re going “the extra mile” for your partner. Consider it a good opportunity to sharpen your giving skills. 
Attracting love may require some initial physical and spiritual contributions on your part. The reassurance of compassion or empathy or a well-timed touch (tasteful, of course!) can go a long way toward tilling the soil of a fertile relationship.  
JohnK 4-3-2017
Clipart image of overheard man and relationshipsOverheard: “No road is long with good company.”
                      ~Turkish Proverb



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Be YOUR Valentine: Self-Love Before Hearts and Flowers!

Allow me some thoughts on Valentine’s Day..

Valentine's Day HeartValentine’s Day is a day meant for Love. But, it’s not a day limited to romantic love as many would tell you. It is also about self-love. It is about knowing who you are. It is about knowing that, who you are is someone worthy of love, kindness and compassion.

If you are experiencing low self-worth and low self-esteem, know that there are many others like you out there. You are not alone. Realize that you feel this way because you do not yet love yourself truly and deeply for who you are in this moment. Sure, you can always become better, but you must be kind and compassionate to who you are today, so that you may journey toward a more fulfilling life with your own support. Certainly, spread your love and care to others but don’t forget that you too need that kindness that you wish to share with others and for that you must share it with yourself as well. If others share it with you, accept it. If they don’t, not to worry. Share it with yourself and by doing that you’ll radiate it toward others. You’ll find strength if you believe in yourself no matter how hard your day, week or month has been because you can be. You always have the capacity to be loved because it starts with loving yourself and you can love yourself just as you are, because you are worth loving.

dividing line

I send you all the best energies for a very Happy Valentine’s Day! As I mentioned on the call with Karen Koenig I’m working on an upcoming show that would take a look at relationships that are not working so well, and why that’s so. I’ll keep you posted as to when a booking date is finalized.

Speaking of Karen Koenig, she gave us a great interview and look at her book : OUTSMARTING OVEREATING: Boost Your Life Skills, End Your Food Problems.

picture of Karen Koenig

Karen Koenig

If you didn’t hear the show you can catch it and other episodes you may have missed by clicking on this player.

..be well!


listener animationOverheard..

“Well-ordered self-love is right and natural”

˜ Thomas Aquinas


JohnK 2-13-2015

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