Tag Archive for making changes

Boost Your Confidence by Making Better Decisions

You’re starting another week. Another week of decisions you’ll need to make. But somehow those decisions don’t get made.
It’s one of the more frustrating situations you (and those around you) can face. You can’t seem to make a decision and stick to it.
signpost toward decision
There can be many reasons why you lack the confidence to make decisions in your life.
As a child your parents may have made all your decisions for you. And you weren’t supposed to question them..
Or it could be that you don’t like the pressure decision making puts on you. You question whether you’re making the right decision. And you’re fearful about how your decision will affect others.
You may feel very anxious at the thought of having to make a decision.
Here are a few ways to recognize if you’re someone who lacks the confidence to make  decisions:
You would rather have someone else make the decision for you –
Passing the decision-making process to another could show a lack of confidence.
You never make a decision –
Other people may be relying on you for a decision, but you let weeks or months slide by without deciding.
When you do make a decision, you second-guess yourself –
This is another demonstration of lack of confidence in your abilities.
Regardless of what led to an inability to trust yourself you can become better if you work at it.
Here are some ideas for improving your confidence and making good decisions.
Make an “unofficial” decision –
This is a decision that’s not yet set in stone. Make a decision, and live with that decision for a day.
For example, you’ve decided to upgrade to a bigger house, and you have the money saved up. You find a house that you really like that fits all the criteria you want in a bigger house.
It has a big yard, a deck, and an attached garage. But, you have trouble making decisions.
You may find that you try to talk yourself out of it. You begin to worry how you’ll afford it, the increased heating and cooling costs, and so forth.
This is where it can help to make an “unofficial” decision. You have to decide that you will or will not move.
Pick one, and live with that decision for a day. Convince yourself that the decision is a real one.
Then see how your decision makes you feel. This can be a good way to test decisions before making them official.
Knowing that you can still change your mind, if it doesn’t feel right, can be comforting.
Recognize decisions that are reversible –
For example, you’re having a tough time choosing a color of house paint. Start by picking some swatches. Then make a decision rather than fretting over the perfect color.
If you start painting and don’t like the color you can just reverse course and choose another color.
Ask yourself: what is the worst that can happen? –
Not all decisions are life altering. If you begin by making small decisions (like choosing which movie to go to) your confidence can grow as time goes on. You’ll be better positioned to make bigger decisions as time passes.
Write down the pros and cons of each decision you are considering –
It might help if you put your ideas on paper. List what you like and don’t like about them.
Seeing rather than only thinking about the options can make it easier to come to a decision.
man making decisionOverheard:  “To change a habit, make a conscious decision, then act out the new behavior.”

                       ~Maxwell Maltz

Put The Brakes on Complaining

Young man complainingAnother Monday morning, and it’s a great time for complaining. Gotta wake up so early. Traffic is always a mess. This job is the worst.
You may not have a lot of options for improving your situation right now. But, you can change how you look at it
This is especially true if you’re a complainer. Let’s look at some ways to ratchet down the tendency to complain.
How To Avoid Complaining
Remember the phrase from the poem Solitude, by Ella Wheeler Wilcox? The line is, “Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone”.
The same can be said for complaining. If you’re a chronic complainer, you may want to rethink that tendency.
One problem with complaining is that too much of it becomes less effective over time. Are you really unhappy with every situation you’re presented with?
It could be a sign that you have other negative situations going on in your life. You need to choose your battles, as they say.
Let’s say you have several situations that make you unhappy. Pick the one you most want to focus on for improvement.
It will be easier to get your point across if you limit the frequency of your complaints.
There’s a right time to complain. But it should be done in the context of offering up alternatives.
Be part of the solution and not part of the problem. If you only offer a complaint, how is that helping solve the problem?
Offering solutions will show your willingness to have a stake in solving the problem.
A good approach is to come up with more than one solution whenever possible. This will help get more people to see your side of the story.
If you’re someone who complains a lot, take a step back. Think about others who are chronic complainers as well.
How did you react to their constant stream of complaints? Did you think to yourself that the person should try to help solve the problem?
If you answered yes to this last question, this is how others are thinking when you complain.
Complainers often feel like no one’s listening to them, usually with good reason. And the increased frustration could lead to their alienation from the group.
This is not a good situation. Management could be more likely to let the complainers go. Or the complainers might take it upon themselves to leave.
Complaining is considered negative thinking, but it’s a changeable habit.
Begin that change by shifting from negative to positive thoughts.
Your peers will likely find fewer faults with you. And they won’t go out of their way to avoid you if you maintain a positive attitude.
If you find that you complain a lot and people are avoiding you it may be time for some changes.
JohnK 3-26-2018
Image for overheard for changeOverheard:  “When you change the way you look at things, the things     
you look at change.”        

                            ~ Max Planck


“Big Love” On The Next CHI FOR YOURSELF

What happens when you fully commit yourself to love? Our guest on the next CHI FOR YOURSELF says the result is endless good.

Scott Stabile found that out by overcoming plenty of bad, including the murder of his parents. 

Scott’s intention is to show us that growth and healing are possible, regardless of the circumstances.

Be with us for Scott Stabile on CHI FOR YOURSELF. Thursday, December 14th at 4:30 Eastern, 1:30 Pacific time at chiforyourself.com.

Scott Stabile talks love

Scott Stabile is the author of Big Love: The Power of Living with a Wide-Open Heart


JohnK 12-11-2017

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Breakup Rehab: This Week on CHI FOR YOURSELF


How do you regain confidence and optimism about love following a breakup?

After her own relationship ended, Rebekah Freedom McClaskey developed and practiced a series of small, step-by-step actions that ultimately helped her heal her heart and live in harmony with her destiny.

Hear author and counselor Rebekah Freedom McClaskey on our next CHI FOR YOURSELF. Thursday, October 12th at 1 pm Pacific time, 4 pm on the East Coast at chiforyourself.com

Rebekah McCluskey on breakups


Rebekah Freedom McClaskey is the author of Breakup Rehab: Creating the Love You Want.


JohnK 10-9-2017

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Put Your Savings On Autopilot And See What Happens!

This final installment from CHI FOR YOURSELF on money matters focuses on savings. Specifically on a “set it and forget it” approach to your money. 
Putting a little money away for a rainy day isn’t always easy. You may have some good intentions, but at the end of the day, there’s little to go toward savings. Somehow whatever you make is spent before you make it to the next paycheck.
no savings picture
Start by making a personal budget. Take a look at what you bring in each month. Next, write down your fixed expenses. These are things like rent, car payments, and utilities. Figure out how much you need each month for groceries and other essentials. This is your bare bones budget. It’s good to know what you need to get by each month.
Next, it’s time for a little bit of math. Start with what you bring in each month and subtract all your core expenses.
What you’re left with is your discretionary income. This will pay for entertainment, clothes, getting your nails done and such. From this point on, part of that discretionary income will go into a savings account.
Pick a number you’re comfortable with. It could be a mere $20 per month. Or it could be $500. Put this in your budget and treat it like any other bill. It won’t take you long to get into the habit of setting aside that money for savings.
To make it even more hands-off, talk to your bank about setting up a separate savings account. Then set up an auto-deposit.
This will have the savings transferred to the new account as soon as your paycheck comes in each month. If you don’t see it, you’ll never miss it and your savings will run on autopilot.
Don’t forget to audit your savings from time to time. Take another look at your budget. Can you increase your savings a little more?
A great way to boost that savings account is to set aside any extra money – such as birthday cash, tax refunds, bonuses. Put them straight into the savings account. Again, you won’t miss the money, but you’ll see quick results as you build up your savings.
Make sure your savings are sitting in an interest-bearing account. Since you won’t be touching this money unless it’s a dire emergency, you should be able to earn at least a little interest. Talk to your banker about your best options and start putting your savings on autopilot.
savings account
One last tip: Ask your employer about matching 401-K funds. You may be able to get a contribution from the company. This is like “free money” toward your retirement savings account.
JohnK 10-2-2017

Why It’s Good To Keep A Household Budget

budget dollars

You work hard to earn a living. So it’s best to make wise decisions when you spend that money. That’s where a household budget comes in.

A budget has obvious advantages. Like seeing at a glance what we have coming in, what’s going out (and what that money is paying for). You also get an idea if there’s anything left at the end of the month to put into savings.


Before we dive into exactly what a budget can do for us, let’s consider a few points. What will happen if we’re not tracking income and expenses?

You may end up spending more than you’re making in a given month (or two, or three). Over time that can put you into some pretty hot financial water. You may also spend a lot more than you’d like to believe on things like eating out, going to the movies or new clothes.

Having a budget gives you more control over your true spending wishes. That could be dinner and a movie, or not. Wouldn’t it be nice to have an actual choice?

A Budget Tracks Where Your Money Is Going

A budget’s only job is to track your money. You record where the money comes from each month (your income) and then write out everything you spend it on.

Start with your regular monthly bills. These include your mortgage or rent, utility bills etc.

What’s left is your discretionary income.

A Budget Helps You Spot Wasted Money

Having it all in front of you in black and white helps you identify things you’re wasting your money on.

Budgeting forces you to reconsider if you want to spend well over $200 a month on Cable TV. Or $150 on your large cell phone plan. Or how about that yearly magazine subscription to something you no longer read? Go through your expenses and reevaluate if this is REALLY how you want to spend your paycheck.

A Budget Allows You To Be Proactive About Savings

Saving money without a budget is hard. We go in with the best of intentions at the beginning of the month. But somehow there isn’t anything left at the end of the month.

A budget gives you a chance to be a bit more proactive. Set aside some money for savings at the beginning of the month, even a small amount like $20.

Put it in the budget as a regular expense, much like you do with your other urgent bills. If you need to, open a separate savings account so you’re not tempted to spend it.

A Budget Ensures You’re Not Spending More Than You’re Making

Your budget will keep you on track and help you avoid overspending. And I don’t have to tell you that that’s pretty important for your financial well-being.

JohnK 9-25-2017
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Image for overheard for budgetOverheard: ““While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.” 
                                        ~ Groucho Marx



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Do You Have A Financial Safety Net? (And How To Build One)

Do you have a financial safety net? It’s something worth thinking about and setting up. What will happen to you and your loved ones if you lose your job for a few months?
What if you get into an accident that prevents you from earning a living? Or what if some unexpected expenses come up. Do you have anything in place to make sure the bills continue to get paid?
If not, now is the time to get started. But where do you actually start?
financial help ideas
Three to six months’ worth of living expenses saved in an interest-bearing account is a good start. Figure out what your family needs to live on if all income stops. Then start saving as much money as you can until you have built up this safety net.
Trim expenses for eating out, going to the movies, buying the newest TV and Tech gadget and the like. Add these to your savings account until you’ve saved enough to have a comfortable cushion. To make this step go even faster, add any bonuses, tax refunds etc. as well.
But don’t stop there. Make it a goal to add to your safety cushion as you can and come back and revise your numbers from time to time. Your living expenses may go up or down over time. You can adjust the amount you need and set aside savings in an account where you can get at it with no hassle.
Life and disability insurance are another important part of your financial safety net. Do you have a plan in place to continue to cover your living expenses (or those of your family) when you can no longer work? Call your insurance agent and go over your current coverage. Make sure the insurance you’re paying for will pay out what you need and if not, make adjustments.
Next, consider investing any further savings into higher interest-bearing accounts. You may not be able to access money invested here right away. But the funds will come in handy when you’re dealing with a long-term financial emergency or are ready to retire. Plenty of investment vehicles have a higher yield than your bank savings account.
Talk to your financial adviser, Work out a plan that’s right for you, your family, and whatever the future may hold.
JohnK 9-18-2017
Image for overheard for financial wisdomOverheard: “All money is a matter of belief.
           ~Adam Smith

How To Plan For Unexpected Expenses

It always seems to happen at the wrong time. The car’s transmission blows just as your daughter gets her braces. Or your washing machine decides to call it quits.
These unexpected expenses will pop up throughout life. You want to prepare as well as possible for those times when life throws you a financial curve ball.
Do your best to plan ahead for upcoming expenses. If you’re driving an older car, or your dishwasher has seen its better days, start saving up to replace the item. You may also want to start keeping an eye out for good deals on the replacement.
budgeting expenses
An even better strategy is to have an emergency savings fund. Set up a savings account and add to it monthly. Use it only for completely unexpected expenses.
Make sure you know what’s in the account. And once you have to take money out of it replace it as soon as possible.
This brings us to an important point. How to make a quick recovery after taking a hit to your wallet.
Go over your budget (you have one of those, right?) and see if you can cut back on some things for the time being.
Stop ordering pizza every Friday night and make your own at home. Skip a night out on the town and watch a couple of movies on Netflix instead of going to the theater.
Use the money you’re not spending over the next few months to refill your emergency fund. For an extra boost, you might work a few hours of overtime. Or do a few freelance projects. You might pick up a short-term part time job to get back on track fast.
dollar expenses
But what do you do when the expense comes up before you had a chance to set up the emergency fund? Take a deep breath and assess the situation.
Can you make do without the item for a little while? At least long enough to scrape together the funds to repair or replace it?
If it’s the dishwasher, that’s easy. You can wash dishes by hand for a little while.
If it’s the fridge or the car you rely on to get you to work each day, that’s a different story.
If it’s your car decide if it would be better to repair than replace. Even if it isn’t the perfect solution, it may get you to work while you save up for the car you want.
Shuffle your money around and if there is no other option charge it to the credit card and get to work. Your one and only goal right now is to pay off that expense.
Sock away every available penny. Once you pay off your credit cards do what you can to get that emergency fund set up.
And be ready for any surprises down the road.
JohnK 9-12-2017

Chakra Wisdom with Tori Hartman: Today’s CHI FOR YOURSELF


Tori picture for chakra readsQuick reminder- Our guest on today’s CHI FOR YOURSELF is Tori Hartman, author of CHAKRA WISDOM ORACLE: How to Read the Cards for Yourself and Others. 

We’ll begin at 1 pm Pacific, 4 pm Eastern time at chiforyourself.com



“See” you then.

JohnK 9-7-2017

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Chakras And Transformation- It’s in The Cards: Next CHI FOR YOURSELF


Tori picture for chakra readsOur next scheduled CHI FOR YOURSELF guest will tell us about using intuitive power to bring profound growth into our lives. Tori Hartman is the author of Chakra Wisdom Oracle: How to Read the Cards for Yourself and Others. Her system of cards and workbook is designed to help you break through blockages and achieve your dreams. 


Join us for CHI FOR YOURSELF and Tori Hartman. Thursday, September 7th at 4 pm Eastern, 1 pm Pacific time at chiforyourself.com.


JohnK 9-4-2017

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