making changes

Tag Archive for making changes

Trust Yourself If You Want a Better Romantic Relationship

September 2, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

Trust is a word that makes us feel good, especially n a relationship.

GenuLines turns the idea inward for a look at relationships and self-trust.

Trust Yourself If You Want a Better Romantic Relationship

One of the keys to a stable romantic relationship is self-trust.

Without it your partner can lose confidence in you over time. You’ll have problems making decisions.

And there may be a few sexual problems, too.

Romantic relationships have a foundation of trust. You may have it for your partner but not yourself.

Let’s say you put yourself down in front of your partner. They may go along with you in the beginning, but that behavior will get old over time.

Contrast this behavior with trusting yourself.

You’ll be more confident. And your partner will pick up on this.

You’ll have both your emotional and physical needs met. That’s sure to spice up your relationship.

Sharing

If you don’t trust yourself, it’s not likely you’ll share your feelings with your partner. Communication is another relationship building block.

Without it you could by headed for a break-up.

Trust issues can affect your attitude. You’ll send out negative energy toward those around you, including your partner.

Would you want to hang around someone who’s negative?

It’s very likely you won’t. Over time, you’ll look for ways to avoid that person.

Make sure that person isn’t you.

Sharing negative feelings with your partner is different from being negative. It’s pretty much impossible to be positive 100% of the time.

Aim for striking a balance and working towards being more positive than negative. That can’t happen if you doubt yourself.

A bit of effort and a healthy dose of self-trust gives your relationship a better chance to work.

Your partner will be happier and so will you. You have a choice.

Stay closed and lack trust in yourself. Or open up and gain the confidence to have the best possible relationship.

JohnK 9-3-2019

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Overheard: “Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are”

~Chinese proverb

Appreciate the Small Things And Find Contentment

July 16, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

You’re intent on finding happiness, but what about contentment? You hear about appreciating the small stuff and feeling happy.

Today GenuLines asks you to turn your aim from happiness to contentment.

Appreciate the Small Things And Find Contentment

Most emotions are transitional, meaning you’re never in one state for long periods. People labeled upbeat actually do have moments of sadness or depression.

And even depressed people may not feel depressed all the time.

Think about a major event such as a war. When two countries are fighting, both sides lose lives.

It’s bloody, and it can last for several years. But, when the war is over, the countries are euphoric.

There will be no more bloodshed because of the war, and people can return to their lives.

But nothing that has changed in the world except that the war has ended. In other words, the sun still sets each day.

People still have to manage their lives.

The euphoria from the war ending doesn’t last long. Months later, the war is still over, but the euphoria has died down.

The same is true in a smaller way when you’re ill. For instance, suppose you have a stomach bug that leaves you uncomfortable and in pain.

When the bug passes you feel wonderful.

Yet, you don’t feel any better than you did when you weren’t experiencing the bug. It’s relative to the bad feelings.

That’s how emotional states work. They go from one to the other on a constant basis.

Appreciating the small things in life may lead to happiness. But, it’s likely you’re content more than you are happy.

Contentment can feel like a neutral state, leaning on the side of happy. There isn’t anything wrong when you’re content.

But, there’s also nothing ratcheting up your happiness.

Consider contentment before happiness

Striving for happiness can be stressful. The antidote? Gratitude. You’ll feel content without having to always push toward happiness.

Time spent in contentment means you’re doing something right.

Think about the people you love. And think about all you have, such as your health and a good job.

Imagine life without them and you’ll really appreciate contentment. That thought may even make you happy, if only for a short time.

JohnK 7-16-2019

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Overheard: “A harvest of peace is produced from a seed of contentment”

~Proverb

Helping Others Deal with Adversity

April 30, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

At some point in your life, you’re going to experience adversity. It teaches you that you have the strength to overcome most anything that comes your way.

Sometimes, others you know may need help when dealing with their adverse situations. GenuLines reminds you that your experience of self-help puts you in a good position to offer them help.

Helping Others Deal with Adversity

The people you’re trying to help may need to open up about their situation. If they’re denying that it’s occurring, it’s going to be difficult to help them.

They won’t accept your offers of help because they don’t believe anything is wrong. Or worse, they’ll get angry with you for even suggesting something is wrong.

A helpful approach

There’s a way to help them realize they have a problem. Ask them how they would handle a similar situation if they needed to help someone else.

This gets them to focus on an outside entity, even if fictitious. This lets them start the process of identifying the problem.

It doesn’t guarantee that they’ll come around. But it can get the process started.

Helping people to recognize the problem helps them take action.

You may want to search for help online. Research before they do so that you can help them when they get to that point of doing the research themselves.

It’s not a bad idea to learn more about the situation. You’ll be better able to help them.

Your adversity experience

If you’ve dealt with the specific situation before, that will speed the process. The person you’re helping can ask questions about your experiences and what you did to cope or get through it.

You will likely have a list of resources prepared from your experiences. You can volunteer to go with them to any support groups or meetings.

But once they get started they may be able to do it alone.

Helping others deal with adversity is not an easy task. You should expect to get resistance, especially in the beginning.

But, if you can get them to see the problem, they may be ready to take action towards the recovery process. It can be rewarding to know that you helped people start on their road to recovery.

JohnK 4-30-2019

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Overheard: “The bravest sight in the world is to see a great man struggling against adversity”

~Lucius Annaeus Seneca

How Much Exercise Do You Need Every Day To Lose Weight?

May 16, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments

Warmer weather seems to be more conducive to exercise. Maybe you’re looking to break a sweat and lose a few pounds in the process.

GenuLines always supports good health, and managing your weight is a big part of that.

Below are some things to keep in mind during your program. All the best!

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How Much Exercise Do You Need Every Day To Lose Weight?

Weight loss requires both a disciplined dietary approach and exercise. Other factors are important too. But, how much exercise do you need to do?

There’s no magic number of minutes, reps or hours needed to produce weight loss. Rather there are variables that you have to consider to reach the right numbers.

Here are some options to help you come up with an exercise time frame that works best for you.

Variable 1: Calories Consumed and Calorie Quality

The first principle of weight loss is that to lose weight you must reach a caloric deficit. This means burning more calories than you’re consuming.

So, to know the amount of exercise needed to lose weight, you need to know your daily caloric intake. Just as important are the sources of those calories.

For example, vegetables versus potato chips. If you function on a low-calorie diet you’ll need less exercise to lose weight.

You may be fine with a moderate 3-4 day a week training plan. If you eat large amounts of food you’ll need to up your exercise plan.

Variable 2: Exercise Type and Intensity

The second key variable is the type and intensity of exercise. 20 minutes on the elliptical has a far different energy output than 20 minutes of all-out sprinting.

This variable can also dovetail with our first variable. The greater the calorie consumption, the more energy for high-intensity exercise. Otherwise, you may not need to exercise for an especially long time or at a high intensity.

In general, aerobic-intensive exercise is different. It requires a longer time to see any sort of effective impact on weight loss.

Jogging, biking, the elliptical or other options eat up more time. This could consume hours over the course of a week before you see a meaningful impact.

Anaerobic activities will be more effective in a shorter amount of time. These include sprinting, resistance training or interval training methods.

But, their intensity level is much higher. So, you’ll need a certain level of fitness to get the full potential and results.

Variable 3: What is the Weight Loss Goal? How much time do we have to achieve it?

The third variable is arguably the most important. Think of your car ride or travel plans.

They’re determined by your destination. Your exercise plan and weight loss journey will be dictated by the goal we have set. If the goal is to lose 5 pounds in two months, that is a fairly modest and achievable goal for most.

If you’re a sedentary person you would only need to exercise 20-30 minutes a day for 3-4 days a week to achieve this goal.

Conversely, if your goal is to lose 30 pounds in two months, the equation is quite different. This would involve more hours every day at high intensity to achieve that same goal.

Putting it All Together: Finding the Right Number

We’ve examined the variables. Now we can consider how much exercise we need per day to lose weight.

Let’s say you have a low caloric intake, low-intensity aerobic exercise, and a modest goal.

You might be O.K. with 30-45 minutes of aerobic exercise a day. Not so if you love to eat, love to lift weights and also have an ambitious goal for weight loss.

You’re going to have to spend considerable time every day working out to reach those goals. Your best bet would be to assess your starting point as compared to your goal.

Look at how much time you have to reach that goal. Then make your plan to reach it.

This is a better bet than relying on a standard number or cookie-cutter approach.

JohnK 5-16-2018

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Overheard: ”Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

~ George Bernard Shaw

Breaking Up With Busy: This Week on CHI FOR YOURSELF

May 9, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments

Being busy has become a status symbol in society. Overworking and under-sleeping are two of the byproducts of this. But what does all the busyness accomplish?

Our scheduled guest on this week’s CHI FOR YOURSELF has written a book that shows you how to reclaim your time and get off the busyness hamster wheel.

Yvonne Tally is the author of Breaking Up with Busy: Real-Life Solutions for Overscheduled Women.

Be with us for the interview with Yvonne Tally on Thursday, May 10th, at 4 pm Eastern, 1 pm Pacific time at chiforyourself.com

JohnK 5-9-2018

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Feeling Hungry? Get A Plan!

May 2, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments

Picture this. You come home from work stressed, exhausted, and hungry. You decide that tonight might be a great night to order in.

Do you find yourself doing this two or three times a week because your life is so busy? The scenario isn’t meant to shame, Most of us have been there.

Life doesn’t stop because your day has been crazy busy.

The kids still need to eat. The laundry still needs to get done. And you still have a night of balancing your checkbook ahead of you.

Let’s be honest, who would have time to even think about cooking with a schedule like that? This is where the importance of planning comes in.

When you’re able to plan your meals ahead of time you won’t need to hit that drive-thru window. You’ll already have your dinner ready, all you need to do is heat it. With everything already in place, you can focus on other things while your food is cooking.

Taking one or two hours a week to plan your meals might seem like a hassle. But this can save you hours in the future.

Doing something once a week is a lot easier than doing it several times a week. One trip to the grocery store and one afternoon in the kitchen. This can produce an entire week of meals for your family.

But planning your meals is only the beginning. You can also plan your trip to the grocery store.

What was once a headache can be a breeze when you have a categorized list in front of you. Make an Excel spreadsheet and list your grocery categories in bold, (frozen, produce, meats, etc.).

Then put each item under the appropriate category and print it out. Now you have an easy-to-use, focused list that will keep you on track.

And, your printout can be a template for your future grocery lists.

JohnK 5-2-2018

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Overheard: “True healthcare reform starts in your kitchen, not in Washington”

~Anonymous

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Bringing Change To Your Life: Ya Gotta Want It!

April 25, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments

Bringing change to our lives is great conversation fodder. But, are we really doing what it takes to bring about change?

Today’s article will give you some ideas to kick-start the process of changing your life.

While we’re on the subject of change, I hope you had a chance to hear the CHI FOR YOURSELF interview with Julie Simon. Our topic was emotional eating. Getting an upper hand on that tendency can bring major change to your life.

You can listen to the show by clicking on below:

Some of the talking points from the interview:

Emotional eating defined
Julie Simon’s experience as an emotional eater
Re-wiring the brain for better eating
Weight loss as a New Year resolution
Emotional eating: women and men

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ARTICLE

People often say that they have at least one wish or desire to change something about their lives. Unfortunately, they often don’t move to change this.

They’ll say that their reason for not attaining their goal is lack of motivation. Then there are those who would say this is a lack of effort rather than a lack of motivation.

Let’s take a look at some reasons why people don’t put the effort into making a lifestyle change.

1. Lack of a reason

To make any type of change in your life you need to have a good reason to do so. Having a goal is wonderful but the reason you have to reach that goal fuels your decision.

Those reasons could include attracting more money for a move to a new location. or for funding more opportunities.

2. Setting too large a goal

Weight loss is a perfect example. If you want to lose 70 pounds don’t focus on this amount.

Instead, you can set smaller goals, say 7 pounds a month. That can help you stay on task.

If you meet this goal in less time that’s great. If you’re struggling, don’t give up. Refocus and set your next monthly goal at 5 pounds.

3. No vision

Having a vision of what you want is a great way to stay motivated. This is why it’s smart to keep track of your goals.

You can do this in various ways, depending on your goal. If that goal is to lose weight then keep photos and images of your progress.

If it’s another type of goal you might want to keep a journal or blog about your journey.

This way you can see what you are struggling with and what you’re accomplishing.

4. Lack of Support

Not having a support network can hurt your efforts to bring change to your life. Getting support from family and friends can be a big boost toward realizing your goals.

Put these four factors into practice. You’ll find that you have both more drive and more commitment.

And, you’ll finally start making those lifestyle changes you’ve dreamed about.

JohnK 4-25-2018
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Overheard: “There is no man living that can not do more than he thinks he can.”
~ Henry Ford

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Boost Your Confidence by Making Better Decisions

April 2, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments

You’re starting another week. Another week of decisions you’ll need to make. But somehow those decisions don’t get made.

It’s one of the more frustrating situations you (and those around you) can face. You can’t seem to make a decision and stick to it.

There can be many reasons why you lack the confidence to make decisions in your life.

As a child your parents may have made all your decisions for you. And you weren’t supposed to question them..

Or it could be that you don’t like the pressure decision making puts on you. You question whether you’re making the right decision. And you’re fearful about how your decision will affect others.

You may feel very anxious at the thought of having to make a decision.

Here are a few ways to recognize if you’re someone who lacks the confidence to make decisions:

You would rather have someone else make the decision for you –

Passing the decision-making process to another could show a lack of confidence.

You never make a decision –

Other people may be relying on you for a decision, but you let weeks or months slide by without deciding.

When you do make a decision, you second-guess yourself –

This is another demonstration of lack of confidence in your abilities.

Regardless of what led to an inability to trust yourself you can become better if you work at it.

Here are some ideas for improving your confidence and making good decisions.

Make an “unofficial” decision –

This is a decision that’s not yet set in stone. Make a decision, and live with that decision for a day.

For example, you’ve decided to upgrade to a bigger house, and you have the money saved up. You find a house that you really like that fits all the criteria you want in a bigger house.

It has a big yard, a deck, and an attached garage. But, you have trouble making decisions.

You may find that you try to talk yourself out of it. You begin to worry how you’ll afford it, the increased heating and cooling costs, and so forth.

This is where it can help to make an “unofficial” decision. You have to decide that you will or will not move.

Pick one, and live with that decision for a day. Convince yourself that the decision is a real one.

Then see how your decision makes you feel. This can be a good way to test decisions before making them official.

Knowing that you can still change your mind, if it doesn’t feel right, can be comforting.

Recognize decisions that are reversible –

For example, you’re having a tough time choosing a color of house paint. Start by picking some swatches. Then make a decision rather than fretting over the perfect color.

If you start painting and don’t like the color you can just reverse course and choose another color.

Ask yourself: what is the worst that can happen? –

Not all decisions are life altering. If you begin by making small decisions (like choosing which movie to go to) your confidence can grow as time goes on. You’ll be better positioned to make bigger decisions as time passes.

Write down the pros and cons of each decision you are considering –

It might help if you put your ideas on paper. List what you like and don’t like about them.

Seeing rather than only thinking about the options can make it easier to come to a decision.

JohnK 4-2-2018

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Overheard: “To change a habit, make a conscious decision, then act out the new behavior.”

~Maxwell Maltz

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Put The Brakes on Complaining

March 26, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments

Another Monday morning, and it’s a great time for complaining. Gotta wake up so early. Traffic is always a mess. This job is the worst.

You may not have a lot of options for improving your situation right now. But, you can change how you look at it

This is especially true if you’re a complainer. Let’s look at some ways to ratchet down the tendency to complain.

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How To Avoid Complaining

Remember the phrase from the poem Solitude, by Ella Wheeler Wilcox? The line is, “Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone”.

The same can be said for complaining. If you’re a chronic complainer, you may want to rethink that tendency.

One problem with complaining is that too much of it becomes less effective over time. Are you really unhappy with every situation you’re presented with?

It could be a sign that you have other negative situations going on in your life. You need to choose your battles, as they say.

Let’s say you have several situations that make you unhappy. Pick the one you most want to focus on for improvement.

It will be easier to get your point across if you limit the frequency of your complaints.

There’s a right time to complain. But it should be done in the context of offering up alternatives.

Be part of the solution and not part of the problem. If you only offer a complaint, how is that helping solve the problem?

Offering solutions will show your willingness to have a stake in solving the problem.

A good approach is to come up with more than one solution whenever possible. This will help get more people to see your side of the story.

If you’re someone who complains a lot, take a step back. Think about others who are chronic complainers as well.

How did you react to their constant stream of complaints? Did you think to yourself that the person should try to help solve the problem?

If you answered yes to this last question, this is how others are thinking when you complain.

Complainers often feel like no one’s listening to them, usually with good reason. And the increased frustration could lead to their alienation from the group.

This is not a good situation. Management could be more likely to let the complainers go. Or the complainers might take it upon themselves to leave.

Complaining is considered negative thinking, but it’s a changeable habit.

Begin that change by shifting from negative to positive thoughts.

Your peers will likely find fewer faults with you. And they won’t go out of their way to avoid you if you maintain a positive attitude.

If you find that you complain a lot and people are avoiding you it may be time for some changes.

JohnK 3-26-2018

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