GenuLines (blog) | Chi For Yourself

Self-Doubt And What You Can Do About It

March 5, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

Have you ever wrestled with self-doubt? That might seem like a silly question.

Most people doubt themselves at some point in their lives. Scroll down for some good words from GenuLines on dealing with self-doubt.

Self-Doubt And What You Can Do About It

Why do people engage in self-doubt? The reason is that it’s easier to doubt yourself than it is to believe that something is possible.

You may believe in your concept, but it’s something that hasn’t materialized yet. It’s unfamiliar territory for you.

Our protection mechanisms tell us to reach for something that’s familiar. We use this as a reason to quit.

The unknown also helps us to come up with excuses. It’s easy to say it won’t work because, and then insert whatever reason can set your mind at ease.

You can even find help from others in coming up with excuses. They have plenty of them for you to choose from.

If they didn’t, they would be succeeding at their goals.

A survival mechanism

Sometimes self-doubt can help us survive. For instance, someone tells you that you can jump off a cliff and survive.

Your self-doubt probably jumps in and tells you this is a bad idea. Self-doubt can sometimes keep you from making bad financial decisions.

This might be an opportunity that sounds too good to be true.

In most cases, self-doubt is not something that will advance your life. It will hold you back, and you need always to be aware of that.

Don’t take the easy way out. Do prepare yourself as much as possible for unfamiliar situations.

But, go forward with a strong belief that you can complete what you set out to do.

Try to structure your life so that you have more positive than negative energy. Flush out as much negative energy as possible.

Use affirmations, support groups, or whatever works for you.

Negative energy is what self-doubt is all about. Two forces are opposing each other.

If you have 100% negative energy that means you have 0% positive energy. Try to tip the scale toward as much positivity as possible and push away the negativity.

No shortage of negative energy

It’s unlikely that you can ever have 100% positive energy. But, you can work towards exposing yourself to positive energy.

You can stop listening to or reading the news, and you can reduce your exposure to negative people. Positive people do exist.

You just need to find them.

JohnK 3-5-2019

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Overheard: “Every time I start a picture I feel the same fear, the same self-doubts, and I have only one source on which I can draw. Because it comes from within me”

~ Federico Fellini

Photo by Paolo Nicolello on Unsplash

Appreciate The Small Things and Find Contentment

February 26, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

Appreciate the small stuff and you’ll be happy. You hear it enough.

But what is happiness anyway?

Today GenuLines looks at appreciation and its “kissin’ cousin”, contentment.

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Appreciate The Small Things and Find Contentment

Most emotions are transitional, meaning you’re never in one state for long periods. People who are considered upbeat will have moments of sadness or depression.

Even depressed people aren’t depressed all the time. They have moments of happiness, too.

Think about a major event such as a war. When two countries are fighting, both sides lose lives.

It’s bloody, and it can last for years. But, when the war is over, the countries are euphoric.

There will be no more bloodshed because of the war, and people can return to their homes. But, nothing that has changed in the world except that the war has ended.

In other words, the sun still sets each day. People still have to manage their lives.

The euphoria from the war ending doesn’t last long. Months later, the war is still over, but the euphoria has died down.

Same goes for sickness

The same is true in a smaller way when you have a bad sickness. For instance, suppose you have a stomach bug that leaves you uncomfortable and in pain.

When the bug passes you feel fine. But you don’t feel any better than you did when you weren’t experiencing the bug.

It’s relative to the bad feelings. That’s how emotional states work.

They go from one to the other on a constant basis.

Appreciating the small things in life may lead to happiness. But, it’s likely you’re content more than you are happy.

Contentment can almost be thought of as a neutral state, leaning toward the happy side. There’s nothing wrong when you’re content.

But, there also isn’t anything that is making you overly happy.

Striving for happiness can be stressful. You might want to shoot for contentment instead.

Contentment is likely to find you when you appreciate small aspects of your life.

And it comes without the hassle of working hard toward happiness.

If you spend most of your life being content you’re doing something right. Think about all the people you love and what you have, such as your health and a good job, etc.

If you try to imagine life without them, you will truly appreciate your contentment. That thought may even make you happy for a short period.

JohnK 2-26-2019
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Overheard: “My crown is called content, a crown that seldom kings enjoy”
~William Shakespeare

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Successful People And Their Lessons In Adversity

February 19, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

Successful people deal with adversity. It’s true.

Read the stories or profiles of most successful people. You’ll be surprised at just how adverse many of their situations were.

They often tell the stories for others to learn and to use to overcome adversity. I read those types of stories to help me with GenuLines posts.

Here are some suggestions for you to do the same.

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Profiles of successful people

These contain gems of information and can act as a resource for everyone else. The story is one aspect of reading about them.

But how they dealt with their situations is often a source of inspiration. When you become inspired, you increase your chances of effective problem-solving.

Inspiration doesn’t last forever, unfortunately. You need to reinforce the message.

If you can, try to set aside time to read one story of a successful person every month. This will help you feel inspired.

And it will give you ideas on how to use the stories to make your life better.

Some people’s stories are dated
But their techniques may be timeless. A perfect example of this is Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People.

The stories themselves describe people and occupations of days long gone. But, his techniques are as valid today as they were back then.

You can read all about the stories of successful people and get inspired. But, if you don’t take action, it will be of little help to you.

At that point, you become nothing more than a dreamer. Having dreams is good, but you need to make sure you take action on those dreams.

Common ground
Reading the stories of successful people often shows that they’re just like the rest of us. There isn’t anything superhuman about them that led them to their successes.

You’ll find a common theme among those facing adversity. They had persistence and kept a positive attitude.

Those two attributes will take you far when facing any situation.

Finding successful
You can choose to read stories online or find material in your local library. You can also choose to find stories on the internet.

Be careful of the resources you find online. Anyone can publish whatever they like while sounding convincing and authoritative.

Check the resources. And keep a critical eye out for people who don’t present qualified information.

Get into the habit of reading about successful people. You’ll shift to a successful mindset yourself.

And you’ll have a memory bank of stories to draw inspiration.

JohnK 2-18-2019
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Overheard: “A minute’s success pays the failure of years”
~Robert Browning

Routine Could Be Just What Your Life Needs

February 12, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

Riddle: When is routine not so routine? Answer: When it boosts your creativity.

For example, you can add routines to your life to make sure you’re completing your tasks. But you’ll need some structure to complete those tasks.

GenuLines has some guidelines to help you make that happen.

Routine Could Be Just What Your Life Needs

Start by defining which routines you want to map out for yourself. You could do this for your personal goals and work goals.

You can list all the tasks you currently need to do and decide which of those would need a routine.

A simple example would be to do an oil change on your car:

The first step is to schedule it for every three months on your calendar.
Then, you could map out a plan on how you’ll complete the task.
First, you’ll need to buy the supplies, like oil, filters, etc. You’ll also need to jack up the car or put it on jack stands.
Then, you will drain the old oil from the car, replace the filter, and add the new oil. The last step is to check the oil dipstick to make sure the levels are good.

More steps you can take
You can automate some tasks via computer. If you’re capable of doing this yourself, then proceed.

If you need to hire a computer programmer, you may be able to find one on freelance websites. It’s not as expensive as you might think.

You do want to make sure you create a complete specification. That can be a challenge if you’ve never done it before.

Always have a backup plan for any automated procedures. Some people get dependent on automation to the point where they don’t know what to do when the routines fail.

Write down how to do manual procedures in the event you need to get the job completed by a certain time. Trying to find a programmer to fix the problem is not easy and may cost you a lot of money.

When it’s all up to you
What if you have to perform routines which are not automated. You’ll need the discipline to complete them.

Schedule time on your calendar as a reminder. It’s easy to let these tasks go.

Especially if they’re ones you are not thrilled to do in the first place.

JohnK 2-12-2019
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Overheard: “The only routine with me is no routine at all”
~ Jackie Kennedy

Photo by Anelale Nájera on Unsplash

Relationship Fulfillment: Even With The Differences

February 7, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

Healthy, happy relationships are possible even when both parties don’t see eye to eye. Our guest today on Chi For Yourself is James L. Creighton, author of Loving Through Your Differences: Building Strong Relationships From Separate Realities.

The interview starts at 4 pm Eastern, 1 pm Pacific time at ChiForYourself.com

JohnK 2-7-2019

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Being a Perfectionist May Be a Sign of Low Self Trust

February 5, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

Are you a perfectionist? If so, your expectations may be set too high. GenuLines takes a look at this tendency, flaws and all.

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So you’re a perfectionist

It’s natural to want everything to be perfect. The trouble is there’s no time for it.

You’ll be disappointed to find that most people aren’t perfectionists.

You need to learn how to manage expectations.

It’s a delicate balance, and you have to know when you’ve done as much as you should. You can always do more, but you need to move on.

You snooze you lose

Another problem with perfectionism is that you may miss opportunities. Suppose you decide to hold off releasing a product because you want to put more features into it.

You delay the release of the product by several months. But you see that your competitors are finished releasing their versions.

The product you would have released was better than your competitors. Customers would have likely bought your products over your competitors.

Try explaining that one to management or shareholders!

Spreading the news

Good customer experiences with products get shared with friends and family. This sharing also occurs on social media channels, which in turn, can go viral.

It’s more challenging to build up a product that’s not yet released than it is to build up one that is.

When perfectionism is okay

There are cases that call for perfectionism. Medical techniques and technologies come to mind.

In most other fields, though, perfectionism will hold you back. It’s not necessary, and it only leads to frustration and delays.

Of course, you should never release products that have a sloppy design. Or are dangerous to the consumer.

That’s where this delicate balance comes into play. The product needs to meet safety guidelines.

Your reputation is at stake, and you don’t want customers bashing your product or your brand. In this case, it may be necessary to delay the release of products until they are safe, etc.

In self we trust

How is being a perfectionist a sign that you don’t trust yourself? You think that nothing is ever good enough and that you have to keep striving to be better.

When you trust yourself, you can reel in expectations to manageable levels.

JohnK 2-4-2019

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Overheard: “If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content”

~ Leo Tolstoy

Why It’s Important to Believe in Yourself

January 29, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

You’ll see it when you believe it. Believe and achieve. I believe in you.

We all love a snappy belief slogan. But when it comes to self-belief things can get a bit trickier.

GenuLines reminds you that believing in yourself is the ultimate belief.

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Believe In Yourself- Even By Yourself

You hear about how you have to believe in yourself. Ever wonder exactly why?

The simple answer is that practically no one else will. Your spouse and your family will believe in you to a certain extent.

But, when times get tough, family support tends to wane. It’s not that they don’t love and care about you.

They just stopped believing in you.

While this doesn’t always happen, it happens often enough to cause conflict.

For example, your spouse or parents might at first give you support on a new venture. But the venture doesn’t work out as they believe it should.

So they start to question whether you should continue with it. If your belief starts to weaken, you may take on their way of thinking.

The Only Thing To Fear

The reason beliefs start to weaken is due to a fear of the unknown. When you start a new venture, everyone is excited for you and will tell you to give it your best shot.

But when the prospects of the business become murkier, that excitement turns to fear.

The problem is the path towards success for these ventures is not a straight line up. Having some bumps in the road is normal.

In fact, this is what defines the success of the enterprise, and the people who are taking risks. It should be welcomed and not feared.

The fear of the unknown may start to creep into your psyche. It’s easier to listen to your family and friends tell you to dissolve your venture because it’s failing.

They will continue down this negative path until you decide to stop. If you do choose to give up on your business, they will tell you that it wasn’t meant to be.

They’ll remind you that starting a business is difficult. That’s precisely the moment that you shouldn’t stop.

Don’t Stop Believing

You don’t get ahead by quitting. If you believe in yourself, you would have had the conviction to see it through.

You would have the appropriate guidance to give you strength to surge ahead. You could have done it all while telling your family and friends to have some faith.

A firm belief in yourself would give you the courage to stand up to them.
Whatever venture you decide to pursue, know that only by continuing will you make it work.

Think of Thomas Edison and the lightbulb. While he didn’t invent the lightbulb (contrary to popular belief), he made ones that lasted longer.

Imagine if he decided to quit after he ran into a few stumbling blocks early on.

JohnK 1-29-2019
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Photo by Samuel Zeller on Unsplash

Appreciate Who You Are

January 22, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

It’s such a simple concept to accept and appreciate who you are. When you do that, you’ll find that others will appreciate you as well.

It doesn’t cost anything, and it’s the right thing to do. GenuLines reminds you that you’re unique, and that’s something to celebrate!

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Appreciate And Be Grateful

When you appreciate who you are, you can be grateful for other aspects of your life. These are the aspects that others take for granted, i.e., their health, their family, and their friends.

When you’re grateful, you will attract the right people and things. By contrast, a lack of gratitude can repel others.

Life is short. During the limited time you have, why not appreciate what you have?

All systems go?
Let’s say you have a great family and great friends. Your job is going well.
But you feel you could be making more money.

Wealth is something you can increase if you want or need it. Do your best not to stress over finances.

Doing that could make you lose sight of life’s most important things.

Appreciate the less than perfect
Accept your imperfections. Those “flaws” help you learn and define who you are.

Sure, work on the ones that hurt you or other people. But a wholesale change is probably not necessary.

Change for change sake could take you away from your genuine self. That pretense won’t last long.

Handle the “buzzkill”
Dealing with the world’s negative energy is something you do every day. The effect can be a loss of self-acceptance.

People around you may put you down. Or they won’t accept you.

This can impact your emotional well-being. But you can counter the effects through affirmations.

Affirm who you are and why you appreciate yourself. If someone does a negative beat down on you cancel the negativity with affirmations.

You can interrupt negative thinking if your thoughts slip back in that direction. Think of all you’re grateful for, especially the small but important things.

You shall overcome
The process can be challenging. But you can prevail by using gratitude as a tool.

Do your best to be with people who are grateful for what they have. This will remind you that you’re on the right path.

Grateful people are upbeat. And, well, they just might be more fun to be around!

JohnK 1-22-2019
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Why Routine Is Good for You

January 8, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

Your daily routine probably doesn’t vary much. But today GenuLines looks at routine in a different way. Read on and you might do the same!

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Why Routine Is Good for You

You hear people refer to routine as being dull or boring. It implies that life is the same from one day to the next.

But, routines are a great way to get your work done. They’re also a great means for teams to work together toward a common goal.

When everyone has an idea of what needs to get done, projects tend to run smoother. Each member knows what they need to do.

We also have routines in our society. In some ways, laws are routines.

You know that you aren’t supposed to run a red light and that can be thought of as a routine. When you come to a red light, you stop as best as you can.

There may be instances when you unsuccessfully try to beat one here or there. But, most people will stop for red lights.

To no one’s surprise this helps to reduce accidents.

It Starts at Home
You set up routines for your kids in the form of chores. You know that certain tasks need to get done each week.

Many parents tie kids’ allowances to these chores. When the kids finish their chores, they receive their allowances.

It teaches the kids a work ethic. They need to perform tasks, and when they complete those tasks, they receive money for them.

When you pay bills, you tend to have a routine for this. Some people like to get everything sorted on one day and pay all the bills on that day.

Others will pay them whenever they receive them. Others, still, will set up automatic payments through their bank or brokerage.

There isn’t a right answer for how to do this. Whatever works for you is the right answer.

But, the method you choose will be routine.

When There Is No Routine
Contrast this with people who don’t have routines to manage their lives. They tend to handle tasks when the mood strikes them.

These people are usually late with their bills and have messy environments. Some of these people will say that this way of life works for them.

Others call it chaos. It’s something you can easily avoid setting up routines for the tasks you need to complete.

Of course, people are not robots. They do break up their routines on occasion.

You may use weekends to do activities that you don’t get to do during the work week. Also, many families use vacations to help break up their routines.

JohnK 1-8-2019

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Trust and Confidence: A Powerful Combination

January 3, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

If you’re having a hard time trusting yourself, it may be a sign that you lack confidence. Trust in this case is near impossible without confidence.

Lacking Confidence
Feel secure in your abilities and be strong in your convictions. But, know when you’re wrong, too.

This may seem scary to you.

But it’s not as difficult as you think. No one is born with confidence. It’s something people learn and develop during their lives.

It’s the same for you. Take steps to develop your confidence and trusting yourself will become easy.

Fear Sabotages Confidence
When you give in to your fears, you’ll diminish the chances of building up your confidence. This can get out of hand if you don’t deal with it right away.

You need to face your fears head-on. That doesn’t mean you should throw caution to the wind and be reckless.

You can take chances but only if they won’t put your life or others’ lives in danger. You wouldn’t jump out of a plane without a parachute.

Don’t make frivolous decisions, either. Confidence is about knowing the difference.

Start out with small tasks that you have been afraid to try in the past. Most outcomes will turn out better than you imagine.

If you try to project what will happen, and it is always a negative outcome, you will never make any decisions. Take on those small tasks without thinking too much about what’s going to happen.

That will build up your confidence as you’ve never seen before.

Don’t Be Afraid To Ask Questions
You should ask questions when you aren’t sure about the situations you face. Confidence isn’t about having all the answers.

It’s about knowing where to find them and who to rely on with the knowledge that you need. It’s also about pulling the trigger when you’ve gathered enough information.

Confidence is about taking responsibility for your decisions and your actions. If you believe in what you’re doing, you can convey that belief to the people affected by your decisions.

If you start blaming others when your situation doesn’t go as planned you’ll come across as weak.

Once this happens, others will lose faith in you. Your confidence will erode, and self-doubt will take over.

When you make your decisions, you own them, even if they don’t work out.
Increase your confidence and you’ll increase self-trust.

Then, you can soar higher than you ever imagined.

JohnK 1-3-2019

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