You can look at fear as friend or foe. It depends on the situation.
Today GenuLines reminds you that sometimes you just have to kick it to the curb.
Setting Aside Fear Can Free You
Fear is something that can protect you. When you enter into an unknown area, your sense of fear increases.
You want to survive to live another day. In this way, fear can help you determine whether you should move forward or go somewhere else.
But that same fear can hold you back from experiences that may advance your life. People fear the unknown.
Most will need to venture into the unknown to reach their goals or to get out of unwanted situations.
Stories
One way to overcome fear is to read about others who have faced similar situations like yours. See what steps they took and try to fit what they did to what you would like to do.
Not every solution will be viable.
But if you search for ideas from different people, you may find a set of ideas that will work. Know that usually most of what we fear is not as bad as we first believe.
In other words, try something that you’re afraid to try,
That Was Easy
You may find it was much easier than you thought it would be. This won’t happen in every case, but with a fair majority, it will.
Think about those times when you said to yourself, “that wasn’t so bad!” There are likely to be many of those in your life.
Create a vision of what your situation would be without the fear. Continue this vision for as long as it takes to reduce or end it.
Mind Game
The very act of believing the fear is not real can help convince your mind that there is nothing to be afraid of.
There are circumstances where we should take heed of our fears. Jumping out of a 50-story building is going to kill you unless you are somehow very lucky.
Of course you have to respect and acknowledge these fears. Other fears have the potential of positive outcomes.
Get Started
Think asking for a raise, buying a stock for the first time, or starting a new business. These are the types of fears that we need to try and overcome.
It can cripple you in other ways, too.
For instance, you have a lot of experience in your job. So you get caught up in avoiding new experiences since you’ve already “done it all.”
Your experience tells you that these new situations will not work. This is also the reason why inexperienced people try things without fear.
You want to take more chances in your life, but you keep holding back. GenuLines reminds you that this is learned.
And today we’ll help you re-write that lesson
Why We Don’t Like to Take Chances
We’re taught from a very early stage by our parents to be careful.
We’re told to lookboth ways before crossing the street and not to eat what is unfamiliar.
Parents want their kids to live long healthy lives. So they teach them to be cautious about most everything.
It was the same for their parents and so on down the line.
What’s It All About?
It’s all about self-preservation and keeping the family going generation after generation. But there are other reasons that we don’t like to take chances.
Societies have rules that its citizens must follow. Failure to do this can lead to jail time.
Even if what we do is legal our need to follow rules can take over. This tends to add to our cautious state of being.
Crowd Control
We hesitate to take chances because these rules are such a part of our lives. We also tend to follow the crowd and there are studies to back this up.
This is a herd mentality.
Say you’re on a busy city street and you look up in the sky for a long period of time. You’ll find more and more people gathering around to see exactly what you’re looking at.
There may be nothing of importance up there. But folks want to know what the attraction is.
So It Is With Taking Chances
If no one else has done it before we’re not likely to take the plunge. As mentioned earlier, we want to see others experience something.
Then we’ll decide whether to go for it ourselves.
This is why we look to product reviews and forums before making purchases online. We want to know that others used products or services without problems.
Go Around The Block
These reasons that we don’t like to take chances are mental blocks. They put up a proverbial stop sign anytime we encounter something that doesn’t sit well with us.
This leads us to create excuses not to do something. The biggest problem is that these barriers took a lifetime to build up so breaking them down is never easy.
We first have to have the belief that we can break them down before we allow ourselves to do so.
Is your confidence up to the task? It may be time to take stock of where you are on the confidence scale.
These questions from GenuLines are intended to help your sweet spot.
What is Your Confidence Quotient?
Yes you want to be confident. But not so confident that you come off as arrogant.
You want to project the confidence needed to succeed in life and reach the goals that you’ve set for yourself.
Read and answer the following questions (all yes or no) and then look back on your answers. You should have a pretty good idea if your confidence quotient is high or low – or in the middle.
This will show you areas you need to work on to raise it.
Do you feel guilty when you say “no?”
Saying “no” can be traumatic for you if you lack confidence in your decisions.
You may find yourself making up lies to get out of things rather than saying, “no.”
Do you compare yourself to others?
There’s always going to be someone smarter, richer and better looking than you. Until you become comfortable with yourself you’ll lack confidence to go farther in life.
Do you feel intimidated in most situations?
You’re likely to feel intimidated by others if you compare yourself to others. (see previous question) Don’t think of yourself as inferior to them.
Stop comparing yourself and enjoy the moment.
Do you stand up for your values and beliefs?
Let’s say you easily get swayed by others or stay silent in an uncomfortable situation. You could lack confidence.
Compromising your belief system can be a confidence killer.
Do you try hard to impress others?
When you’re confident, you don’t have to strive to impress. You’ll impress others with your mere presence.
Confidence exudes an image that means you don’t have to try to impress – it will become natural
Are you money sound?
Financial well-being can add to your confidence quotient. If you have trouble budgeting and spending you may need help from a pro.
A financial planner can give you more confidence in your financial future.
Do you hesitate to take the initiative on projects or ideas?
Building confidence helps you feel good about taking on challenges and new ideas. It’s okay to take a back seat to someone who knows more and whom you can learn from.
But put yourself out there by sometimes taking the initiative.
Do you feel confident about your future?
It’s important that you feel comfortable about the choices you’re making. This will go a long way toward impacting your future.
That future encompasses your health, family and job decisions that you’re making now. Be sure they’re based on facts.
Assess your confidence quotient and determine what you need to do to raise it.
Check your progress
Take action on your weak points. Later, when you feel you’ve made progress in the areas you needed to work on, answer the questions again.
You’re thinking about starting a self development program. But you’re not sure. It can be an important move for you and GenuLines is here to show you some “whys.”
Why Is Self Development Important?
When you were a kid your doubts, fears and insecurities could cause you to think, “I wish I was somebody else.”
Even today it’s common to think that some or most people are better than us, especially when we’re feeling low. The truth is often very different.
You look at a successful young business entrepreneur and say “What else could he ask for?” Yet he may wonder why his friends won’t talk to him any more.
Envy
Isn’t it funny? We look at other people and envy them for what seems to us to be their perfect lives.
We wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and think the same thing. We’re insecure about other people who themselves might be insecure about us.
The result could be low self-esteem. Or low self-confidence and loss of faith in self development
Not So Magnificent Obsession
So it can happen that you spend all your time obsessing about what seem to be your negative points. Yet it might be that they don’t matter to anybody else.
At the same time, you could have an irritating habit that you’re not even aware of.
Stop, Look and..
One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone you’re comfortable with.
Someone who’ll let you open up on even the most sensitive topics you want to discuss. Ask questions in a way that makes it possible for the other person to tell you what is really happening.
This signals to the other person that you’re interested in self development. Usually, the person will hesitate to tell the truth right away.
Be Gracious
Of course it’s important to accept any comments or criticisms that you hear. You may feel hurt but try not to show it or your listener won’t want to tell you more.
Then you may want to check out the results with other people. It doesn’t hurt to get a second opinion.
Let’s say you’re the one offering self-improvement suggestions.
Start with letting them see that you yourself are following the path of self development. Self improvement makes us better people, more open to the world around us.
Re-imagine YOU
It’s vital to stop thinking of yourself as a second-rate being. Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer .. if only I was thinner” and so on.
Accepting your genuine self is the first step to self improvement.
We all have our insecurities. We can wish we had better things, better features, etc.
But life need not be perfect for you to be happy about yourself. It’s more about acceptance and contentment.
When you begin to improve yourself you’ll begin to feel contentment and happiness.
We’d all like to have grace under pressure. Easier said than done.
Today GenuLines looks at pressure and what you can do to make it manageable.
Stress and Motivation And How They Pressure Us
We’ve all been there. The deadline is looming and you’re not even out of the starting block.
We all recognize that feeling in the pit of our stomach as we settle down to work. But does it have to lead to stress?
And what does stress actually do to our motivation and focus?
Stressed Sick
Stress effects our bodies. It leads to higher blood pressure, anxiety, and a host of other symptoms.
It also makes it hard to concentrate on the task at hand.
Let’s say you’re feeling pressure at work, and it’s leading to stress. Your effectiveness could suffer.
You might be missing deadlines or making mistakes. You might even worry yourself sick and have to take a personal day.
Stress from psychological pressure can be the cause of all these problems.
Mounting Motivation
With good coping skills, pressure doesn’t have to lead to stress. It can affect motivation in a positive way, too.
When you’re feeling stressed, try practicing positive thinking or self-distraction. These are some of the many techniques that can beat stress and help your focus.
Like other skills, motivation under pressure takes practice. Learning to cope is crucial.
Positive coping mechanisms can help you melt away your stress. The stress is then replaced by a host of positive benefits of working under stress.
Performing Under Fire
When you master your stress levels and learn to perform under pressure you might notice a few things. You’ll keep a cooler head in difficult situations.
Your thinking is clear. Those around you may be struggling with the thought of some terrible outcome.
You’ll notice that your leadership skills improve, and that people turn to you in a crisis.
Up your game
You might also see that you perform better under pressure, People who do are in huge demand in most every industry.
At the office or behind a counter, performance under stress can lead to positive feedback. And promotions.
Employers value someone who can keep their cool. With a little bit of practice and some positive habits that someone could turn out to be you.
Morning rush hour isn’t only on the highway. GenuLines knows you deal with your own rush before you head out the door.
With that in mind, here are a few ideas to help you “tap the brakes” during your earliest hours.
Find Time In Your Busy Morning
Mornings are busy and they can be quite chaotic. If you have a young family and plenty of people to get ready and out the door, you know this first hand.
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way, no matter how busy you think you are first thing in the day.
The first few hours in the morning set the tone for the entire rest of the day. Do you want a panic scene, feeling like you’re running and trying to catch up?
Or do you want it to be calm, collected, productive, and with a feeling that you’re in control? It’s up to you and it’s all about embracing two simple concepts.
Get Up Early Enough
It’s tempting to hit the snooze button and catch a few more minutes of sleep, isn’t it? It’s even hard to set the alarm early enough that you have plenty of time for everything you want and need to get done.
I get it.
If you’re not a morning person, moving up the alarm by 30 minutes to carve out a little extra time can be tough. But after the first few mornings, it won’t be anywhere near as hard as you think.
And you’ll get used to it.
Getting up early enough and avoiding the snooze button at all costs is the key to an unrushed morning.
Buying Time?
Here’s the problem with cutting corners with time, or worse hitting the snooze button a few times. It gets you behind from the very start.
You have to rush to make it out the door in time and any little problem or speed bump along the way turns into a huge problem. Not being able to find the car keys becomes a major crisis.
It could cause you to be late for work and the kids to be tardy at school. Remember, your morning sets the tone for the rest of your day.
If you start it chasing downtime and things, that’s likely how you’ll spend the rest of your time.
But getting up early enough puts you ahead of the game. You’re in control.
You can take care of everything that needs doing in a calm manner. And you’ll still have time for the important things you want to work on.
In short, getting up early enough sets you up for an amazing, productive day.
Restructure Your Routine
Think about your current morning routine and where you’re spending time. Look for things you can change and tweak to find more time for the things you want to do.
For example, let’s say you want an extra 20 minutes in the morning to meditate. Look at what you could take care of ahead of time, get rid of, or delegate to make that time.
You may spend a lot of time getting breakfast for everyone. So get in the habit of setting the breakfast table the night before.
Arrange for your spouse or partner to get the coffee ready, so all you have to do in the morning is push a button. Teach the kids to make their own breakfast.
Have them take their dirty dishes and prep them for the dishwasher. Make sure clothes are set out the night before (including yours).
Give book bags, purses, briefcases, and car keys a designated spot. Know that they’re where they need to be before you turn in for the night.
Small changes like this to your morning routine can make a big difference. I challenge you to come up with a few more small tweaks that will save you at least 30 minutes in the morning.
You know that self-confidence is important. You just don’t think about it much.
Today you’re invited to sample some food for thought from GenuLines.
Why Self-Confidence Matters
It often seems that confidence is elusive, like a smoky mirage.
Sometimes, it feels magical and wonderful; other times it can be frustrating.
But you can build up your self-confidence without having to resort to mystical means.
‘How?’ you ask. It’s simple.
Start by recognizing that confidence is a skill you can learn. You set a goal and take small steps each day to work towards it.
Keep reading to find out more about self-confidence and why it matters.
What Is Self-Confidence?
Self-confidence isn’t tangible. You can’t touch it and say, “This is confidence.”
It’s something we get a feeling for when we, or others, have it.
Likewise, we can recognize when someone lacks it. Even when they try to attempt to compensate for it, we sense it and feel bad for them.
The good news is that self-confidence is a soft skill. Which means you can learn it and apply it to your daily life.
It’s not fixed, like your height for example.
It’s based for the most part on your mindset and the actions you do to follow through. You can boost your confidence and self-esteem by trusting your abilities.
Seeing yourself succeed in your mind is the first step in making better decisions.
Then, when your decisions make your life better, your confidence gets a nice little boost. And round and round it goes.
Confidence is Infectious
Even though we can’t see it, we still sense other people’s confidence levels in the way they behave and speak.
When you’re confident, you exude excitement and energy. You’re motivated to work hard and feel that same energy.
The downside is it goes both ways.
When one person lacks confidence, it can deflate everyone around them. They get the sense that there’s no point in trying.
Why Does Self-Confidence Matter?
There are different reasons why being confident can improve your life. Below, you’ll find a few examples of how it can make you a happier, more fulfilled individual.
Allows You to Take Positive Risks
Confidence can your life bring balance and a sense of direction. Making a conscious decision to develop your confidence does several things.
It allows you to take positive risks. It gets you out of your comfort zone.
And puts you on the path to success. The trick is understanding your own strength.
You have to believe that you can master whatever skill you’re working on.
Yes, it’ll be weird and difficult in the beginning. Yes, you’ll make mistakes along the way.
So what?
That’s what life is about. This is what boosts your self-esteem and makes you better at everything you do.
Empowers You to Embrace Your Failures
We all make mistakes. We all fail and meet obstacles in our lives.
The key is to understand that failures are a necessary part of progress. Read that again and let it sink in.
You may think that when you fail, it’s the end of the journey. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth. To embrace your failures, you have to think of them as detours.
When you’re forced to change lanes or take a detour that doesn’t mean the entire journey is over. It means you’re taking a different path.
You’ll get there when the time is right.
Now, why do some people succeed after failing and others don’t? Those who manage to do that learn from their mistakes.
They go over what went wrong and find a way to fix it. In other words, they use their failures to their advantage.
They use them to prop themselves up and give them the push they need to keep going on their path.
Let’s Pause
Think about Thomas Edison and Michael Jordan. What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of these two names?
Success? Fame? Glory? All of the above?
What about failure?”
These are two of the most familiar names you can think of. You say they haven’t failed.
Well, in truth they have—many times, in fact.
Yet, they’re smart enough to use their failures as stepping stones to aim higher and work harder.
Imagine the contributions we would never know if these two men had given up every time they failed! One of Edison’s quotes about refining the light bulb is, “I haven’t failed.
I’ve found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Enables You To Trust Yourself
Many times, we can be our own worst enemies. We critique every move, every word, and every thought over and over again.
In moderation, it can be a great incentive to do better. Although, this only works if we treat ourselves with the same kindness and empathy, we show others.
Sad to say, it doesn’t happen very often. The best way to break out of that negative self-talk is to have faith in yourself.
Have faith in your decisions Even if you made mistakes in the past, that doesn’t ensure future failures. Own up to your bad decision, embrace it, and move on.
That’s now part of your DNA; it’s helping shape a stronger, more resilient person. Imagine it being part of your arsenal or a superpower.
Now, you’ve turned your mistake into something that can make you more resilient and less anxious.
A Final Note
Self-confidence is an integral part of who you are. Knowing why it matters may be the difference between being happy and being miserable.
Having that self-assurance can help boost your relationships and career. You’ll also be able to inspire others to become happier and more fulfilled.
Your character is not set in stone. There are ways to make changes that can power up your life.
Let GenuLines start you on your own character re-charge..
You Can Improve Your Character Defects
Everybody has at least one character defect. But it’s how you go about changing your bad habits that define you as a person.
Life is non- linear and non- stagnant, and nobody is perfect. Keeping that in mind, be gentle on yourself.
And open your mind as you discover your character defects and work towards changing them.
What Are Character Defects?
They are what seem to be harmful or toxic traits hindering your growth. These present issues for you in your life.
It could be a vice, your habits, or a way of thinking. It’s something that you have may have recognized as a problem area that you would like to fix.
Changing Your Personality
Personality changes don’t happen overnight. It’s a process.
As humans, we spend most of our lives changing and evolving. The key is to acknowledge and work on what you see as an issue in your life and take action to fix it.
Personality has to do with your mind and the way you think. Here are some steps and things to think about as you work on overcoming what you believe is holding you back.
Progress Not Perfection
We spend the majority of our lives working to better ourselves. The goal is to start the process chase this idea of making progress, not finding the solution.
It’s the steps you take toward the solution that count.
Time is linear. But remember that progress and life are very much non-linear in how and when events in life happen.
It’s okay if something doesn’t work. The goal is to keep trying.
Replace Behavior
Replace malicious behavior with positive behavior. Substitute destructive activities with alternative tasks.
Use these to distract yourself. It can be something productive, but it doesn’t need to be.
The goal is for it to be less harmful than whatever it is you are trying to replace. This will do one of two things.
It will rewire your brain until you won’t focus or crave that harmful activity. And two, it would provide you less time to think about such.
Persistence
Don’t give up. Aim to change and improve yourself as a person.
This is an ongoing process. We’ll spend our whole lives improving.
And we’ll become better versions of ourselves each time. It won’t be perfect, but the idea is progress, not perfection.
Let Go
Let go of old negative behaviors from your past. Work towards conquering past pain so that you can move forward.
Let go of the things that stop you from moving forward. The ones that make you bitter or bear a grudge, and in general, anything that’s not making you happy.
Taking off that bitter edge will allow you to move forward and give up things that no longer serve you.
Bloom
Envision what you want for yourself and who you want to be. In a sense you’ll be a role model for yourself.
And you provide yourself something to strive toward. Control your narrative.
You can become the type of person you want to be. You have the power to change.
Not right away, but over time.
We grow
Everybody has something that could fall into the category of a character defect. We’re always growing and evolving.
Identify your problem areas and make a plan to address them. This will go a long way to a happier, healthier life.
Often the most important lessons you learn are outside of the classroom? And they can double as stories you tell again and again throughout your life.
Today via GenuLines I share one of those with you.
Lesson Learned On A School Bus
It was sort of a side hustle. A job that would back up another job that would fund my college tuition.
I was a 22 year old school bus driver.
Most of my driving consisted of extra curricular activities and outings. One of those involved a field trip for kids from an inner city school in Pittsburgh.
Off we go
This group was like most. Talking, laughing, happy for a break from their stuffy classrooms.
We headed for the park and its wide open spaces. As I wheeled toward the entrance there was an anticipation that was palpable.
Everyone piled out of the vehicle full of happy expectation- with one exception.
The boy
He stayed in his seat, saying nothing and sort of staring into space. I wondered why he wanted to stay inside and miss a chance to enjoy the day with his friends.
I made an attempt to open him up a bit. It didn’t do much good.
He mumbled his responses and I couldn’t make them out. I did convince him to get up and go outside and I was sure he was going to run to catch up with the group.
But he didn’t.
He stood there in the same quiet state that kept him entranced during the ride. I thought the best thing for me to do was go back inside the bus and leave him to his thoughts.
But after a minute or so I heard, and felt, a loud bang on the side of the bus. Then there was another.
Ready, aim..
Outside the bus I saw this boy picking up chunks of dried mud from the parking lot. He was breaking off pieces and throwing them at the bus.
And I mean throwing them with a gusto a major league baseball scout would have admired.
This time I thought it best to get him back to his seat and away from any people who might be in the area. And now I questioned him in a more persistent way.
But his answers didn’t shed any light on why he would target a 72 passenger bus for a shelling. I did manage to keep him engaged in conversation.
And then the talk switched to movies.
Scene and heard
He volunteered that he had recently seen the movie Jaws. As he took me through the scenes of the movie he became more upbeat and animated.
I hadn’t yet seen the movie. But I didn’t mind hearing about the final scene without a spoiler alert.
The rest of the kids came back from their visit and we headed back to the school. I felt glad that I could diffuse the situation.
But I started to wonder what kind of a life this boy might be going back to.
Is he ignored in a dysfunctional house? Do his needs go unmet?
Is he a victim of violence?
Learning curve
Would this experience change the boy’s life? Probably not.
But it taught the driver the importance of listening and caring. And that lesson would never show up on a college syllabus.
Believe it or not, some bad habits are good for you. Your parents may have tried to punish you out of or control us out of doing these things.
Of course, everything in moderation, right? Let’s look at eight “bad” habits that are actually good for you that you can stop trying to end now.
1. Fidgeting
If you tend to wiggle a lot, your mom might have tried to stop it. Your partner might try too.
Yet, fidgeting is good for you because it burns more calories and keeps your blood moving.
This is especially true if you have a job that requires a lot of sitting. Sitting is comparable to smoking in damaging health.
So anything that can undo that damage is a good thing.
2. Gum Chewing
Sugarless gum is good for you. That’s if you have the right dental work or your own teeth.
Chewing gum burns calories and helps you eat less. It freshens your breath and also cuts down on cavities.
3. Video Games
While there may be some games that aren’t worth the added benefit. But in general playing video games helps with developing fine motor skills.
It keeps the mind nimble. And by some reports can help give relief for chronic pain conditions by taking your mind off the problem.
4. Daydreaming
Finding a way to allow your mind to get bored enough to be able to daydream is very good for your mind. It clarifies your goals in life, too.
You won’t create lofty goals for your life if you can’t daydream.
5. Swearing
Most of us feel that swearing is inappropriate. But studies show that swearing in a certain way reduces stress.
Remember that swearing is completely different from a slur. A slur is something you say about a person, whilst a swearword is a curse word – otherwise known as an expletive.
6. Messiness
If you are a messy person by nature, take heart; you’re likely also a very creative person. Messiness is sometimes a sign of creativity.
If you want to be more creative, don’t become messy on purpose. But realize that sometimes being messy is part of the creative process.
7. Sleeping in Late
They say that “the early bird gets the worm,” but does it? Sleeping well and enough each night is important to your health and brain function.
If you stayed up late and need to sleep in and it won’t cause you to get fired or miss something important – go for it.
8. Passing Gas
Passing gas is a normal action. It gets rid of built-up gas from your digestive tract. to prevent bloating and pain.
Of course, you don’t want to do some of these things when other people are around. But it’s okay to accept some of them as part of who you are and part of living life.
As long as you can choose the habits you create, you can build a life in line with what you want it to be.
Overheard: “Ignorance is the parent of fear” 
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