self-confidence

Tag Archive for self-confidence

Helping Others Deal with Adversity

April 30, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

At some point in your life, you’re going to experience adversity. It teaches you that you have the strength to overcome most anything that comes your way.

Sometimes, others you know may need help when dealing with their adverse situations. GenuLines reminds you that your experience of self-help puts you in a good position to offer them help.

Helping Others Deal with Adversity

The people you’re trying to help may need to open up about their situation. If they’re denying that it’s occurring, it’s going to be difficult to help them.

They won’t accept your offers of help because they don’t believe anything is wrong. Or worse, they’ll get angry with you for even suggesting something is wrong.

A helpful approach

There’s a way to help them realize they have a problem. Ask them how they would handle a similar situation if they needed to help someone else.

This gets them to focus on an outside entity, even if fictitious. This lets them start the process of identifying the problem.

It doesn’t guarantee that they’ll come around. But it can get the process started.

Helping people to recognize the problem helps them take action.

You may want to search for help online. Research before they do so that you can help them when they get to that point of doing the research themselves.

It’s not a bad idea to learn more about the situation. You’ll be better able to help them.

Your adversity experience

If you’ve dealt with the specific situation before, that will speed the process. The person you’re helping can ask questions about your experiences and what you did to cope or get through it.

You will likely have a list of resources prepared from your experiences. You can volunteer to go with them to any support groups or meetings.

But once they get started they may be able to do it alone.

Helping others deal with adversity is not an easy task. You should expect to get resistance, especially in the beginning.

But, if you can get them to see the problem, they may be ready to take action towards the recovery process. It can be rewarding to know that you helped people start on their road to recovery.

JohnK 4-30-2019

chiforyourself.com home

Overheard: “The bravest sight in the world is to see a great man struggling against adversity”

~Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Do You Know Your Optimal Routine Zone?

April 23, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

Do you have a favorite time of day to do your work? Not everyone’s a “rise and shine” thinking dynamo.

Today GenuLines looks at different peak productivity times. Let’s see where you might fit into one of them.

Do You Know Your Optimal Routine Zone?

People have certain times of the day when they do their best work. They get more done and are more focused.

Some do better in the mornings. Others in the afternoons.

Then there are the night owls, who can produce the most during the later hours. These are their optimal routine zones.

What is your optimal routine zone? Are you a morning person or do you cringe at the thought of getting up early?

Do you have vampire blood that lets you do your best work at night?

Match up with the zone

Whatever you find to be your optimal routine zone, set your tasks to work during these times. Do as much of your work as possible during this optimal zone.

Structure your day around it.

Working during your optimal time doesn’t mean you do nothing when you’re outside of those zones. Your boss will likely not take too kindly if you slack off.

Instead, you should use this time for activities that are not as taxing. These include making phone calls and other non-stressful activities.

Sometimes, you’ll have no choice but to do more of the heavy lifting during your “off times.” If this happens, you’ll have to make the best of it.

Zone out

Another problem is that you may be working in a job that does not coincide with your optimal zones. That’s a tough one.

You may want to adjust or to move on to opportunities where you can work during your optimal times.

If your job involves being creative, this concept of optimal zones is going to work in your favor. For instance, if you are a writer, try to do most of your writing during these times.

You can use the other times to answer emails, post on social media, or check out forums related to your writing. If you’re writing for a blog, try writing several posts in your zone.

Schedule them as if you’ve written one per day, etc.

Increasing your productivity is knowing your advantages. Find your optimal work zones and use them effectively.

This way you’ll increase your productivity. Your manager will notice this, and it could help you when asking for a raise or getting a promotion.

It will also give you the satisfaction of a more fulfilling job.

JohnK 4-23-2019

chiforyourself.com home

Overheard: “It’s a hard thing to leave any deeply routine life, even if you hate it.”

~John Steinbeck, East of Eden

Learn How to Make Mistakes

April 16, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

So you’re afraid to make mistakes. And that’s cutting into your self-trust.

GenuLines realizes that this could be standing in the way of your success. When you learn how to make mistakes, you’ll be ready to start trusting yourself.

Learn How to Make Mistakes

I think you’ll agree that nobody is perfect. I make mistakes and you do, too..

When you make mistakes, you learn from them. That’s what makes them so valuable.

Of course, if you don’t learn from them, you can expect to make the same mistakes again and again. That’s why you have to do a post mortem of your actions and take stock of where you made your mistakes.

Mistakes will happen

If you try too hard to avoid mistakes, you end up making more of them. You can’t avoid mistakes and you shouldn’t try. Sometimes, your mistakes will make people angry with you.

It’s a part of life.

If this happens, you first have to determine if your mistakes truly affected those people. If it didn’t, they have no right to call you out on them.

If it turns out that your actions did affect them, do what you can to rectify the situation. A simple apology may be all that’s needed.

Be forgiving of people who make mistakes. You would want them to do the same if you slipped up.

It’s okay to get angry at someone in certain situations. But, open your heart and let them make amends.

Once you give in to making mistakes, you’ll find it a freeing experience. You will no longer need to put too much pressure on yourself to avoid them.

Sticky situations

Meanwhile, mistakes can lead to positive, unintended circumstances. Take Sticky Notes by 3M.

Researchers at the company set out to create a strong adhesive. Management was not impressed, but the idea was used to create a different product.

There have been many instances of mistakes that lead to alternative solutions. These wouldn’t have happened by way of mistake avoidance.

Let yourself make mistakes. They’ll help you trust yourself.

JohnK 4-16-2019

chiforyourself.com home

Overheard: “You make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you.”

~Maxwell Maltz

Complainers Can Learn to Appreciate Small Things

April 2, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

Complainers complain. It’s what they do. Are you dealing with such a person? If you are, consider the points in this GenuLines post and apply them to your situation.

Complainers Can Learn to Appreciate Small Things

Do you know a chronic complainer? Someone who never seems to be happy about anything.

They find everything wrong with what others do. If there’s a new idea, they’ll knock it down.

They’re also the type of person who will interrupt others to make their point. They’ll do that because they know best.

But at some point, people start to ignore them. And they’re high on the list if cutbacks should ever hit the company, too.

Complainers have forgotten how to appreciate the small things in life.

They don’t realize that it’s difficult to get a new job and it takes much more time than it used to.

They don’t appreciate that they have a job.

Sometimes, chronic complaining can be a result of complacency. Since no one is listening to what the person says, it’s just easier to complain.

No company or situation is perfect, and sometimes it’s best when problems are out in the open. But there is a time and place for complaints and a correct way to air them.

If you have to complain offer up several solutions to the problem. That’s a productive use of complaining energy.

Call it problem recognition with applicable solutions.

There’s a critical difference between you and a chronic complainer. You appreciate your job or your situation.

Help the complainer

If you want to help a chronic complainer, point out the problem using a subtle approach. Instead of telling the person they complain too much, show them how to be grateful for the little things in life.

Remind them that you feel appreciative of the fact you have a job, etc.

Relate a story- may be about how your last job search was difficult. It took you months, and it made you realize that jobs are not easy to find.

Also, talk about how you appreciate your home life and your family and what it means to you. That’s a subtle approach.

The person may start to understand there is much to appreciate in everyday life. You can show that complaining is ineffective and may lead to problems down the road.

Aim to get friends and colleagues to relate to the same gratitude for work and family.

The chronic complainer may start to see it pays to be appreciative.

JohnK 4-2-2019

chiforyouself.com home

Overheard: “Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.”

~Proverb

Your Routine: Good, Bad, or In Need of a Tuneup?

March 19, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

We’re talking routine today. If yours is working for you, way to go!

If not, GenuLines is here to help you power up your routine

Your Routine: Good, Bad, or In Need of a Tuneup?

Routines are neither good nor bad. It all depends on the context by which you apply them.

If your routines are making you crazy, or have you in a rut, it may be time for you to break away from them, at least temporarily. Then again, if you don’t have some structure in your life, routines may be what you need.

If you’re feeling like you’re in a rut, consider going on a vacation. This can be a great way to reset the ordinary.

It can also lead to meeting new people or opening up opportunities. How many stories have you heard of people going on vacation and falling in love with the place they visited?

But keep in mind that making the new place your home can result in still more routine. Another way to shake things up is to join a club that you wouldn’t otherwise join.

For instance, if you never tried a certain type of craft, join a local club where you can learn all about that craft. Or, join a group that plays music together.

You may have to learn an instrument or try out with the group as the singer. No matter what the activity, try doing it in a different way.

If your life is a bit unstructured, and this isn’t working for you, try to introduce some routine into your days. This could be as simple as creating a to-do list.

And you might want to find someone who can hold you accountable to the routine. People form accountability partnerships for this purpose.

You can hold your partner accountable for reaching their outcomes.

Many people find having a mix of routine and spontaneity works best for them. Doing something spontaneous helps to break up the routine before the people get into a rut.

Getting back to those routines after taking a break will restore order in their lives. This isn’t necessarily the way everyone will work best, though it’s worth a try.

Make sure you give yourself some time before writing this off.

Only you can decide whether you need to incorporate a routine or if you have too much routine in your life.

Remember, you’re the only one who can determine if you need to do a mix of routine and spontaneous action.

JohnK 3-19-2019

chiforyourself.com home

Overheard: “It’s a hard thing to leave any deeply routine life, even if you hate it”

~John Steinbeck

Action Steps For When You Don’t Trust Yourself

March 12, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

Many people don’t trust themselves for one reason or another. If you include yourself in this group ask yourself why.

Today GenuLines helps you break the issue down and begin to change. Once you discover the problem, you will be well on your way to learning how to trust yourself.

Action Steps For When You Don’t Trust Yourself

Start with your childhood. No, this doesn’t mean you have to spill your guts to a shrink while lying on a couch.

Those early years can give you some clues into why you don’t trust yourself. Could be your parents were distrustful of themselves.

Siblings or other relatives might play a part. The purpose isn’t to blame them.

Recognize that it happened and use it to move forward.

Not trusting others can be habitual. It isn’t too much of a stretch for that mode to extend to you.

Start putting trust in other people and they’ll likely appreciate you for it.

Are you an overly sensitive person? If so, this could cause you to be mistrustful of yourself.

A sensitive nature can cause you to take others’ remarks out of context.

It’s not wrong to be sensitive. You only have to realize that it can cause you to misread what others are saying or feeling.

When trust doesn’t work

Putting your trust in others is going to backfire sometimes. Some people aren’t trustworthy.

They may even put on a front that they are. You should accept this as a part of life, and try not to project experiences from a few onto other people.

Otherwise, you are going to continue to maintain your wall.

This wall will make it difficult for you to trust others as well as yourself.

Another reason for not trusting yourself is that others don’t trust you. If you are not trustworthy, how can you expect to trust yourself?

You may not even realize this is happening.

You may think you are doing right by others when in fact, you aren’t. Ask friends and family to assess whether you’re trustworthy.

That can be a hard pill to swallow, but you’ll get great insight. Try not to get upset if people tell you that you aren’t trustworthy.

It’s a learning experience.

JohnK 3-12-2019

chiforyourself.com home

Overheard: ” Seize the day, and put the least possible trust in tomorrow”

~Horace

New Year Greetings and Gratitude From GenuLines and Chi For Yourself

January 1, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments

The new year of 2019 is here!

A good time to thank you for choosing GenuLines and Chi For Yourself.

Also a good time to send you “good chi” toward living your Genuine Life.

All the best!

JohnK 1-1-2019

chiforyourself.com home

Failed To Reach A Goal? Move On And Learn From It!

December 20, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments

So your goal(s) for 2018 failed. You’re looking for a better 2019.

But you’re not really sure how you’ll do it. Maybe it’s how you’re looking at it.

Today GenuLines looks at failure and offers some ideas on how to re-frame it.

Subscribe to GenuLines- get CHI FOR YOURSELF guest information and more!

____________________

Failed To Reach A Goal? Move On And Learn From It!

We tend to think of missing our goals as something shameful, undesirable. Failing to realize our intentions can cause negative feelings.

No matter how big or small the goal.

The way to overcome those feelings is by changing the way you understand failure. It’s part of the success process and it teaches valuable lessons if we know how to learn from it.

Ways to redefine failure and learn from it

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Learning from your mistakes is about more than just thinking about what went wrong.

The first step towards using failure as a tool for success is to stop seeing mistakes as shameful.

Think about it – a mistake is not only a natural part of embarking on a new project; it is also part of the human experience. Accept it as a necessary step towards achieving your goals.

In her article “Strategies for Learning from Failure”, Amy C. Edmondson classifies mistakes:

Preventable

These are the mistakes we often think of as bad. They result from a lack of focus or attention to the procedures needed to achieve the goal.

Complexity-related

These mistakes happen when the goal is the product of various factors. They include:

your own motivation

previous skills

your environment

support network

your resources

If any of these fail, you might be unable to reach the goal.

Intelligent mistakes

According to Adam Mendler, having the freedom to make mistakes increases creativity. And it boosts work performance.

Mendler looks at the pressures to avoid mistakes and the shame that comes with them. Minus those, he found that employees contribute more often.

And they’re able to express more original ideas.

For example, many inventors stumbled upon some of the great inventions. Think Post-It notes or penicillin.

There is a beginning step toward learning from the setback, whatever its source. Remove any negative feelings about it and re-frame it as a source of new knowledge.

What’s next?

Rethink your approach to your goal

Now that you’re looking at the mistake without judgment, think of how you got into the situation.

Guy Winch* suggests you analyze your motivation levels, focus, and mindset.

Did you feel less motivated to achieve your goal at some point? Did something else distract you from it?

If your dedication and focus decreased at any time, make note of it and try to find the cause. Identify the internal and external causes that affected your resolve.

This helps you prepare for them in the future.

At times you can discuss the failure with someone you trust. This might help you see the issues from a different perspective.

Rely on your support network to pinpoint what went wrong and how you could’ve prevented it.

Plan ahead

Identifying what caused the mistake is not enough to prevent it in the future. You need to take steps to prevent that mistake from happening again.

Say your goal was to write a novel in six months. You’ve identified a few reasons why you couldn’t achieve it.

They include lack of time, insufficient planning, or lack of motivation.

But what can you do to prevent those issues from getting in the way of your goal in the future? In our example, you could scale down the scope of the novel.

Spend more time planning the story. Or set a specific time to write undisturbed.

Bottom line?

Failure is not permanent.

“Accept” failure. Analyze its causes. And look at how you can by-pass those causes.

Now you’re on your way to achieving your goals.

JohnK 12-20-2018

chiforyourself.com home

Overheard: “The errors of great men are venerable because they are more fruitful than the truths of little men.”

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

* “The 4 Keys to Learning From Failure”- Guy Winch

* “What Sales Executives Can Learn From Failure”- Adam Mendler

Prioritizing: A Key Stress Management Skill

December 11, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments

We’re into a stressful time of the year, and prioritizing tasks may not be top of mind for you right now. But it’s worth thinking about, especially if the stress is really starting to build.

Since wellness is a high priority around here, GenuLines offers a tip “yule” be glad you used!

Subscribe to GenuLines- get CHI FOR YOURSELF guest information and more!

ARTICLE:

The skill of prioritizing can be a key tool in your ability to manage stress. It allows you to look at a set of tasks and determine which are the most important.

You’ll put your focus on completing those first at the expense of those lower on the list.

It isn’t about working smarter, it’s about dedicating your time to the correct tasks.

When you have a list of things to do you think that you won’t have the energy (or the time) to get through them all. So, a lot of it will get left undone and you’ll be left feeling guilty about what you couldn’t get to.

But when you take the time to prioritize them you ditch the guilt. You’re more efficient.

It seems as though there’s an 80/20 rule in every aspect of life and prioritizing is no different. In this case, the rule states that 80% of your activities contribute under 20% of your value of work.

Focus on completing 20% of your tasks (the most important ones of course). This way you’ll achieve more.

This should make your working life run a bit more smoothly and allow you to spend more quality time with your family (or yourself!).

The Trick To Prioritization

Well, there actually isn’t a trick. It’s all about choosing what you should be doing and what you shouldn’t be doing.

High priority tasks should be taken care of first. No doubt you’ll have more energy to do them at the start of your day anyway.

To achieve this, though, you need to be able to see what tasks or projects are of greatest importance. These jobs will help you achieve long-term goals, or have a consequence for not completing.

You might be thinking that everything on your list is important – they’re all urgent. But in the big picture many of the activities you consider urgent are not.

Good prioritizing lets you finish the most urgent/important tasks early in the day. Then you can shift your focus to the non-priority tasks.

These are more than likely the jobs you find most rewarding. It’s human nature to put off tasks that aren’t enjoyable and instead indulge your enjoyable tasks.

You can put tasks in order of importance to keep yourself on track or categorize them. The choice is yours and you should choose whichever method would serve you best.

You can have a list of A tasks, B tasks, and C tasks. Of course, anything in the A category should be completed first and then you can move onto the B’s and then the Cs.

While you make your list question yourself about tasks you can delegate or remove.

Wrenches In The Mix

What about unplanned activities? They can throw a wrench into the works. These types of tasks crop up all the time and often throw your day out of whack.

You have to rely on your instinct in these situations. When you’re better at prioritizing, you’ll be more confident making judgment calls.

But consider your goals and determine how best to fit in unplanned activities.

How effectively you handle these situations will depend on how clear you are on your goals.

JohnK 12-11-2018

chiforyourself.com home