Relationship break-up. You’ve probably faced it somewhere along the line. Maybe you’re going through it now. Our next scheduled CHI FOR YOURSELF guest had a bad experience with a relationship breakup.
But she faced her pain and challenges, even acknowledging what she did to contribute to the relationship’s failure.
Tatiana Jerome began to heal and move beyond a broken heart to a better understanding of what would make her happy, and, most of all, of the type of love she deserved.
Tatiana Jerome is the author ofLOVE LOST, LOVE FOUND: A Woman’s Guide to Letting Go of the Past and Finding New Love.
CHI FOR YOURSELF with guest Tatiana Jerome- Thursday March 30th at 4 pm Eastern, 1 pm Pacific time at chiforyourself.com.
Many people seem to have the mistaken idea that only a select few are able to unleash a steady flow of creative genius. This probably comes from the idea of ‘personality types’ that leads us to think our personality and style of working are set in stone.
That is not true at all. Our so-called personality type is simply a set of behavior patterns that we adopted in order to meet the different challenges of our early lives. Those behavior patterns can be changed.
Stressful times don’t exactly churn out happier people. But, CHI FOR YOURSELF knows that happiness is an inside job. You can bypass society’s noise if you keep some points in mind. These will help you get to your “happy place.”
7 Days To A Better Happier You
So what is the aim of personal development? To make you a better person, or to make you a happier person? Hopefully, it’s both.
One of the most important things to realize is that happiness is not something that other people bring you like a birthday gift. It comes from living in line with your own ethical values in a way that brings you closer to your personal goals.
So here are 7 steps you can take to bring you closer to happiness over the next week.
1. Know your purpose
Are you wandering through life with little direction – hoping that you’ll find happiness, health, and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.
This may seem tricky at first when you find yourself in a tight corner or facing a dead end. But identifying your purpose will help you to find the way out, even when it seems there isn’t one.
2. Know your values
What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for the year, check your goals against your values. If a goal doesn’t align with any of your top five values, you may want to reconsider it or revise it.
3. Know your needs
Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be heard, to be fed, to be loved in some way that is not being met right now? There are so many people who live their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed. List your top five needs and be creative in thinking of ways you could have them be met. It’s never too late!
4. Know your passions
You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm may hinder you, but need not prevent you from becoming the person you ought to be. Express yourself and honor the people who have inspired you to become who you are.
5. Live from the inside out
Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. At times it’s hard to even find the peace and quiet we want, even in our own home. You may choose to meditate, to walk in a quiet place or to sit and listen to gentle music. Silence does not necessarily mean no sound at all but it does require a certain inner silence.
6. Honor your strengths
What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List five of them – if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you recognize your skills and use them to teach or share with others.
7. Serve others
When you live authentically, you may find that you develop a sense of being connected with all forms of life. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you are expressing your spirit, your essence. At the same time, you are able to connect with the essential good in others. At this point, serving others is no longer a chore.
We can’t change others. We can only change ourselves and thus live more peacefully and happily with the circumstances of our lives.
This Day 5 of our “Get Things Done” series wraps up the week’s offerings. As promised there are some actionable steps, too. And some reading for you if you want to look further into this topic.
Your transformation is what CHI FOR YOURSELF is all about. So, use this information. And know that you’ll be seeing more in the weeks to come. If yousubscribe to GenuLinesyou’ll get these types of posts along with info on CHI FOR YOURSELF guests and show details. Just go to the top right side of this page and leave your email address in the box provided.
Be well!
TOP TIPS
Do you want to be more productive? The following tips are easy to implement and can help you increase your productivity immediately. Being more productive will help you achieve your goals and success more quickly.
9. Relax: This may sound counter-intuitive but relaxing does help increase your productivity! Learn how to relax and spend regular periods of time out during the day. This personal time will give you the opportunity to focus on yourself and your needs. They will lessen stress and anxiety.
10. Be an Early Riser: The most successful people tend to be early risers. They have discovered that by getting up earlier they not only achieve more in their day, the day
starts in a more controlled and productive manner. Use the time to meditate, exercise, read or learn something.
You can become more productive if you use the tips above. If you’re not sure where to start, then complete the action points below right now.
FURTHER READING
1. The Productivity Project: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345815777/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_i l_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=15121&creative=330641&creativeASIN=0345815777&l inkCode=as2&tag=chiforyoursel-20
2. Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00KWG9M2E/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin _il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=15121&creative=330641&creativeASIN=B00KWG9M 2E&linkCode=as2&tag=chiforyoursel-20
3. How to be a Productivity Ninja: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1848316836/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_i l_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=15121&creative=330641&creativeASIN=1848316836&l inkCode=as2&tag=chiforyoursel-20
4. Extreme Productivity: Boost Your Results, Reduce Your Hours: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0062188534/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_i l_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=15121&creative=330641&creativeASIN=0062188534&l inkCode=as2&tag=chiforyoursel-20
Ready for day 4 in our Get Things Done series? Today we quiet your environment and clarify your intentions. This can be tough to do given all the distractions that surround us. And it’s one reason why you’re getting these tips in “two’s.”
Keep in mind that on Day 5 you’ll have a total of 10 Get Things Done tips. You’ll also have several actionable steps you can put into place right away!
TOP TIPS
Do you want to be more productive? The following tips are easy to implement and can help you increase your productivity immediately. Being more productive will help you achieve your goals and success more quickly.
7. Remove Distractions: If you want to become more productive then you need to remove distractions. Turn off the television and your mobile phone, shut down all social media and email. Set a specific time aside each day when you can you use those things and for the rest of the time, you’ll be more productive as you won’t be constantly disturbed by messages and notifications.
8. Prioritize: Sort your tasks by importance. Do the most important ones first as they are the ones that will play on your mind the most if they are not completed. In business, those tasks that earn you money are considered to be the most important and should be given top priority.
I trust you’re having a good (and productive) week! “Get Things Done” is our theme for this week. Today you’re getting two more of the 10 tips to boost your productivity. A quick count finds that 4 more tips will be coming your way, giving you 10 in all.
You’re getting these as a kind of “drip feed” so you can put your full attention on each one. I like to say that what you think about is what you bring about!
TOP TIPS
Do you want to be more productive? The following tips are easy to implement and can help you increase your productivity immediately. Being more productive will help you achieve your goals and success more quickly.
5. Time Block: Identify when you are at your most productive. Are you at your best firstthing in the morning? Whatever time of day it is, schedule your most important tasks for that time.
Photo Courtesy Jan Willem Geertsma
6. Use an Accountability Partner: Make yourself accountable by telling someone else what you want to achieve. Make sure you give them a target date. Report your progress regularly. By making yourself accountable you are increasing your chance of success. You’ll also have someone to talk to should things go wrong.
Back with another couple of easy to implement tips to boost your productivity so you’ll get things done. We’re taking it slowly so you can think about each one- pretty easy to do on a cold, dark winter day!
As you put your attention on them you’ll keep yourself open for ways to carry them out. By the end of the week, you’ll have 10 tips in all.
TOP TIPS
Do you want to be more productive and really get things done? The following tips are easy to implement and can help you increase your productivity immediately. Being more productive will help you achieve your goals and success more quickly.
3.Delegate or Outsource: Having too much to do can hinder progress as you will focus on those items that aren’t getting done which will cause stress and anxiety. Wherever possible delegate or outsource anything that is inessential or that you are not interested in completing. Paying a cleaner to look after your housework will save you time, energy and stress.
4. Plan: You can’t achieve anything without knowing what it is you want to achieve. You need to know your goals. It’s also important to create a plan on how to achieve them. Set yourself daily goals and use a to-do list to help you identify what you need to achieve each day. Tick things off as they are completed.
We’re well into another year, and the big holidays are behind us. Days can feel longer, especially if you live in a colder climate and you’re looking forward to Spring. I know how that feels. I grew up in snow and ice in the industrial northeastern US. But you still have to get things done, both at home and in the workplace. How do you keep your focus on the tasks at hand?
This week GenuLines will suggest ways to stay in that “good energy” toward making it through the dark winter days and functioning at your best.
Starting today and all this week you’ll receive a couple of “reminders.” They’re designed to get your attention on simple ways to help your productivity, even when your mind checks out and wants to hang out somewhere in the tropics!
At the end of the week, look for some actionable steps you can put into practice right away.
TOP TIPS
Do you want to be more productive? The following tips are easy to implement and can help you increase your productivity immediately. Being more productive will help you achieve your goals and success more quickly.
1. Don’t Multi-Task: Focus on one task at a time. This will ensure that you are giving your full attention to what you are doing and increase your ability to utilize the power of the flow state. Use your to-do list and pick off one item at a time.
2. Stay Hydrated: Make sure that you drink water at regular intervals throughout the day. You can, of course, drink other beverages that contain water such as regular or herbal teas but don’t consume too much caffeine. Maintaining proper hydration will ensure that your brain and energy levels are optimal.
Since today is Valentine’s Day I want to remind you that “true love” is more than flowers and mushy cards. So we’re going to go back a few years for the CHI FOR YOURSELF interview with Dr. Debra Reble, who told us that happy relationships are the stuff not only of dreams but also of real life.
In this Chi For Yourself edition we heard of a provocative new model of relationship set forth in Soul-Hearted Partnership: Creating the Ultimate Experience of Love, Passion, and Intimacy, from longtime counselor Debra L. Reble, Ph.D.
The book intends to show how dreams of amazing relationships come true when individuals cultivate first a soul partnership with themselves and then a soul-hearted partnership with a loved one.
Unwilling to sacrifice their soul’s expression or look for a partner to complete or guide them, men and women of all ages and circumstances, Dr. Reble reports, are manifesting partnerships that foster their spiritual growth.
I’m old enough to remember the time when meditation got some rough treatment. It was seen as a practice for “hippie types” and health “nuts.” Meditation was considered, well, woo-woo! Today meditation is getting a much kinder reception as it proves its worth in areas like stress and anxiety reduction and addiction recovery.
This report takes some of the mystery out of meditation. It shows you how you can put meditation to work in your life.
Meditation refers to a state where your body and mind are consciously relaxed and focused. Practitioners of this art report increased awareness, focus, and concentration, as well as a more positive outlook on life.
Meditation is most commonly associated with monks, mystics and certain spiritual disciplines. However, you don’t have to be a monk or mystic to enjoy its benefits. And you don’t even have to be in a special place to practice it, although a quiet place is best. You can try it in your own living room if the TV is switched off.
Although there are many different approaches to meditation, the fundamental principles remain the same. The most important among these principles is that of removing obstructive, negative, and wandering thoughts and fantasies, and calming the mind with a deep sense of focus. This clears the mind of clutter and prepares it for a higher quality of activity.
The negative thoughts you have – thoughts of noisy neighbors, bossy colleagues, that parking ticket you got, or unwanted spam – are said to contribute to the ‘polluting’ of the mind, and shutting them out is allows for the ‘cleansing’ of the mind so that it may focus on deeper, more meaningful thoughts and ideas.
Some practitioners even shut out all sensory input – no sights, no sounds, and nothing to touch – and try to detach themselves from the commotion around them. You may now focus on a deep, profound thought if this is your goal. It may seem scary at first since we are all too accustomed to constantly hearing and seeing things, but as you continue this exercise you will find yourself becoming more aware of everything around you.
If you find the meditating positions you see in books and elsewhere threatening, you need not worry. The principle here is to be in a comfortable position conducive to concentration. This may be while sitting cross-legged or on a chair, standing, lying down, and even walking.
A good starting point is a position that allows you to relax and focus. While sitting or standing, the back should be straight, but not tense or tight. In other positions, the only no-no is slouching and falling asleep.
Loose, comfortable clothes help a lot in the process since tight fitting clothes have a tendency to restrict you and make you feel tense.
The place you perform meditation should have a soothing atmosphere. It may be in your living room, or bedroom, or any place where you feel comfortable. You might want an exercise mat or cushion if you plan to sit cross-legged on the floor. You may want to have the place arranged so that it is soothing to your senses.
Silence helps most people relax and meditate, so you may want a quiet, isolated area far from the ringing of the phone or the humming of the washing machine. Pleasing scents also help in that regard, so stocking up on aromatic candles or incense isn’t such a bad idea either.
The monks you see on television making those monotonous sounds are actually performing their mantra. This, in simple terms, is a short creed, a simple sound which, for these practitioners, holds a mystic value. You don’t need to perform anything like that. Focusing on your breathing is enough.
The principle here is focus. You do not have to try to control your breathing or anything else, just be aware of it. You could also try focusing on a certain object or thought, or even, while keeping your eyes open, focus on a single sight.
One simple routine is to silently name various parts of your body and focus your awareness on each. While doing this you can be aware of tension in any part. Mentally visualize releasing this tension. This can be very effective.
Studies have shown that meditation does bring about beneficial effects to the body. And there has been a growing consensus in the medical community to further study these effects. In all, meditation is a relatively risk-free practice and its benefits are well worth the effort (or non-effort – remember we’re relaxing!)
(The earlier version of the Mark Coleman post apparently had some audio player issues so let’s try it again!)
The CHI FOR YOURSELF interview with Mark Coleman is up and available for your listening. Mark made quite a life turn early on. He was a punk rocker who found mindfulness meditation and he’s stayed with it ever since.
Mark Coleman is the author of MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR MIND: How Mindfulness and Compassion Can Free You From Your Inner Critic.
Here are some talking points from the show:
Mark goes from punk rock to mindful meditation
Kids and social media
Helping parents recognize their children’s inner critic
Mindfulness and body image
Mindfulness and neuroplasticity
Click below to hear the interview. By the way, you’ll be getting some additional meditation tips by way of a GenuLines blog post in the days ahead!
Relationship break-up. You’ve probably faced it somewhere along the line. Maybe you’re going through it now. Our next scheduled CHI FOR YOURSELF guest had a bad experience with a relationship breakup.
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