You have the power to change many aspects of your life, but your skin isn’t one of them. That’s why it’s essential to get your head around being happy in your own skin.
Unfortunately this is often much easier said than done. GenuLines looks at a few ways you can learn to be happier in the body you have.
Accentuate The Positive
Write down all the things you like about yourself. Put the list in places where you’ll find them later.
These places could be on your mirror, in your wallet, or even around your desk at work. Then every time you see them, you’ll get a boost.
Quit Scrolling Social Media
Social media creates unrealistic expectations. You can you feel uncomfortable in your skin because of social media.
If so, it’s time to stop participating. Switch to books, music, and videos that are life affirming.
Work On Your Body Language
Believe it or not, your body language can play a huge part in feeling comfortable in your own skin. Catch yourself when you’re hunched over with your arms folded.
It’s time to walk with your shoulders pulled back, and your head held high. It’s a small change but it does affect your mood.
The Clothes You Wear
You may be wearing clothes that make you uncomfortable in your own skin. Aim to find clothes that fit you well.
Size is not the first consideration here. Rather, try on things that look like they will fit you and decide from there.
Being happier in your own skin is a lifelong journey. But remember that being comfortable in your skin is an inner game.
When you think of problem solving, what comes to mind? Or, What ideas or images pop up for you when you hear the words “problem solving”?
Most of us might see someone sitting at a desk or scratching their head and chewing a pencil.
We would approach these challenges in a gradual way. And we’d take a gradual approach to solving them.
In reality though, this isn’t always the case.
Often, we’ll have to solve problems in a hurry and, on the fly. And this is when things can get difficult.
Here GenuLines looks at why this ability is so important and what you can do to improve it.
Action Sports
The best place to study ‘rapid problem solving’ is in the world of action sports. This will include sports like snowboarding, surfing, racecar driving and others.
These involve last-minute reflexes and reactions. You might think that these actions are automatic and in the moment.
Even so you can still consider them forms of decision making.
For instance, it might be pure impulse to go around an obstacle. But you still need to think about which way around that obstacle you want to go.
This could include which route would be quicker. Or which has the most obstacles further on and which will make it easiest to balance as you travel.
The decisions you might face are countless.
In every-day life we make decisions like this all the time too – right down to knowing when to cross the road. So how can you improve this kind of decision-making process?
Flow States
The answer might lie in ‘flow states’. A flow state is a psychological phenomenon.
It lets you make rapid but accurate decisions.
The kinds you would otherwise not be capable of. During these states you’re completely focused on the matter at hand.
And your performance is flawless though you’re almost not thinking about it. The world seems to slow down, and you become untouchable.
It’s a lot like the zone you enter when you’re very focused on a work project.
The fuel for this state is a large number of neurochemicals. These include dopamine, norepinephrine, anandamide and endorphins.
It’s much like the fight or flight response (which tends to deaden creativity). Even so you remain relaxed and in control the whole time.
How to Get Into Flow
So how do you get into flow? The answer seems to be that you need to be completely focused on what you’re doing.
And this happens when you’re a) very passionate about it, or b) you believe your life is on the line. To be better at rapid decision making you need to be 100% present.
And as with anything, the best way to do that is to practice. Practice while doing things that mean a lot to you.
And look for your rapid decision making to improve!
Is Your Own Negativity Affecting Your Friendships?
You’ll find lots of information online about how to do away with negative friendships. But what if the source of negativity is coming from you?
It isn’t always easy to recognize when you’re being negative. Some people have no idea how their negativity is impacting others.
Today GenuLines looks at how your negativity could be affecting your friendships. We’ll also look at what you can do about it.
Are You a Negative Friend?
It isn’t always easy to see the negativity in ourselves. You can be unaware that you’re projecting negativity onto others.
So, how can you identify if you’re a negative friend?
Here’s a few signs to look out for:
You find it hard to maintain friendships.
You make plans knowing you’ll cancel them.
You don’t check in first or see how your friends are doing
Most conversations are about you
They don’t come to you for advice or support
Now, some of these signs may not be down to your own negativity. For example, you may not check in first with your friends.
This is because it always used to be you initiating contact. That alone would not make you a negative friend.
Many people find it hard to keep friends. Yet, if you generally find it easy to make friends and not keep them, there may be a problem.
Assess your friendships, including those from the past.
Is there a pattern, and could it be due to your negativity? Life gets busy and it isn’t always easy to keep in touch with friends.
But if you never contact anyone first, this is a sign you may be a negative friend.
Remember, friendships are a two-way street. Your friends need to know you care about them too.
The Impact Negativity Has on Friendships
So, why is it important to be a more positive friend? For starters, negativity can kill friendships.
Nobody wants to be around someone who always spouts negativity.
It brings down their mood, leading them to feel more depressed or drained after being around you. Another way negativity impacts friendships, is that it’s bad for the heart.
Studies have shown that negative friendships affect heart health. So, you could be impacting your friends’ health issues with your constant negativity.
These are only some of the problems you can cause if you are a negative friend.
When you bring negativity into your friendships, you won’t have strong relationships. Healthy friendships are important for our health and wellbeing.
So, if you do identify as a negative friend, now’s the time to start working on adjusting your mindset. It might not be easy; but, doing this will help you have much healthier and happier friendships.
Communication skills have always been a most important life skill. And there’s no sign of that changing anytime soon.
Excellent communication skills can help take you far in your career. And your personal life.
It’s easy to think that this skill isn’t important due to advancements in technology. But it’s even more important since we use so much tech to communicate and learn.
Speaking in a clear way that’s easy to understand is a valuable tool. You can work at and perfect this like any other skill, but you have to put in the work.
In this article, GenuLines explains why communication is such an important life skill.
Good Communication Skills Improve Your Social Life
It should be obvious that being a good communicator would help to improve your social life. It can help you with all sorts of loved ones, from friends to significant others to family members.
When you have good communication skills, you often also have good listening skills. You might find that you’ll have fewer disagreements, dramas, and fights, too.
Effective communication helps you express your feelings in a clear and concise way. People are less likely to take offense at what you say.
You’ll be more able to get to the source of your problems instead of letting them linger or spiral out of control.
Good Communication Skills Improve Your Professional Life
This is a key trait of successful people. It’s a feature of good leaders.
When you lead you’re responsible for getting across what needs to get done.
Good Communication Skills Can Make You a Better Person
You reach conflict resolution in an easier way.
This goes a long way toward improving your friendships and relationships.
More and more electronic communication brings disregard and neglect of our communication skills. There’s a sort of irony in that you need those same skills to succeed in electronic communication.
There are challenges to working on your communication skills. But they’re worth it.
The payoff is that you’ll improve your relationships, your career, and your life on the whole.
Develop Willpower And Self-Control- Change Your Behavior
Willpower and self-control are crucial ingredients for success. So, how can you develop each one to change your behavior and thought process for the better?
Mahatma Gandhi said, “Strength doesn’t come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will [power].”
Yet, what exactly is willpower?
Willpower is your ability to turn down and curb inner conflicts. These include short-term temptations to meet long-term goals.
Say you want to supersize your takeout order or smoke a cigarette. But, deep down, you know you shouldn’t.
Or it could come in the reverse. It could be something you know you should do, but keep procrastinating to avoid doing it. like going to the gym or filing your taxes.
When you reach this crossroads, that’s when your willpower kicks in. This instantaneous reaction stems from the prefrontal cortex (PFC).
This front part of the brain regulates behavior and decision-making abilities.
So, the first thing you need to do to develop your willpower is to keep your prefrontal cortex in good shape by:
Getting quality sleep each night
Eating a nutritious, well-balanced diet
Exercising 3–5 times a week
Managing stress
Can We Run Out of Willpower?
Experts say that we have a finite stockpile of willpower. You start your day with only so much and the more you use it, the faster you run out.
Take, for example, trying to control your temper on your way to work, at work, then on your way back home from work. You also use up your willpower when you try to ignore distractions.
Things like helping your kids with their homework. Or working out a compromise with your partner.
Our willpower gets worn out from all that repetitive use. Muck like our actual muscles do.
How to Develop Your Willpower
Check out these tips to increase your reserve of willpower.
Learn breathing techniques
Practice daily affirmations
Meditate each day
Focus on what’s important now by postponing what you shouldn’t do for later
Limit your intake of addictive substances, like alcohol and nicotine
Self-Control
Self-control the “restraint exercised over one’s impulses, emotions, or desires.” It works side-by-side with willpower.
When you practice self-control, you direct your willpower toward the outcome you want.
This means that at times, you’ll have to not do something, like when you want to eat healthy and pass on the supersize meal. It also means that there will be times when you have to put in a conscious effort to do something.
Like building good habits or getting started on those taxes.
Ego Depletion
And, as with willpower, it’s also finite. So each time you use self-control, your power to make sound decisions diminishes a little.
This goes on until you start again the following morning. This is what experts refer to as ‘ego depletion’.
It happens because you spend most of your time trying your best to focus on making decisions and exerting your willpower.
So, it’s no surprise that by the end of the day, you feel depleted and exhausted. And your thinking becomes incoherent.
You’re less able to make choices you won’t regret in the morning.
How to Develop Self-Control
You can improve your levels of self-control and reduce the impact of ego depletion. Many of these ways rely on the same techniques used to boost your willpower. like getting good sleep and managing stress.
Others are a bit different. Take a look:
Learn how to regulate your emotions.
Practice self-compassion.
Become aware of your wants and needs to direct energy toward self-improvement.
Be efficient in managing your time and energy more.
Create short and long-term goals to stay motivated.
If you could be more of one thing, what would it be? Do you wish you were more decisive?
Do you feel like changing your mind too often is a nasty habit?
There are times when a change of mind is appropriate, but… do you do it too much? There might be something in that.
Generally, the decision-making process is to review the information at hand. This makes sure you’re prepared and informed.
And it allows you to make the right decision, right?
That’s the idea.
Not all decisions are quite as cut and dry as that. When you make a decision, you may find yourself doubting your decision.
You second guess yourself. You feel like an unprepared flake.
And you worry that people see you as undependable. We all go through periods of indecisiveness.
It’s something that we all do in degrees. As in, you may cancel plans because you changed your mind about meeting someone.
You could change your mind about your chosen career. Then, you beat yourself up about the change of heart.
You did so much work and then went off in the opposite direction. There’s no shame in changing your mind.
The habit of second-guessing yourself is the real problem. So it’s less about indecisiveness and more about inability to trust your decisions.
If you have the ability to reassess a situation and change your decision, that’s a positive. There’s a major difference between being flexible and being indecisive.
Most of us fall somewhere in the middle of flexibility and indecisiveness.
The Differences
You may look at your habit of changing your mind a lot as frustrating. But it may show that you’re curious and more aware than others.
You aren’t afraid to admit that you made a poor decision and change course.
What you can’t do is control your impulse to change your mind. It might be a relationship, your career or a course at college.
Sticking with it… might be wasting your time and leaving you discontented with life. The ability to admit you were wrong suggests that your character is one of strength.
It might lead you to a place of contentment.
You may go back and forth, but aren’t you making more progress than if you were to have stayed standing still? One of the biggest reasons we change our minds too often is we worry about what other people think.
For example, your parents may have an expectation for your life. You might feel as though you’re on the wrong track, but you keep at it because you don’t want to disappoint them.
Sure, it may disappoint them if you stop your progress and change directions. That will only be temporary, though. At their core, they want you to be happy.
You may worry about letting others down if you chase your dream or skip out on a job. Your happiness is your own, though.
So, don’t concern yourself with what everyone else thinks about your decisions.
Few people have it all worked out and that’s okay. And people don’t think as much about your decisions as you’ve convinced yourself they do.
Don’t ignore your gut
If you have a nagging feeling about a decision, it’s not too late to make a change even if you’ve already made the decision.
Don’t be afraid to change your mind, Even if you believe you do it too often.
Changing your mind is a strength of your character, not a weakness.
Criticism never feels good. It has the sting of judgement.
As though you’re not good enough no matter how hard you try. Most people’s reaction to criticism is to get defensive, make excuses, or blame someone else.
None of those options are especially constructive.
It’s up to you how you choose to react to criticism. You can see it as a personal attack, or you can appreciate it, get the positives out of it, and move on.
You may feel skeptical about criticism having any benefits. So GenuLinesoffers you some excellent reasons to pay attention to it.
Use Criticism for Personal Growth
Often, criticism has more than a grain of truth in, even if it’s delivery is a bit harsh. That’s partly why it makes you uncomfortable—deep down it rings true, even if you don’t want to admit it.
Think of criticism as another element in your personal development toolbox. One that offers insight you might otherwise miss.
If nothing else, observing your reaction to criticism can pinpoint your problem areas. Things like triggers, your unconscious reactions, and assumptions.
Develop Emotional Resilience
Criticism usually comes laden with emotions. You feel shamed, upset, and attacked.
Learning to embrace criticism can strengthen your emotional resilience. You sit with your uncomfortable emotions instead of choose a knee-jerk reaction.
Practicing detachment takes you to a mental place. One where you can use your problem-solving skills.
You can listen, assess, analyze, and work out what lessons to take away from the experience.
You’ll be less likely to need other people’s approval to feel good about yourself. Once you see that criticism can be helpful feedback, it stops being a judgment of you as a person.
Improve Relationships
Once you stop reacting (or overreacting) to feedback, you allow more space for openness. You’re more honest, and you’re a better communicator.
People can talk to you about problems without feeling they have to walk on eggshells.
Embracing criticism makes for much better relationships. There are fewer barriers or ‘no go’ areas.
You don’t want to come off as too sensitive, difficult, or defensive. Nor do you want to have your self-worth depend on other people’s good opinion of you.
Boost Self-Confidence
Embracing criticism will free you from the curse of perfectionism. You can accept that making mistakes is human.
You’ll see that it’s actually okay, even helpful. Accept that criticism is part of everyday life and you’ll be more confident, happier, and freed up to be your best you.
Motivation is a very useful tool . And GenuLines will help you produce it on your own by using physical and mental techniques.
It can come from a thought process that encourages positive energy.
You can do this in many different ways. But motivation can be a difficult thing to muster up if your physical body and mind are not in the right place.
We’ll start by looking at ways to sharpen motivational skills.
Get Your Mind In The Right Place
Your mind has a lot to do with how you feel about any situation. And you can think your way into a motivational mindset. So here are a few tips for getting your mind on the right path::
Write down your negative thoughts and the things that you need to improve
If you experience depression or anxiety, get it under control by seeking help
Feed your mind on a daily basis by reading or listening to positive content
Take Action!
You’ve got to take action if you expect to feel motivated to do anything.
Why, you ask?
In your body dopamine triggers feelings of motivation to do something. When you feel pleasurable sensations it kicks up your energy.
This means that when you do things, you feel a certain way about them. And you have this release of dopamine that contributes to your actions.
This can cause problems from motivation and energy to addiction to a feeling.
Know What You Really Want
Sometimes you feel as though you have to do something. But things change when your focus is on what you feel you must do.
This is the thinking that can power your life with more energy.
It’s crucial for motivation. You’ll motivate yourself and those around you.
Take Care Of Your Body
Without a healthy body, you’ll find it very difficult to have a healthy mind. Your actions and energy will determine whether your motivational habits will be sustainable.
A healthy diet and enough exercise are very important. Body and mind health work together to promote general health.
Find Someone Who Has The Same Goals
You can feed off of the energy of others. And it works both ways.
You can provide them with the tools to motivate themselves.
Are You Ready To Get Motivated?
Take action today. Be in control of your motivation.
Remember “perfect practice makes perfect.”
You won’t always feel motivated. But habits are the deciding factor in whether you can get things done even when you’re not motivated.
Motivation is something that we learn to develop over time. And over time you’ll see the benefits of sharpening your motivational skills.
It’s also the place where you’re likely the most dissatisfied with your life. When we stay in our comfort zone, we’re forcing ourselves to stay stagnant.
We’re afraid to change for fear of what could happen. Through habit our brains keep us safe so we stay in our comfort zone instead of facing the unknown.
Staying in our comfort zone though can cause problems as well. GenuLinesbrings you 8 reasons to question staying in your comfort zone.
Not reaching your goals
If you stay in your comfort zone, you’re less likely to follow through on reaching your goals. You’re procrastinating,
You’re making excuses that keep you from taking action toward your goal.
Lack of growth
Staying in your comfort zone will probably keep you from growing into more than you are right now. You’ll always be stuck, never going forward and never growing and changing.
You might end up not achieving your goals because you’re stuck. You’re doing things the same way you’ve always done them, even when you’re not seeing any results.
You don’t step out of your comfort zone to explore what you’re capable of doing or what you can do.
No or lost passion
Staying in your comfort zone makes it harder for you to discover your path. Expect to find your path outside your comfort zone.
Feeling left behind
Your colleagues and others you relate to seem to race ahead of you. They might have been behind you as far as your life or career.
But because they stepped out of their comfort zones, they’ve passed you by.
Settling for less
By continuing to live in your comfort zone you push yourself to settle for less than you desire. You put your passions or things you love aside.
Your self-confidence lags
While you’re stuck in your comfort zone, you don’t build the confidence you need to grow and take on new challenges.
Your health suffers
Sometimes when you’re not getting out of your comfort zone you aren’t taking care of your health either. It can be from fear of going to the doctor, or not wanting to change your routines.
Do you avoid going to the gym for some reason such as appearing or trying something different?
You’ll be unprepared for changes
You’re inflexible and set in your ways when you stick to your comfort zone. Life can be difficult, throwing all kinds of things at you.
Things can happen that will pull you out of your comfort zone even if you don’t want to. Staying in your comfort zone keeps you from being open to new possibilities.
The reasons we stay in our comfort zone are the same ones that we should be using to step out of our comfort zone. Staying in your zone may feel comfortable.
But don’t limit yourself to settling for mediocrity.
All the stress-reduction techniques in the world are of little value if you don’t find the cause of your stress. You could exercise until you pass out.
But if you still can’t make your mortgage payment, the problem still doesn’t go away. When you find the cause, you can take steps to help yourself reduce the stress.
Taking the example of not paying your mortgage, you want to find a quick solution. But, you don’t want to use a shady looking online loan service, for instance.
They charge very high rates with interest calculated on a daily basis.
Taking advantage of one of these services will increase your stress. And you’ll be stuck with a higher payment.
Work Problem?
Your stress may have something to do with a coworker. Let’s say they’re lagging behind in their work, and it’s bringing your whole team down.
One solution is to help the lagging member with his or her work. But, try to show them ways to get work done faster, so it doesn’t happen again in the future.
It could be that your procrastination on something important is a stressor. You need to reverse that right away.
The situation is likely to get worse. For instance, you’re letting a slow leak in your home keep building.
This is going to make it tougher to handle when it becomes a large leak. If you’re not capable of fixing the leak yourself, hire a professional.
In the above cases you would have dealt with the actual cause of the stress points. You could try meditating or getting involved in extreme sports.
Those will help reduce your stress to some degree. But, they wouldn’t do much to remedy the situation.
Dig Deeper
Find what’s causing the stress. Take actions based on that.
Now, stress reduction techniques not related to the cause can still help. They can help you relax, which can get you to think about solutions to the problem.
The techniques can also help to lower your blood pressure and heart rate. When you’re calmer, you’ll find solutions much quicker.
In most cases, you’ll be able to determine what is stressing you out. There are situations where you become anxious, and you are not sure why.
Do what you can to make that a temporary condition. Should it become more long-term, consider getting help before it gets out of control.
Overheard: “Happiness is not a goal… it’s a by-product of a life well lived”
Overheard: “Positive anything is better than negative nothing.”
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