You’re starting another week. Another week of decisions you’ll need to make. But somehow those decisions don’t get made.
It’s one of the more frustrating situations you (and those around you) can face. You can’t seem to make a decision and stick to it.
There can be many reasons why you lack the confidence to make decisions in your life.
As a child your parents may have made all your decisions for you. And you weren’t supposed to question them..
Or it could be that you don’t like the pressure decision making puts on you. You question whether you’re making the right decision. And you’re fearful about how your decision will affect others.
You may feel very anxious at the thought of having to make a decision.
Here are a few ways to recognize if you’re someone who lacks the confidence to make decisions:
You would rather have someone else make the decision for you –
Passing the decision-making process to another could show a lack of confidence.
You never make a decision –
Other people may be relying on you for a decision, but you let weeks or months slide by without deciding.
When you do make a decision, you second-guess yourself –
This is another demonstration of lack of confidence in your abilities.
Regardless of what led to an inability to trust yourself you can become better if you work at it.
Here are some ideas for improving your confidence and making good decisions.
Make an “unofficial” decision –
This is a decision that’s not yet set in stone. Make a decision, and live with that decision for a day.
For example, you’ve decided to upgrade to a bigger house, and you have the money saved up. You find a house that you really like that fits all the criteria you want in a bigger house.
It has a big yard, a deck, and an attached garage. But, you have trouble making decisions.
You may find that you try to talk yourself out of it. You begin to worry how you’ll afford it, the increased heating and cooling costs, and so forth.
This is where it can help to make an “unofficial” decision. You have to decide that you will or will not move.
Pick one, and live with that decision for a day. Convince yourself that the decision is a real one.
Then see how your decision makes you feel. This can be a good way to test decisions before making them official.
Knowing that you can still change your mind, if it doesn’t feel right, can be comforting.
Recognize decisions that are reversible –
For example, you’re having a tough time choosing a color of house paint. Start by picking some swatches. Then make a decision rather than fretting over the perfect color.
If you start painting and don’t like the color you can just reverse course and choose another color.
Ask yourself: what is the worst that can happen? –
Not all decisions are life altering. If you begin by making small decisions (like choosing which movie to go to) your confidence can grow as time goes on. You’ll be better positioned to make bigger decisions as time passes.
Write down the pros and cons of each decision you are considering –
It might help if you put your ideas on paper. List what you like and don’t like about them.
Seeing rather than only thinking about the options can make it easier to come to a decision.
Overheard: “To change a habit, make a conscious decision, then act out the new behavior.”