Tag Archive for Cynthia Gill

Down But Not Out: Feel the Feelings and Keep Going

Before we get to this week’s article I want to remind you of this week’s Chi For Yourself guest…

Boys are quickly falling behind girls in school, starting as early as the second grade. Academic research gathered in May 2012 revealed that student populations in U.S. colleges today are only 40% male, due in large part to poor grades earned throughout middle and high school (featured on GreatSchools.org). We will be talking to Cynthia Gill. She’s the co-author of Jump-Starting Boys: Help Your Reluctant Learner Find Success in School and Life.

Picture of Cynthia Gill

Cynthia Gill

Cynthia joins us on Thursday, August 22nd at 1pm Pacific Time. Again we plan to stream the interview via Google + Hangouts. You’ll see the screen on Thursday on the “Start” page of chiforyourself.com.

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Down But Not Out: Feel the Feelings and Keep Going

During a recent period of feeling kind of “blue” I was reminded of the waves of emotions that can roll through our lives un-anounced. These can range from the down days just mentioned to the darker depression-like moods. I dealt with those heavy feelings earlier in my life. I referred to those as “situational” since there were some troubling issues that had to be faced. When I ran a search on the definition of emotions I found : A natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. Definition 2 read: Any of the particular feelings that characterize such a state of mind, such as joy, anger, love, hate, horror, etc. The key word in the first example is ‘natural’.

Your first reaction might be to turn your feelings away. You might push the feelings down, put them on hold until later, or use distractions to get your mind off of things. You can deny them or indulge in them (often called wallowing). And there’s a cliche to match every situation- ‘I don’t have time to think about that now’, ‘It’s always something’, or ‘I’ll take care of it later.’ But what you’re feeling is neither positive nor negative. It’s all part of being human.
If your choice is not to experience intense feelings they could become embedded in your physical body. When they set up shop deep inside you they can have an effect on the way you look at the world. The worst case scenario is that they can be so troubling as to cause illness. This is a good time to monitor your thinking, too. One of my very favorite figures in the Human Development field is Louise Hay. She puts it this way, “The thoughts we choose to think are the tools we use to paint the canvas of our lives.”

You can bring out the feelings, front and center, to experience them in a safe and enriching way. When I feel the need to do this I pretty much drop whatever was planned for the day, if possible, and get to the feeling place. You may have a more demanding schedule, so how about a date- with yourself? Pick a safe, secure, and comfortable place along with a time when you can be alone. Start by remembering the circumstances that touched off the emotions you’ve been putting off. When you’ve stirred up the emotions let yourself FEEL them. Don’t block them. Cry if you feel like it. Let any thoughts that come up come through. And be gentle with yourself. This is not a good place to judge what’s happening.
Recognizing your emotions instead of pushing them away helps you stay emotionally healthy and goes a long way toward truly conscious living.

JohnK 8-19-2013

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Notes to Begin The Week: July 15, 2013

Well, if you were watching on Thursday you saw NO interview with Zen author Brad Warner. I wasn’t able to reach him, but I’ve asked his publicist to re-schedule us for another time.

Meanwhile, the Karuna Cayton interview on Buddhist Psychology is subbing for Brad Warner this week. I think of Karuna as my Buddhist ‘pinch-hitter’. Listen to that show here:


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Picture of Tony Burroughs

Tony Burroughs

 

We’re scheduled to hear from Tony Burroughs on July 25th. Tony is the author of Get What You Want:The Art of Making and Manifesting Your Intentions.

 

 

 

…and I’m expecting a definite August date for our interview with Cynthia Gill.

Picture of Cynthia Gill

Cynthia Gill

 

She and Pam Withers are the co-authors of Jump-Starting Boys: Help Your Reluctant Learner Find Success in School and Life. She talk about findings that boys are quickly falling behind girls in school, starting as early as the second grade.

 

 

 

Article

Today a look at finding peace..big job but somebody’s got to do it. That somebody can be you says guest blogger Connie Sears:

Some Tips About How To Find Peace

 

by Connie Sears

When one is not at peace with oneself, one will not be able to live life to the fullest. Consider what happens when you cannot concentrate on what you are doing or if you are always unhappy. This can have a profound effect on the quality of your life. It will be helpful to learn tips about how to find peace.

One of the simplest things you can do to promote such a feeling is to get rid of clutter. This can be pretty hard to do given the many tasks that have to be accomplished in a day. You must remember however that your home is your refuge from the outside world. Going to a clean and clutter free house will be a relief after a long day at work.

The surest way to achieve happiness and tranquility would be to figure out what you love and do it. Do not be afraid to go out there and explore. Be open to new experiences as this can give you valuable insights about yourself, other people, and the world. Hopefully, you can discover what you can do for the rest of your life.

One should be true to oneself. If you live to please all the people around you, then you will just be making yourself unhappy. Choose your own path but at the same time show some concern for social norms. Find that balance between making your own decisions and maintaining a healthy relationship with your friends and family.

The right attitude toward life in general is also a factor. When you think about it, you will have good and bad experiences. A lot of people take it very hard when something bad happens to them. It is important to remember that these things can happen. Accepting the duality of life will help you move forward.

It helps to look for ways to improve oneself. One way of doing so would be to identify your bad habits and to be willing enough to do something about it. You do not have to instantly change something. Take little steps. If you want to be more fit for example, start by taking a walk in the neighborhood instead of engaging yourself in an intense full body workout immediately.

Life can be very stressful so it is important to take breaks along the way. If you are at work, set aside some time for sipping on your beverage and relaxing. Time away from the computer should help refresh your mind. You can practice meditation or take up a new sport during your leisure time.

One must also remember to have positive thoughts. It is very easy to get stuck on the criticisms you have heard but mulling over this is useless. These will only serve to prolong the agony. When you find yourself remembering such experiences, start thinking about things that have made you happy.

The question of how to find peace is a question that has plagued many individuals. It is difficult to achieve a goal or feel happiness when you do not feel good about yourself. If you want tranquility, then you have to take steps to improve yourself and address all your needs.

About the Author:

 

 

JohnK  7/15/2013


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