Tag Archive for couples and relationships

Tips To Help You Start (or maintain) A Healthy Relationship

picture of john kobik talking relationshipsSpring is a time that tends to be associated with relationships. (Love is in the air, etc) And maybe it’s time for you to think about your relationship. Naturally, CHI FOR YOURSELF doesn’t look at relationships in the usual, greeting card kind of way.

 

Bringing a special person into your life (or keeping someone in your life) involves mindfulness. 

There are some simple but important points to keep your attention on when a relationship is on your mind. So CHI FOR YOURSELF has put together a brief report on relationships. It’s free and you can get it by clicking on this FREE STUFF link. 

 

Free Stuff
 

And watch for more helpful offerings from ChiForYourself.com! 

Problems with FREE STUFF button? Copy & paste link– https://www.payhip.com/b/jsmb

 

JohnK 4-11-2017

chiforyourself.com

 

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Your Relationship and Your SELF: And We Welcome Tatiana Jerome

picture of john kobik talking relationshipsYou may have noticed that our latest CHI FOR YOURSELF episode and recent GenuLines blog posts have been stressing relationships. Particular emphasis has been put on nurturing the “self.” 

CHI FOR YOURSELF wants you to have a special report on bringing love into your life. You can find the first chapter if you scroll down this page. You’ll get free access to the rest of the report in a coming GenuLines blog post. 

As for our latest episode of CHI FOR YOURSELF with Tatiana Jerome, you can hear it by clicking on the player–

 

 


 

picture of relationship author Tatiana Jerome

Tatiana Jerome

Tatiana Jerome is the author of LOVE LOSE, LOVE FOUND: A Woman’s Guide to Letting Go of the Past and Finding New Love.

 

 

 

Here’s a look at some of the takeaway points from the program:

  • Tatiana thought her relationship was fine
  • Knowing when it’s time to go
  • The relationship with your “self”
  • Actions are less important that patterns
  • Looking for love online
  • Attract rather than pursue

______________________________

 

Chapter 1: 
Basics of Attracting Love
Synopsis 
LoversSilhouette and relationships
For most people having a relationship that contains both respect for the other’s feelings and the ability to freely express affection would be important concerns.  
 
 
But with so many external pressures it’s often very hard to focus on creating the ideal relationship based on these two vital aspects.  
 
Making the intention to include this respect as part of your lives will give you the opportunity to maintain your relationship as one of meaning and purpose.  
 
 – # – 
The Basics 
 
Understand that making a conscious effort to create a healthy partnership is a good starting point. This helps each person involved to do their best to ensure the relationship has the potential for strength and longevity.  
 
This may at times leave you feeling that you’re going “the extra mile” for your partner. Consider it a good opportunity to sharpen your giving skills. 
 
Attracting love may require some initial physical and spiritual contributions on your part. The reassurance of compassion or empathy or a well-timed touch (tasteful, of course!) can go a long way toward tilling the soil of a fertile relationship.  
 
JohnK 4-3-2017
 
 
 
Clipart image of overheard man and relationshipsOverheard: “No road is long with good company.”
                      ~Turkish Proverb

 

 

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Introverts And Extroverts: Who’s More Confident?

 
 
 
When we think of introverts and extroverts, we might describe introverts as shy or antisocial and extroverts as outgoing. But this is not entirely accurate. Yes, some introverts may be shy, but being an introvert does not necessarily make you shy.
 
The real difference between introverts and extroverts is the location from which they get their energy. In other words, introverts draw their energy from and recharge by spending time alone in their thoughts. They still enjoy people. But they can find this draining and prefer quieter environments. Introverts prefer being with a few close friends. Extroverts, on the other hand, get their energy from being around others and often with large groups of people.
 
Extroverts tend to jump into things and talk out loud to problem solve while performing an activity. Introverts, however, think and reflect before taking action.
 
Although it would seem that extroverts are more confident than introverts, this is not necessarily the case. In fact, many extroverts and introverts feel the same way – apprehensive when in a new situation. Therefore, you cannot assume that just because someone is introverted, that he has less confidence than the extroverted person in the room.
 
Unfortunately, the outside world gives the impression that it’s better to be extroverted than introverted. We might even encourage this in young children. Most people have a combination of characteristics but are predominately one or the other.
 
So how can introverts demonstrate their confidence in a world that reveres extroversion?
 
1. Socialize for short periods
 
First of all, remember that there is nothing wrong with being introverted. However, there are times when you may find it’s necessary to get together with large groups of people.
 
An example of a situation where this might be necessary is your spouse’s holiday work party. You prefer quiet, small get-togethers with a few friends or a quiet evening of watching a movie. However, it means a lot to your spouse to have you attend, so the two of you decide to compromise – you will go, but only for a few hours. This means mingling and socializing with more people than usual. If you think it sounds like you have to be phony, that is not the case.
 
Consider this. If you’re feeling grumpy and you start smiling at everyone (the action), you soon start feeling happy (the feeling). It’s the same with this. Although it will feel weird at first, act like you enjoy mingling and socializing with a large group of people, and you will feel like you do.
 
Because you’re likely to be drained after several hours of interactions with others, plan to be there only for a short amount of time (ex. no more than three hours). Then you can go home where it’s quiet and you can recharge.
 
2. Don’t ignore people
 
Maybe you work as an accountant. It’s the type of position which might minimize interaction with others. However, parts of your workday may still involve human contact, as you have to interact with your receptionist or other employees. It would be a drain on your energy to act like an extrovert all the time when you’re at work. No one expects that, and it’s not realistic. But be a friendly and interactive introvert. Say “hello” to people you work with.
 
Ask them about their families, and offer information about yours. This allows your confidence to shine through too. People will respect you more and respond better to you if they feel that you’re interested in them. They’ll also see you as more approachable and they’re less likely to consider it weird when you say that you need to work alone or need some quiet time.
 
Another idea is related to lunchtime at work. You may not enjoy eating lunch in a group because you find that mentally draining. However, you may be able to compromise by spending ten minutes with the group, and the other 20 minutes on your own recharging. That way, people get to know the real you – the friendly, but introverted, person – and you still get quiet time to yourself to recharge before returning to work.
 
JohnK 3-27-2017
 

Lost Love, Found Creativity, and the Next CHI FOR YOURSELF

picture of john kobik on being happierRelationship break-up. You’ve probably faced it somewhere along the line. Maybe you’re going through it now. Our next scheduled CHI FOR YOURSELF guest had a bad experience with a relationship breakup.

 

But she faced her pain and challenges, even acknowledging what she did to contribute to the relationship’s failure.

Tatiana Jerome began to heal and move beyond a broken heart to a better understanding of what would make her happy, and, most of all, of the type of love she deserved.

Tatiana Jerome is the author of LOVE LOST, LOVE FOUND: A Woman’s Guide to Letting Go of the Past and Finding New Love.

 

picture of Tatiana Jerome

CHI FOR YOURSELF with guest Tatiana Jerome- Thursday March 30th at 4 pm Eastern, 1 pm Pacific time at chiforyourself.com.

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Many people seem to have the mistaken idea that only a select few are able to unleash a steady flow of creative genius. This probably comes from the idea of ‘personality types’ that leads us to think our personality and style of working are set in stone.
 
That is not true at all. Our so-called personality type is simply a set of behavior patterns that we adopted in order to meet the different challenges of our early lives. Those behavior patterns can be changed.
 
LIST OF CREATIVE IDEAS

 

JohnK 3-21-2017

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Susan Anderson Talks Abandonment on CHI FOR YOURSELF: Then and Now

picture of john kobikI’m sure you found last week’s interview with Susan Anderson helpful. She’s dedicated a lot of her working life on the subject of abandonment, and she’s felt so much of that pain herself! There are two interviews with Susan Anderson on this page:

 

picture of Susan AndersonThis interview was recorded this past Thursday (Aug. 25th) when we discussed THE ABANDONMENT RECOVERY WORKBOOK: Guidance through the Five Stages of Healing from Abandonment, Heartbreak, and Loss. In it Susan shares some of her tools for dealing with the pain of abandonment in a number of areas. If you missed the program you can hear it by clicking on the Blog Talk Radio logo:

Blog Talk Radio logo

Here’s a list of talking points from the show:

  • Abandonment defined
  • Susan’s dealings with abandonment
  • How abandonment affects social status
  • S.W.I.R.L.
  • Death, rage, and abandonment
  • How abandonment is similar to PTSD
  • Overeating as abandonment
  • What we can do to heal right now

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picture of Susan AndersonThis interview was recorded in 2015 and it deals with Susan’s book Taming Your Outer Child: Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment. Click on the Blog Talk Radio logo to be taken to the show.

Blog Talk Radio logo

 

JohnK 8-28-2016

chiforyourself.com home

The Week Ahead: Healing the Heart and Feeling the Passion

picture of john kobikIf you’re feeling the flood of feelings brought on by abandonment listen up! Our next CHI FOR YOURSELF guest makes her second visit to bring us tools and exercises intended to help you discover and heal underlying issues, identify self-defeating behaviors of mistrust and insecurity, and build self-esteem. Susan Anderson is the author of THE ABANDONMENT RECOVERY WORKBOOK: Guidance Through the 5 Stages of Healing from Abandonment, Heartbreak, and Loss.

Picture of Susan Anderson

Susan Anderson

She’ll be with us on Thursday, August 25th at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific time at chiforyourself.com

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man cryingThis week CHI FOR YOURSELF began a series on finding your passion. If you missed the post you can hear it by clicking on this player..

 

 

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woman pointingIf you haven’t done so make sure you sign up for updates from GenuLines. You can do that by putting your email address into the box at the top of the page!

 

 

…and, if you’re eating out this weekend- Choose whole grains over flour products. Something like oatmeal is more nutritious and has less fat than bagels, French toast, pancakes, or sugary cereals. For dinner, try a Thai or Chinese restaurant that serves brown rice rather than going for pizza and pasta.

 

Have a great weekend!

 

JohnK 8-19-2016

chiforyourself.com home

 

listener animationOverheard:

” ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

 

 

 

“Quiet Revolution”: Today on CHI FOR YOURSELF

picture of john kobikWe’re getting set for today’s CHI FOR YOURSELF interview with William Martin, author of  The Activist’s Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for a Modern Revolution.  Be with us at 4pm Eastern, 1pm pacific time at www.chiforyourself.com!

 

JohnK 6-9-2016

chiforyourself.com home

We “Do the Tao Now”: This Week on CHI FOR YOURSELF

picture of john kobikIt’s more than 2-thousand years old, but our next CHI FOR YOURSELF guest says it’s just what we need to make positive change in our troubled world.

The Tao Te Ching is known for its enigmatic wisdom and yet William Martin says Taoism’s simplicity can be subversive and its flexibility a potent force. Martin is the author of  The Activist’s Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for a Modern Revolution.

William Martin is our scheduled guest on this week’s CHI FOR YOURSELF. Be on the call with us Thursday, June 9th at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific time for a different approach to modern times. You’ll find us at chiforyourself.com.

picture of William Martin

William Martin

 

JohnK 6-6-2016

chiforyourself.com home

 

 

Clipart image of overheardOverheard:

“There is but one cause of human failure. And that is man’s lack of faith in his true self.”

~ William James

“Stop Being Lonely” (a how-to) and 2 CHI FOR YOURSELF replays

picture of john kobikHard to believe loneliness could be a reality for many of us given that we are sooooooo connected, followed, friended, and liked. But on our next CHI FOR YOURSELF we’ll hear from someone who specializes in helping lonely folks. In fact, Kira Asatryan has been there herself and she’s put her findings into a book called STOP BEING LONELY: Three Simple Steps to Developing Close Friendships and Deep Relationships. 

picture of Kira Asatrayan

Kira Asatryan

Join us on the call for CHI FOR YOURSELF and guest Kira Asatryan on Thursday March 24th at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific at chiforyourself.com.

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If you missed the last two editions of CHI FOR YOURSELF you can get caught up here…

picture of Dan MillmanListen as “Peaceful Warrior” Dan Millman talks about his book THE FOUR PURPOSES OF LIFE: FINDING MEANING AND DIRECTION IN A CHANGING WORLD. 

Start the player after you click here..

and..

picture of LeslieBeth WishDr. LeslieBeth Wish is an award-winning, nationally honored psychotherapist and author of her research-based book, “Smart Relationships:  How Successful Women Can Find True Love.”

 

Start the player after you click here..

 

JohnK 3-7-2016

chiforyourself.com home

 

stick figure of man

Overheard

“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.”
~ Mother Teresa

 

 

It’s a Love Thing! Today on CHI FOR YOURSELF

Just a reminder that today’s scheduled CHI FOR YOURSELF guest is Dr. LeslieBeth Wish. We’ll be talking relationships, but no flowers and candy here. We’ll look at intuition and it’s part in empowering you to make better choices!

picture of LeslieBeth Wish

Dr. LeslieBeth Wish

 

Be on the call today at 5pm Eastern, 2pm Pacific at www.chiforyourself.com.