Tag Archive for confidence

Boost Your Confidence by Making Better Decisions

You’re starting another week. Another week of decisions you’ll need to make. But somehow those decisions don’t get made.
It’s one of the more frustrating situations you (and those around you) can face. You can’t seem to make a decision and stick to it.
signpost toward decision
There can be many reasons why you lack the confidence to make decisions in your life.
As a child your parents may have made all your decisions for you. And you weren’t supposed to question them..
Or it could be that you don’t like the pressure decision making puts on you. You question whether you’re making the right decision. And you’re fearful about how your decision will affect others.
You may feel very anxious at the thought of having to make a decision.
Here are a few ways to recognize if you’re someone who lacks the confidence to make  decisions:
You would rather have someone else make the decision for you –
Passing the decision-making process to another could show a lack of confidence.
You never make a decision –
Other people may be relying on you for a decision, but you let weeks or months slide by without deciding.
When you do make a decision, you second-guess yourself –
This is another demonstration of lack of confidence in your abilities.
Regardless of what led to an inability to trust yourself you can become better if you work at it.
Here are some ideas for improving your confidence and making good decisions.
Make an “unofficial” decision –
This is a decision that’s not yet set in stone. Make a decision, and live with that decision for a day.
For example, you’ve decided to upgrade to a bigger house, and you have the money saved up. You find a house that you really like that fits all the criteria you want in a bigger house.
It has a big yard, a deck, and an attached garage. But, you have trouble making decisions.
You may find that you try to talk yourself out of it. You begin to worry how you’ll afford it, the increased heating and cooling costs, and so forth.
This is where it can help to make an “unofficial” decision. You have to decide that you will or will not move.
Pick one, and live with that decision for a day. Convince yourself that the decision is a real one.
Then see how your decision makes you feel. This can be a good way to test decisions before making them official.
Knowing that you can still change your mind, if it doesn’t feel right, can be comforting.
Recognize decisions that are reversible –
For example, you’re having a tough time choosing a color of house paint. Start by picking some swatches. Then make a decision rather than fretting over the perfect color.
If you start painting and don’t like the color you can just reverse course and choose another color.
Ask yourself: what is the worst that can happen? –
Not all decisions are life altering. If you begin by making small decisions (like choosing which movie to go to) your confidence can grow as time goes on. You’ll be better positioned to make bigger decisions as time passes.
Write down the pros and cons of each decision you are considering –
It might help if you put your ideas on paper. List what you like and don’t like about them.
Seeing rather than only thinking about the options can make it easier to come to a decision.
man making decisionOverheard:  “To change a habit, make a conscious decision, then act out the new behavior.”

                       ~Maxwell Maltz

3 Steps to Creating New Habits

Let’s talk about forming new habits. There are times in our lives when we want to create new and better habits for ourselves.
This could include getting into the habit of eating healthier. It might be drinking more water. Or it could be moving more and taking the dog for a daily walk. Or it could be work-related, or spiritual, or…
There are so many areas in our lives we can improve and make easier if we create new habits. 
Getting into the habit of doing something is often easier said than done. We seem to form bad habits without any effort, but getting into a “good” habit can be a little more challenging. 
arrows toward habits
We’ll break it down into a three-step process. This will make it easy to follow until you’ve internalized the new behavior and made it a true habit. You’ll do it without having to think about it. Like brushing your teeth. 
Decide What You Want To Do 
The first step is to decide what the new habit is. Be as specific as possible. Be bold. Don’t tell yourself you want to exercise more. Say something like “I will go for a 30-minute walk every single day.” Deciding what your new habit will be and committing to when and how you’re going to do it, is half the battle. 
Remind Yourself To Get It Done 
The next few days should be smooth sailing. You’re motivated and excited to get this done. Sticking to your new habit isn’t an issue. But a few days in you’ll notice that it’s easy to slip back into old habits. 
Say it’s raining and you’re not feeling like going out and walking. Or the hours in your day seem to be getting away from you. This is when it’s important to have a daily reminder. Set an alert on your phone or add the new habit to your daily to-do list for a while. 
Make It Part Of Your Routine Until It Becomes A Habit 
It takes some time before a new behavior becomes a true habit. Until then, a routine will work to your best advantage.
A routine will help you solidify the habit. This way you won’t have to spend a lot of willpower or rely on daily reminders. 
Make that daily walk part of your after-dinner routine. Or switch from grabbing a snack at the vending machine at work at 10:00 in the morning to packing a healthy snack. 
You can do this! Decide to create the new habit. Practice the routine until it’s second nature and you’ll be well on your way to forming a new good habit. 
JohnK 1-17-2018
Image for overheard for habit formingOverheard:  “Whatever ought to be, can be”
                     ~ James Rouse

Julie Loar And The Resurgence of Feminine Energy

It was the start of another year. 2011 to be exact. CHI FOR YOURSELF welcomed Julie Loar.

Julie’s the author of  Goddesses for Every Day: Exploring The Wisdom and Power of the Divine Feminine Around the World.” 




Listen to the interview by clicking on below..



JohnK 1-13-2018

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5 Tips For Achieving Success With Confidence

Achieving success can help you feel more confident. It’s not the boldest statement. But CHI FOR YOURSELF has a different way of looking at things like success and confidence.

Business successOur idea of success is not realized with new cars, houses, or loads of money. 

Today we’ll look at some ways to help you get the confidence you need to realize what you know to be true success:


Be true to yourself
Your values and belief system must be very much in place if you want to achieve a success coupled with serenity.

Don’t let your success come in ways which compromise your genuine self. It’ll be a success built on sand rather than solid ground and may crumble and fall with time.

Trust in your abilities
You may have much to learn before you can succeed in a chosen field or path. Think of all that you’ve achieved so far and challenges you’ve already worked through. Trust that you can do more.

Don’t dismiss what you’ve learned so far in life. You might think it was easy and that anyone could do it, but others may see it as remarkable and see you as an example.

Use your subconscious mind
Repeat positive affirmations and side-step negative thoughts. That builds strength for your subconscious mind. 

You can train your subconscious mind to carry out your intentions. That makes a real difference in how you and others see yourself.

Avoid letting negative thoughts creep in and gain control. That will cause you to doubt your true abilities.

Use correct body language
Watch your posture, stance, and your general body language. It can be powerful when dealing with others and expecting a great outcome.

Remember when your mother used to tell you to sit up straight? Good advice! It sends a far different and more positive message than slumping.

Study body language and begin to practice it.

Enter a room with your head held high and walking like you own where you are and how you present yourself. People will take notice in a positive way.

Pay attention to your personal look
Never present yourself as unkempt and looking wrinkled and ungroomed. That image isn’t one that reaps success.

If this is an area of your life where you lack skills, seek the help of others. Develop a style you’re comfortable with. One that fits the image you want to present.


JohnK 1-8-2018
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Image for overheard for successOverheard:   Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
                            ~Samuel Johnson




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Fear Strikes Out: Getting Around the Wall of Worry on the Way To a Genuine Life

Little girl peekingIt’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, much like many along Pacific Coast Highway. Pelicans glide near the surface of the ocean while gulls let out a sort of shrill encouragement nearby. Yet I’m feeling a bit uneasy as I make my way toward my dental appointment. Now, I’m no coward but I’m wondering ‘what if?’ What if this time I’ll need extensive work? It’s happened before. What if that work leaves me with a big bill? Been a while since any work was done. Am I due for a surprise?

Fear. It can stop you cold, give you what athletes call ‘jelly knees’, and steal your ability to make smart decisions. It can rob you of rational thinking and even turn you into a shadow of your real self. And all because of a perceived threat. Feeling threatened is not the same as an actual threat. But how can you tell? Do you face real danger or do you advance confidently?

Fear of uncertainty can leave you too frightened to take the path you really want to take. You can freeze at a bad time and not take to the road you must travel. It can be a helpless feeling and one that could leave you playing the victim.

Fear, real or not, can play a big part in how and if we respond and in who we become. There are countless stories of people who’ve let fear get the upper hand, even if only for a short time. That fear takes on an air of paranoia when their judgement is colored by those who are ‘out to get’ them. It’s a bit over the top but that’s the power of fear brought on only by perception.

Who are you becoming? Who is that person you call your self? My own belief is that the combination of listening to the faint inner voice and thinking rationally can turn back even a natural fear. It may require getting past the perception of whatever you’re facing. This will go a long way toward keeping you on target to living genuinely.

Oh, the dentist appointment? Got a checkup, a cleaning, and a reminder to ‘keep up the good work’.


Image for overheard

Overheard: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

– Margaret Mead


JohnK 2-20-2013

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