Tag Archive for The Secret

Stress Relievers – Tips For Dealing With Everyday Stress

August 30, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments
 
No stress signEveryday stress can take its toll. It can become chronic, And it’s important to deal with it in a healthy way. 
 
Below are some tips for relieving everyday stress:
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Prayer, guided meditation, and imagery –
Experts say that 10 to 20 minutes of prayer or meditation each day can help reduce stress. Guided imagery also may be helpful, and can be included with prayer or meditation.
 
You can find websites with stress-relieving images. And there are other sources for guided imagery online and at your library.
 
Or you could see a professional who can guide you through the imagery or meditation.
 
Take an art class –
Art therapy has been shown to help with stress relief. Being able to channel the internal emotions into an art medium can be very therapeutic.
 
Go easy on yourself –
Don’t engage in self-criticism. Repeat your mantra; say your prayers, meditate. or whatever you need to do to silence the “you’re not good enough” voice.
 
Learn to take a timeout –
When you’re stressed, you may be more prone to angry outbursts. Learn to take a moment for a timeout before responding to something that angered you.
 
Be unavailable –
Sometimes it can be very stressful to feel like you always have to be there for others. At some point, it’s important to turn off your telephone(s) and close your email.
 
Just be there for yourself. You can even choose a regular time to do this.
 
Tell your friends and family in advance. This way they’ll understand why you’re not answering your phone or email.
 
Breathe deeply –
By themselves, meditation and slow, deep breathing may help to relieve stress. Deep breathing also may help remove toxins and relax muscles.
 
It’s also said to calm the mind.
 
Don’t set the stage –
Without meaning to, you might be setting the stage for everyday stresses. For example, if you don’t maintain your car, it may break down at the worst time.
 
Not taking care of your nutritional needs or your health can make trouble, too. Getting sick can really add to stress, especially trying to make up for the time lost after you get better.
 
Keep a healthy perspective –
Sometimes everything seems important and must be done right now. This is a recipe for overwhelm.
 
Try to keep a healthy perspective on things.
 
Remind yourself that a situation, decision, or “moment” may not really matter ten years from now.
 
JohnK 8-30-2018
 
 
 
man talking stressOverheard: “Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.”
 
                             ~Hans Selye
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

You Can Live Within Your Means

August 21, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments
living expensesLiving within your means is not as difficult as most of us make it out to be. It takes some discipline but it can be well worth the effort.
 
At the very least, you’ll be able to sleep at night knowing you aren’t burdened with a heavy debt load. If credit card debt is your weak point, take the scissors to those cards.
 
 
 
In fact, cut them up and cancel the accounts. This is the surest way to make sure you don’t get yourself into trouble by spending more than you make.
 
 
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Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses. You know this tendency.
 
Your neighbor always seems to drive a new car. And, always buying the latest and greatest gadgets. That doesn’t mean you have to follow along.
 
What you might now not realize is that your neighbors aren’t living within their means. They could run into trouble if they have the wrong money mindset.
 
The interest on credit cards can be wicked. If you’re saddled with debt you could considering consolidating it.
 
This will give you one lower payment.
 
But don’t use credit excessively after you’ve refinanced. Otherwise, you’ll make the situation worse.
 
If you can’t get a consolidation loan, consider hitting up your family for a loan. This is not ideal since it can cause tension in the family.
 
But, it’s better than having huge interest charges added to your balance each month.
 
Show your family members an honest effort to pay them back. And do your best to pay them back quickly.
 
Living expenses don’t let up. For instance, when appliances break down you’ll have to replace them.
 
So you should always set aside some money each month as an emergency fund. Try to accumulate six months worth of cash for this.
 
For high ticket items that aren’t needed right away, consider using layaway plans. Retailers are bringing back this feature.
 
They know that some of us are overextended with consumer debt.
 
Look for quality when you’re shopping for necessary items. Look for the highest quality you can afford.
 
Over time quality usually outdoes low price and that can help keep you within your means.
 
JohnK 8-21-2018
 
 
 
 
 
man talking living Overheard: “There is no dignity quite so impressive, and no one independence quite so important, as living within your means.”
                           ~Calvin Coolidge
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Are You Afraid of Failure?

August 16, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments

man a failureIt’s possible to be so afraid of failure that you’ll do everything imaginable to avoid it. You avoid taking chances because if things don’t work out you’ll look like a failure.

What’s worse, you constantly see successful people portrayed in the media. You think they must be either geniuses or naturals at what they do.

 

 

But if you look a little closer at these people’s lives you see a different picture. Their success often came after failures- sometimes lots of them.

 

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Failure is a great tool for figuring out what not to do the next time around. If something you tried didn’t work it’s no reason to give up on your project.

Use the experience as a road-map to reevaluate what went wrong and to adjust to try and make it work.

Sometimes, you may need some help since you won’t know why what you tried was a failure. In this case, it may be worth it to find a mentor who can look at what you’re doing and help you to get back on track.

This may cost you some money upfront. But good mentors are really worth it if they can produce results for you.

You might be prone to do things all by yourself. But influential people can be a big help.

Start with a search of biographies of famous people and what it took them to get where they are.

You can read about their accomplishments. And you’ll get a good idea of how they handled their setbacks.

Speaking of setbacks, those have a side benefit. They show others your tenacity.

With your continuing trouble-shooting and good attitude you’re primed for success.

Setbacks are a fact of life. Sometimes alternative measures are in order. Like a side job, for instance.

Focus on what works and scrap what doesn’t. You’ll keep heading in the right direction and you’ll learn new and important things, too.

If you use failure as a learning tool you’ll never stop learning. You’ll see improvement in most off of your life’s efforts.

It’s a simple formula. 1) Read about successful people. 2) Pay attention to what they do to succeed. 3) Put the same habits into your life.

It’s really a case of success begets success.

JohnK 8-16-2018

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man talking failureOverheard: “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”

~Truman Capote

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Ways to Slow Down the Aging of Your Brain

August 8, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments

You’ve heard a lot about how brain function declines as you age. But science is finding that aging doesn’t have to dull your ability to think for yourself.

In fact, studies are showing that you can get smarter in your later years!

Chi For Yourself is big on the mind/body connection. And the following article offers some gentle reminders to help you keep that connection intact.

 

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ARTICLE:

 

Man explains brainYour brain is central to your thoughts and memories. Same goes for your behavior, judgment, reasoning, mood, and so much more.

So it’s critical that you do all that you can to slow down its aging process.

 

 

Here’s a look at some ways to help you do that.:

 

1. Don’t smoke –

There are so many reasons not to smoke. Another one to add to the list is the negative effects it has on your brain.

Smoking increases the development of atherosclerosis. That’s a big word for plaque buildup in your blood vessels, including those in your brain.

This plaque buildup then reduces the amount of oxygen getting to your brain cells.

2. Exercise your brain –

As an adult, you’ve learned how to create routines and methods of remembering things. But, you can get stuck in a rut of using your mind in the same way that requires little effort.

Your brain is made of many different neural pathways. and when you don’t change things a bit, your brain isn’t given the opportunity to exercise itself.

Your brain is amazing in that it can create new neural pathways, and adapt as you stimulate it. Stimulation of the adult brain builds and strengthens these pathways.

Ways to do this include learning new things.

For example, you want to build a website but you don’t know how. As you learn to do this you challenge your brain.

If you’re into music you can learn a new song. If music doesn’t do it for you think about learning a new language.

Most anything that will stretch your mind is a great way to exercise it. You can even take a different route home from work.

This will force you to use your mind as you plan which street to take next.

3. Eat a healthy diet –

Limit saturated fats and trans fats in your diet. Also be sure to cut down and limit your consumption of sugar.

Consuming quality calories can help keep your weight in check.

Studies show that cutting calories can slow your brain’s aging over the years.

Be sure to eat a variety of fruits and vegetables of all colors.

They’re full of antioxidants that fight free radical damage. Free radicals are responsible for cell aging.

Vitamins like B6 and B12, along with folic acid, are real standouts. They go a long way toward stalling age-related brain disease.

4. Exercise your body –

When you exercise, you increase blood flow throughout your body and your brain.

Try exercises that test coordination and concentration. Things like martial arts, aerobics or dance classes.

5. Visit your doctor and optometrist –

High blood pressure can affect brain health. It’s a condition that can lead to mini strokes and cognitive decline.

Both your doctor and optometrist can detect the potential for problems early on.

JohnK 8-8-2018
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man talking brainOverheard: I consider that a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.
                     ~Arthur Conan Doyle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stop Letting Stress Impact Your Life

August 2, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments
 
Stress is a normal part of everyday life. Some level of stress is even healthy.
 
It can help you stay alert and function at your best. But you may have a tough time managing your stress.
 
Some stress disorders are hereditary. They can be due to imbalances of the chemicals used in mind/body communication.
 
The mind and body can disagree on what makes up a threat. This can be stressful, too.
 
Maybe you’ve survived an accident, combat, or something on the same level. You could have a hard time adapting to life outside of high-stress levels.
 
Whether it’s from personal concern or diagnosed disorder, stress shouldn’t control your life. But if it does there are actions you can take.
 
These tips can help supplement advice from a medical professional. Note that they’re not intended to be a substitute for professional help.
 
 
stress sign
 
 
Talk To A Friend
A friend can help you remember that stress is not unusual or that it only affects you.
 
A study by the National Alliance on Mental Health looked at severe stress. Things like anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder.
 
It found that more than 18 percent of American adults were affected. That’s close to one in five people.
 
Knowing the statistics may ease your mind about talking to a healthcare provider. And it may also help you to feel more comfortable talking to a friend or community member.
 
Casual talk might yield some advice on how to deal with stress. It can also give you an idea of how serious your condition might be- or not be.
 
Focus On Life Before Your Stress Problem
Stress can come on in a gradual way due to life changes. Or it can be sudden due to an incident or experience. Either way, you shouldn’t let it stop you from doing things you enjoy.
 
It’s natural for stress to make new things seem scary. But they can also have this effect on activities you’ve had in the past.
 
For example, the onset of stress may cause you to stay away from old friends. Or, a car accident may cause you to avoid driving, riding in, or even being around cars.
 
Remind yourself that outings and activities served you well in the past. Seeing them now in a different light doesn’t change the nature of the activity.
 
Ease Into Stressful Activities
Doctors often suggest that you ease yourself back into your routine.
Let’s look at the car accident case.
 
Getting behind the wheel too early could be dangerous for you and for others. And it could reinforce your problem rather than help it.
 
Instead, try a rideshare company or taxis. You might want to ride with friends and family for a while before getting behind the wheel again.
 
At first, it may even be helpful to read a book in the car instead of paying attention to traffic.
 
JohnK 8-2-2018
 
 
 
 
 
man feels stressOverheard: “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”   
                       ~William James
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Find Meaning In Your Life And Boost Your Happiness

July 26, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments
 
 
“Do what makes you happy.”
 
You’ve heard it a million times. If you’re unsatisfied with your job or any other professional situation it can get on your nerves.
 
Today the pursuit of happiness is deeply ingrained in us. We’re taught to expect a happy life and we’re encouraged to do whatever it takes to get it.
 
But, like everything else in life, happiness isn’t so simple.
 
baby shows happinessWhat is happiness?
 
First of all, we tend to see happiness as what we can get from others and our environment. In other words, we’re happy when our material and emotional needs are fulfilled.
 
 
 
Take Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. This is a generalized ranking of people’s needs as they apply to happiness.
 
It starts with basic biological needs like food and shelter. Then it moves up to things like self-development and creativity.
 
Sounds good, but it’s possible to give attention to some of those needs at the expense of others.
 
For example, say you have a job that covers your basic needs for food, shelter, and security. It could be getting in the way of your need for creativity, flexibility, and freedom.
 
On top of that, we tend to think of happiness as static, as something you either have or don’t. But this isn’t the case. Instead, happiness is fluid and fleeting.
 
So, is the pursuit of happiness an illusion? 
 
 
happiness face
 
 
No. Instead, to find that happiness, you first want to redefine it.
 
Do that by making it broader. It’s not only about the nice feeling you get when your needs are met.
 
Or when you receive something pleasant from someone else. It’s also about what you can give to others, and how that gives you a purpose and a connection to your community.
 
Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl tells us that giving helps you to reaffirm your very humanity. It makes you forget yourself, and give yourself to the person in front of you.
 
And you don’t have to change your routine to switch the focus from your own thoughts and needs to someone else’s. 
 
There are a few simple things you can do to start giving more:
 
Listen
See every conversation as a chance to connect with a person. So, instead of just waiting for your turn to speak, pay attention to every word the other person is saying.
 
Notice the tone of their voice and their body language. And don’t forget to ask questions. 
 
Build things for others
Can you knit, make origami figures, or draw? Make something and give it away. Never expect anything in return. 
 
Volunteer
Take five minutes to think of what’s important for you. What are your values?
 
Is there a cause you’d like to champion? Do you have time or skills to give away to that cause? 
 
Be kind
Make it a purpose to be kind to others every single day. Believe it or not, little acts of kindness have a contagious effect.
 
Compliment someone. Notice if she did something with her hair.
 
Help him with his groceries. Offer to do some extra work to help out a colleague.
 
Become a mentor
We all started somewhere. We’ve all been lost, confused, and tired.
 
But you have answers and insights that can help someone who’s starting their journey. 
 
By giving, you’re creating connections with those around you. Life stops being all about seeking satisfaction.
 
It takes on a deeper layer of commitment. Life is no longer all about you.
 
It’s about creating a positive effect on other people’s lives. 
 
Take action that transcends your own search for satisfaction. You’ll find more meaning in life.
 
You’ll become part of a community. You’ll assert your humanity.
 
And, you’ll be happier and more fulfilled.
 
JohnK 7-26-2018
 
 
 
 
happiness manOverheard: “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”                                     ~Abraham Lincoln
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Pain: A Different Perspective on Dealing With It

July 25, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments

 

woman in painOur next scheduled guest on Chi For Yourself has lived with chronic pain since 2007.

Sarah Anne Schockley offers fellow pain sufferers a compassionate and supportive guide for living with pain that can be used alongside their ongoing medical or therapeutic healing programs.

 

 

Sarah Anne Shockley is the author of The Pain Companion: Everyday Wisdom for Living With and Moving Beyond Chronic Pain.

Be with us for Chi For Yourself on Thursday, July 26th at 4 pm Eastern, 1 pm Pacific time at chiforyourself.com

JohnK 7-25-2019

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7 Ways to Differentiate Memory Changes as You Age

July 19, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments
Memory is a sometimes a touchy subject. The degree to which it bothers you may be a tipoff that something’s wrong.
 
Today we’ll look at how forgetfulness can be an annoyance or a sign of something more serious.
 
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ARTICLE:

 
memory reminderAs you age you may see that your memory is not as good as it used to be. This could affect your ability to learn and remember new things.
 
Some of these changes in memory can be due to lack of attention. For example, if you’re a working parent you may be on overwhelm.
 
 
 
You’re trying to remember who needs to go where and when. This is considered a normal memory problem.
 
There are biological reasons for memory loss, too. Over the years the brain changes.
 
 
memory helperThe ability to process information and to react to it slows, as does the ability to multi-task. You can curb the process with a little more effort to learn and remember new things.
 
 
 
 
There are differences in normal and abnormal cognitive and biological changes. Abnormal changes can be the effects of dementia or Alzheimer’s.
 
Here are some ways to tell normal forgetfulness from abnormal forgetfulness:
 
1. The passage of time –
 
The passing of time is often to blame for decreased memory in normal aging. If you don’t think about particular memories often, you might forget them.
 
A less important event might mean more chance of forgetting the details. This isn’t unusual.
 
The memories that you call upon more often tend to stay front of mind. Bottom line: if you don’t use those memories, you lose them.
 
Abnormal forgetfulness is the inability to recall recent events. Things like what you ate for breakfast or who visited you that day.
 
2. Stressful events –
 
If you’re trying to remember events from a time of stress in your life, it’s likely due to normal memory lapses. During times of stress, your brain has a harder time storing information.
 
3. Repetition –
 
If you tell your kids the same story over a couple of weeks it’s called simple forgetfulness. But if you tell them the same story during a short visit it may be more serious.
 
4. Date –
 
You might forget exact dates, but you have a general idea of the time of the month. This is common.
 
You would likely have the presence of mind to, say, check a newspaper for your answer. It’s a different story if you don’t even know what year it is.
 
5. Self-care abilities –
 
You may experience some forgetfulness now and then. But you still remember to wash and dress yourself.
 
You eat at your usual times. You go to the grocery store.
 
And you take your medications. You may need to use a pill box as a personal reminder but your memory is likely still within range for your age.
 
It’s a different story if you don’t remember how to do these tasks or even that they need to get done.
 
6. Familiarity –
 
Sometimes you get lost in unfamiliar locations, such as when you’re visiting a new area of your city. Usually not a big deal.
 
It’s another matter when you get lost in your neighborhood. Or if you don’t remember your own family members.
 
7. Frustration levels –
 
Talking about forgetfulness is not likely a trigger for anger. But a memory problem can cause angry outbursts to someone faced with questions.
 
They don’t want to be tested about dates, places, and more. They may even accuse you of stealing something that they lost and cannot locate.
 
JohnK 7-19-2018
 
 
 
 
Image for memoryOverheard: “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
                                  ~ British comedian Sir Norman Wisdom
 
 
 

The Benefits of Meditation for Motivation

July 12, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments
The next scheduled Chi For Yourself is set for a couple of weeks from today. I won’t go into details. But, if you’re someone who suffers from constant pain you’ll want to listen in. 
 
You’ll get the details in an upcoming GenuLines blog post. You can get those sent to you if you subscribe.
 
Put your email address in the box at the top of the page and get the updates. 
 
Today we’ll look at motivation. If you’re not doing well in this department you might benefit from a shot of mindfulness. 
 
Read on to learn more:
 
picture of meditation
 
 

ARTICLE:

 
Do you struggle with low motivation? The stress and strain of a busy life can overwhelm you.
 
The most basic tasks seem difficult.
 
The downward spiral of low motivation can seem like an impossible cycle to break. Productivity and accomplishment look like unattainable goals when you lose your spark.
 
There’s a simple tool you may not have considered before that can get you back on track, and that’s meditation. You can gain a lot of good things through your practice.
 
Let’s look at some of the benefits of meditation for motivation.
 
Strengthened Focus and Concentration
 
Focus and concentration are essential elements of motivation. If you can’t get your mind to center on the things you need to do, your motivation will also go out the window.
 
Meditation involves focus and concentration. You’ll be engaging in focusing your attention in some way.
 
 
 
Increased Happiness
 
We all get down now and again. But staying in the “happy zone” pays dividends.
 
Happy people tend to have more energy and higher self-confidence. Motivation increases happiness by stimulating the release of the brain’s “happiness hormones.”
 
When you’re feeling more positive, you’re likely to have more internal desire to get things done.
 
Less Stress
 
Meditation allows the brain to slow down as it receives sensory input. This leads to a more relaxed feeling
 
This relaxation and improved processing leads to reduced feelings of stress and overwhelm. With less stress comes a feeling of more control, which then fuels your motivation.
 
Positive Thinking
 
One of the biggest killers of motivation is negative thinking.
 
Pessimism can come from many sources. These include depression, poor habits or general life difficulties.
 
Meditation “rewires” brain patterns to naturally trigger more positive ones. The result is the “reset” you need to be more motivated.
 
Clarified Goals and Purpose
 
Taking time each day for meditation gives you loads of personal insight. This self-reflection can be the fuel for reassessing what’s really important in your life.
 
When you have a better picture of your priorities, your goals and life’s purpose become clearer. Knowing where you want to go kicks your motivation into high-gear.
 
You feel a greater urgency to take the steps necessary on the path to your dreams.
 
The benefits of meditation for increased motivation are many. And there are many different types of meditation.
 
You can begin to research on your own or find a skilled teacher who can help you develop a practice that works for you. What’s most important is that you get started.
 
And be consistent in your meditation practice. You’ll see more effective results.
 
The energy uptick will help you tackle your to-do list and go after the life goals that matter.
 
JohnK 7-12-2018
 
 
 
 
meditation manOverheard:   “I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse.”
                             ~ Florence Nightingale
 
 
 
 
 
 
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5 Confidence Tips for Dealing With Strong Personalities

July 3, 2018 John Uncategorized No comments
Does your confidence take a tumble around mid-week? Do you roll your eyes as you say the words “hump day?”
 
Is there a strong personality leaning on you? And if so, what do you do?
 
Chi For Yourself wants you to find that sweet spot between “monster” and “doormat.” So the following tips are offered for your consideration–
 
 
 
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ARTICLE:

 

 
We’ve all come across people with strong personalities. image for confidence
But what exactly does this mean?
 
It’s difficult to find one definition of a “strong personality.” Urban Dictionary online defines it as “an aggressive person; a difficult person.”  
 
Others use the following descriptive terms: intimidating, overbearing, impatient, intolerant, controlling, bullying behavior.
 
You want to deal with these strong personalities without punishing your confidence level.
 
Fortunately, there are ways to do this. Here’s what you need to keep in mind.  
 
1. Get to know the person underneath –
 
You can’t over-emphasize this point.  Getting beneath a person’s tough exterior can help you understand why that person is the way he/she is. 
 
Family of origin for example.
 
You may be dealing with an oldest child. One who came from alcoholic parents, and had to raise three brothers and sisters. 
 
Ways to get to know the person include engaging him/her in conversation.  At the start, it may be a sincere compliment about a new hairstyle or a new coat, or asking how his/her weekend was.
 
You want to stay on that person’s good side, and you can do this by being likable and friendly.  In turn, you’re also likely to pick up on traits about the person that you like.  
 
2. Don’t take it personally –
 
Strong personalities tend to be direct and they don’t mince words.  If you learn to shrug off the way something is said to you, you’ll do well. 
 
3. Stay calm – 
 
People with strong personalities are up to the challenge of arguing their point. So it’s better not to go there. 
 
Stand your ground, but don’t let it get to the point of an argument.
 
4. Use humor –
 
Let’s say someone is barking orders at you even though you have a good relationship with them. (as explained in tip #1 above). Consider using humor. 
 
You could say, “Sure, I can do that, but I expect you to buy me a coffee when we go for break.”  In this way, you’re acknowledging a request, but you’re showing that you’re not taking it to heart.  
 
5. You have valuable ideas too –
 
Often people with strong personalities are testing you.  They don’t like to see weakness in others as much as they don’t like it in themselves. 
 
Keep your confidence up by speaking clearly and with conviction, but do it kindly.  Don’t be a wishy-washy type of person who can’t make a decision. 
 
If you can’t come to an agreement on something, don’t walk away exasperated.  Instead, leave room for discussion later. 
 
It may go nowhere later too. But at least you keep your self-respect and the knowledge that you can deal with all kinds of people.  
 
JohnK 7-3-2019
 
 
 
 
Image for confidenceOverheard: I am very confident. I look confident. I act confident. I speak in a confident way…
                                          ~ Milton H. Erickson
 
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