Does your confidence take a tumble around mid-week? Do you roll your eyes as you say the words “hump day?”
Is there a strong personality leaning on you? And if so, what do you do?
Chi For Yourself wants you to find that sweet spot between “monster” and “doormat.” So the following tips are offered for your consideration–
ARTICLE:
We’ve all come across people with strong personalities. 
But what exactly does this mean?
It’s difficult to find one definition of a “strong personality.” Urban Dictionary online defines it as “an aggressive person; a difficult person.”
Others use the following descriptive terms: intimidating, overbearing, impatient, intolerant, controlling, bullying behavior.
You want to deal with these strong personalities without punishing your confidence level.
Fortunately, there are ways to do this. Here’s what you need to keep in mind.
1. Get to know the person underneath –
You can’t over-emphasize this point. Getting beneath a person’s tough exterior can help you understand why that person is the way he/she is.
Family of origin for example.
You may be dealing with an oldest child. One who came from alcoholic parents, and had to raise three brothers and sisters.
Ways to get to know the person include engaging him/her in conversation. At the start, it may be a sincere compliment about a new hairstyle or a new coat, or asking how his/her weekend was.
You want to stay on that person’s good side, and you can do this by being likable and friendly. In turn, you’re also likely to pick up on traits about the person that you like.
2. Don’t take it personally –
Strong personalities tend to be direct and they don’t mince words. If you learn to shrug off the way something is said to you, you’ll do well.
3. Stay calm –
People with strong personalities are up to the challenge of arguing their point. So it’s better not to go there.
Stand your ground, but don’t let it get to the point of an argument.
4. Use humor –
Let’s say someone is barking orders at you even though you have a good relationship with them. (as explained in tip #1 above). Consider using humor.
You could say, “Sure, I can do that, but I expect you to buy me a coffee when we go for break.” In this way, you’re acknowledging a request, but you’re showing that you’re not taking it to heart.
5. You have valuable ideas too –
Often people with strong personalities are testing you. They don’t like to see weakness in others as much as they don’t like it in themselves.
Keep your confidence up by speaking clearly and with conviction, but do it kindly. Don’t be a wishy-washy type of person who can’t make a decision.
If you can’t come to an agreement on something, don’t walk away exasperated. Instead, leave room for discussion later.
It may go nowhere later too. But at least you keep your self-respect and the knowledge that you can deal with all kinds of people.
JohnK 7-3-2019
Overheard: I am very confident. I look confident. I act confident. I speak in a confident way… ~ Milton H. Erickson
Recently I had the chance to respond to a blog post and I just couldn’t resist. I rarely do this. The writer read The Secret, did affirmations, and felt this “belief” was all fueled by ego wants. The following is an excerpt of my response. As the saying goes, “Ignorance of the Law is no excuse.”
Our scheduled guest is Andrew Matthews, author of How Life Works: Why Happy People are More Successful. How You Can Be Like Them!
Our scheduled guest on this week’s CHI FOR YOURSELF has written a book that shows you how to reclaim your time and get off the busyness hamster wheel.
While we’re on the subject of change, I hope you had a chance to hear the CHI FOR YOURSELF interview with Julie Simon. Our topic was emotional eating. Getting an upper hand on that tendency can bring major change to your life.
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