This final offering in the series on creating new habits takes a look at willpower and how it relates to habits. Maybe you’ve questioned yourself about “having the will” to lose 10 pounds or to find a better job. Your story CAN end well, and today’s installment will show you why.
All the best to you with your intentions!
The Inverse Relationship Between Habits and Willpower
It’s hard to keep up willpower for any length of time. Yes, we can stick to a low-fat 1,000 calorie diet and go hungry for a week or two, but eventually, our willpower fades. And yes, we can do exercise we hate for a while… until we run out of willpower.
But what about getting up to take the kids to school every morning, brushing our teeth or going to work every day. Those may not be our favorite things to do either, but we do them daily without the risk of running out of willpower.
That’s because they have become habits. They are so ingrained in what we do and who we are that we do them without even considering skipping a day or a week. We don’t have to make a conscious decision each day to shower or drive to work. It’s just what we do – a habit.
When you start to think about it, there is an inverse relationship between habits and will power. When you first want to build a new habit, it takes a lot of will power to get it done day in and day out. As you start to establish that habit, it becomes easier and easier to do until you don’t even have to think about it anymore.
Just being aware of this process helps us stick it out. We know we don’t always have to make such a big effort to work out or skip the donut for breakfast. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. We know that eventually going out for a run first thing in the morning and grabbing some fruit or fixing some eggs for breakfast will become habits.
While we’re in that transition from willpower to habit, we can use tools to make it easier. Use a to-do list or set a reminder to help stay on track.
Find an accountability partner so the two of you can motivate each other and help bolster that willpower when it starts to fade after the first enthusiasm wears off. Even something as simple as laying out your running clothes the night before and keeping your sneakers by the door will make it a little easier to go out for that run.
Do what you can to help your willpower along until you have made the new behavior a true habit. After that, it’ll be easy and automatic and you’ve created a new lifelong habit.
Installment number 4 of our CHI FOR YOURSELF habit creation series reminds us that creating new habits isn’t easy. Here are six simple hacks that will make it a little easier. Use them until you’ve internalized the new habit and don’t need them anymore.
Schedule It And Put It On The To-Do List
Sometimes we forget to do that new thing we were trying. Maybe we forget that we’re supposed to be having eggs for breakfast instead of a stack of waffles, or that we need to do that daily walk.
Schedule your new habits or make them part of your daily to-do list until they become something you do automatically.
Make It Public and Be Accountable
Let family and friends know what new habits you’re trying to establish. They will call you out if you don’t stick to your plan and get you back on track.
You may even go as far as sharing it publicly on Facebook or write a blog about your new journey. Knowing that others read it and know about it might be just enough to keep you going when you feel like throwing in the towel.
Piggyback On A Habit You Already Have
Whenever possible, add the new habit to one you already have. For example, if you fix a cup of tea or coffee at 4 pm, and you want to get in the habit of taking a daily walk, make the new ritual to go for your walk and then come back and enjoy your tea.
It’s much easier to amend an existing habit or ritual than creating an entirely new one.
Make Slipups Costly
Here’s a fun idea. Put a jar on the kitchen counter and each time you slip back into your bad habit or forget to stick to the new one you have to put five dollars in the jar. It will quickly help you remember to skip that sugary food and motivate you to go out for that walk. For extra motivation donate the money to charity at the end of the month or hand it over to your spouse to spend on him or herself.
Find A Partner and Help Each Other Along
Find someone with the same or similar goal. This could be a workout partner or a diet buddy. Keep tabs on each other and encourage each other to keep going. It’s much harder to skip a walk if you know someone else is depending on you being there.
Make It A Group Challenge
If one accountability partner is good, a whole group is even better. And they don’t even need to be local. Find a supportive group online and challenge each other to stick to your new habit for the next 30 days or so. Not wanting to be the first one to give up will keep all of you going until you establish that new habit.
Give these simple little hacks a try. Keep using the ones that you find helpful until you have made new habits you can stick with without the help of any tools or support.
Part 3 of our series on creating new habits deals with putting some new routine in our days. Read on to see how this can go a long way toward locking those new habits into place.
Make It A Habit – The Benefit Of A Routine & Habit Filled Day
Have you noticed that it gets harder to make decisions toward the end of the day? You’re too tired to figure out what to have for dinner or what to watch on TV. That’s because we all have a finite number of decisions that we can make on any given day.
Knowing that helps us prioritize. We can cut out a lot of decision making by implementing habits and routines. That way we save them for the important stuff. It also frees brain space for more creative and productive thinking. Routines are great tools that simplify our lives and cut out a lot of our daily stress.
Chances are you already have a morning routine. You get up, you get your coffee, read the paper or check email and fix some toast before heading into the shower. Let’s expand on that. If you create a “uniform” for yourself, you don’t even have to think about what to wear. You just grab a pair of pants and a shirt, or a skirt, tights and sweater and off you.
Put some routines into your work day wherever possible. Meal planning helps you figure out what meals to fix and eat. A cleaning schedule makes sure you stay on track with your household chores without you having to spend any valuable decision-making skills in the process.
Wrap your day up with a bedtime routine that not only helps when you’re too tired to make smart choices, it also helps you fall asleep more easily. What works for your toddler works for you as well.
Start by doing a few chores that make the next morning easier. Making sure the kitchen is clean and the kids’ school things are in order are great examples. Come up with a few calming things that help you slow down and get ready for sleep. Read a book, listen to some music or wind down with a cup of herbal tea.
Our second installment on creating new habits takes a look at time. Your time, and the amount you’ll need to invest to make the new habit take hold. As you’ll see, there are different time frames for different habits.
How Long Does It Really Take To Create A New Habit?
They say it takes 21 days to create a new habit. But that’s kind of a weird idea, isn’t it? It doesn’t take that long to form a bad habit. And sometimes no matter how hard we try it takes us a lot longer to form a new habit.
How long does it really take to create a new habit? The answer is that it depends. It depends on your mindset and it depends on how big of a change it is from what you are doing now. If it is your habit to eat a bowl of ice cream at night and you switch from regular ice cream to a low sugar frozen yogurt version, it’s probably not going to take you very long to make that new habit. Giving up ice cream altogether though or cutting out all sugar, on the other hand, might take a lot longer.
When we ask that question, what we really want to know is how long do we have to tough it out before it gets easier. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel where we don’t have to try so hard anymore? In other words, when will this new behavior become automatic?
While it will be different from one person to the next and even from one habit to the next, there are a few things to keep in mind.
It’s easier to make a new habit than get rid of an old one. Be prepared to work a lot harder to give up checking your email every 2 minutes or snacking late at night. Whenever possible, try to replace an old habit with a new one. For example, if you’re wanting to give up coffee, brew a cup of herbal tea in the morning and throughout the day when you would usually reach for your cup of Joe.
Habits will form faster if you stick to the same time and environment each day. Instead of going for a walk whenever, keep your sneakers next to the door and schedule your walk every day at 6 pm, right after dinner for example.
A constant reminder of why you’re trying to change your behavior is also helpful. Remind yourself every day that you’re exercising so your body stays strong and you can go play with the kids or grandkids in the yard. Or put up a picture to remind you that you’re making frugal habits so you can one day purchase your dream home. Keep your reason why you’re changing front and center and then be prepared to stick it out. Yes, it will take some time to make new habits and replace old ones. But it will be well worth it in the end.
A brand new year is just days away and it’s a great time to think about making changes in our lives. This week CHI FOR YOURSELF is looking at ways of making those changes a reality. We begin this series with a look at habits and ways to form new ones.
3 Steps to Creating New Habits
Let’s talk about forming new habits. We all have times in our lives where we intentionally want to change our behavior for the better and create new habits for ourselves. This could be getting in the habit of eating healthier and drinking more water. Or it could be moving more and taking the dog for a daily walk. Or it could be work related, or spiritual, or… There are so many areas in our lives that could be improved and made easier if we created new habits.
Getting into the habit of doing something is often easier said than done. We seem to acquire bad habits without any effort, but getting into a “good” habit can be a little more challenging.
Let’s break it down into a three step process that makes it easy to follow until we’ve internalized the new behavior and made it a true habit – something we do automatically without having to think about, like brushing our teeth.
Decide What You Want To Do
The first step is to decide what you want that new habit to be. Be as specific as possible. Don’t just tell yourself you want to exercise more. Instead, say something like “I will go for a 30-minute walk every single day”. Deciding what your new habit will be and commit to when and how you’re going to do it, is half the battle.
Remind Yourself To Get It Done
The next few days should be smooth sailing. You’re motivated and excited to get this done. Sticking to your new habit isn’t an issue. But a few days in you’ll notice that it’s easy to slip back into old habits.
Maybe it’s raining and you don’t really want to go out and walk. Or maybe your day just gets away from you. This is when it’s important to have a daily reminder. Set an alert on your phone or add the new habit to your daily to-do list for a while.
Make It Part Of Your Routine Until It Becomes A Habit
Which brings us to the last step. It takes some time before a new behavior becomes a true habit. Until then, a routine will work to your best advantage. Even before the new behavior becomes automatic, a routine will help you get it done without having to spend a lot of willpower or relying on daily reminders.
Make that daily walk part of your after dinner routine, or change from grabbing a snack at the vending machine at work at 10:00 in the morning to packing a healthy snack.
Congratulations! Decide to create the new habit, practice the routine until it’s second nature and you’ll be well on your way to forming a new good habit.
Sam Bennett makes her second visit to CHI FOR YOURSELF today. Sam is the author of START RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE: How Little Changes Can Make a Big Difference for Overwhelmed Procrastinators, Frustrated Overachievers, and Recovering Perfectionists.
If you see yourself in any of those categories you’ll want to be with us for Sam Bennett. Today at 1 pm Pacific, 4 pm Eastern time at chiforyourself.com.
It’s a time of the year when people gather. And one of their big talking points is resolutions for the coming year. During the next couple of weeks, CHI FOR YOURSELF will get you in a high energy mindset for making changes in your life.
You’ll be getting GenuLines posts to help strengthen your intentions. And, our first scheduled CHI FOR YOURSELF guest in 2017 is someone whose expertise is organizing her clients’ lives- and that includes making and keeping those resolutions! Details in a future post…
Remember, this week our CHI FOR YOURSELF scheduled guest is Sam Bennett, author of START RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE: How Little Changes Can Make a Big Difference for Overwhelmed Procrastinators, Frustrated Overachievers, and Recovering Perfectionists,
Sam Bennett
We get underway on Thursday, Dec. 22nd at 1 pm Pacific, 4 pm Eastern time at chiforyourself.com
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Making Your Dreams Come True
Everyone, at some point in his or her life, has dreamed of being somebody special, somebody big. Who hasn’t fantasized about being the one who hits the game-winning homer? Who hasn’t dreamed of being the homecoming queen? And how many times have we dreamed of being rich, or successful, or happy with our relationships?
Often, we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, our dreams remain just that – dreams. And our aspirations easily collect dust in our attic.
This is a sad turn of events in our lives. Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self- actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.
But you know what? Life could be so much better if only we learned to aim higher.
The most common problem involved in setting goals are the words ‘can’t’ and ‘impossible’. Most people get hung up thinking ‘I can’t do this,’ or ‘It’s not possible.’
However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment.
Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. However, the bumblebee doesn’t know that. So fly it does.
On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally possible dreams and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams, and tattered aspirations.
If you limit yourself with self-doubt and negative assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream while ignoring what is possible.
Try this exercise. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do.’ And under one more, list the things that are ‘impossible for you to do.’
Now look at all the headers and strive every day to accomplish the goals that are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, try accomplishing the goals under the next header – the one that reads ‘you might be able to do.’
As of the items you wrote under things you could do are accomplished, you can move the goals that are labeled ‘impossible for you to do’ to the list of things ‘you might be able to do.’
As you work through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought you could not do become easier to accomplish. And the ‘impossible’ begins to seem possible after all.
You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high and start working towards that goal little by little. However, it also is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic. Those who just dream towards a goal without working hard end up disappointed and disillusioned.
On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these ‘impossible’ dreams are now realities.
Thomas Edison once said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Nothing could be truer. Accomplishing our dreams often takes work and discipline. But take note that the 1% has to be a think-big dream, and not some easily accomplished one.
Ask any gym rat and he or she will tell you that there can be no gains unless you are put out of your comfort zone. Remember the saying, “No pain, no gain”?
So dream on, friend! Don’t get caught up in your perceived limitations. Think big and work hard to attain those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will find that the ‘impossible’ has just become a little bit more possible.
It’s been tough to write the past couple of days… I’m visiting family and friends on the east coast of the United States and I’ve been pretty busy…I’m sure you are too, especially if you live here in the U.S. and are enjoying Thanksgiving get togethers.
It’s been great seeing old friends, some I’ve known since I was 5 years old…
elementary school friends… and even a few from college.
You occupy a special place on my gratitude list. And this 1-minute video is given as a hello and thank you for being such an important part of what CHI FOR YOURSELF is all about. Be well!
Well, here we are at the start of another Thanksgiving holiday week. I love this time of the year for a number of reasons. It doesn’t pressure us to spend wads of money. It doesn’t align itself with any particular religious belief. And it doesn’t wrap itself around militaristic thoughts and tendencies. The word Thanksgiving even contains it’s reason for existence- giving thanks.
This short article deals with documenting your gratitude. Putting it down in writing has lots of positive effects, as you’re about to see.
At the top of MY gratitude list is you, the GenuLines reader!
Five Reasons to Keep a Gratitude Journal
I expect you’ve often been told to be thankful for what you have when something awful happens. Research has shown that being thankful is a beneficial habit. Keeping a gratitude journal is an increasingly popular tool used by those seeking to improve themselves.
Five reasons to keep a gratitude journal are:
1. Changing Thought Patterns: studies have shown a strong mind-body connection. When we are feeling stressed, anxious or another negative emotion it can have a negative effect on our physical health. By considering those things, events or people you are thankful for you are creating positive thoughts and feelings which will help reduce stress levels. It will also remind you that whatever happens to you there is always something to feel thankful for.
Your commitment to your gratitude journal refocuses your mind on positive events, conversations, and relationships. This enables you to see more than just the negative ones that tend to fill your mind and dominate your thoughts when they happen.
Another way your thought patterns will change is that you will find that you start pushing boundaries and removing limiting beliefs. This will happen as you not only keep your gratitude journal but also review it. You will find that your mind opens to new possibilities and you gain in self-confidence and knowledge.
2. Improve Your Health: the fact that there is a mind-body connection means that by focusing on positive thoughts and feelings in your gratitude journal you are helping to improve your physical and mental health. Studies have shown that regular gratitude journaling can
*Relieve stress and anxiety
*Improve sleep
*Help you gain perspective
3. Create Optimism: some days it’s just too hard to see the forest for the trees. You’ll find yourself focusing on something that has upset you and that troublesome thought will nag at you constantly. Taking some time to sit quietly and think about something you are grateful for will help reduce the negative thoughts and feelings and replace them with positive ones.
4. Improved Sleep: regardless of whether you feel the need for eight hours sleep each night your body and mind do require a regular amount of sleep each night for optimal mental and physical health. Keeping a gratitude journal is fun, calming and a positive activity that promotes happy thoughts and feelings. By replacing worry and stress, you can sleep more peacefully and have happier dreams.
5. It’s Fun: keeping a gratitude journal should be a fun enjoyable experience; something you look forward to. It doesn’t matter whether you use a plain notebook or a really fancy one, you can jazz it up by using different colored pens or pencils or even decorating the pages.
If you want to create a positive change in yourself and your life, then keeping a gratitude journal may just be the tool you are looking for. It’s cheap, easy and very beneficial to your physical and mental health.
Whew! This has been a wild week, to say the least. You may be in need of some (slow) downtime, whether your candidates won or lost. Today I invite you to examine your thoughts. Maybe they need a little re-working? New thoughts can come from taking a new perspective on things. One way to do that is to challenge the assumptions that exist. I’m Gio and I approved this message 🙂
New Thoughts on Love
Desire and attachment can be strong feelings, and they are often called love in certain contexts. However, attachment can be for bad reasons too, right? Desire too can come from less than noble places. What is an alternative definition of love?
How about a recognition of value? Seeing the inherent value in a person, like the beauty you see in a painting or hear a melody. You do not need to be attached or even desirous of beauty to enjoy it. You just have to recognize it. The enjoyment that you take in another’s existence could then be a definition of love. At least the emotion.
Love is more than an emotion, though. How much love does a mother have for her children if she feels fondness toward them, but doesn’t feed them? Love in this context has to include action, doesn’t it?
This points up the real problem with defining concepts like love. There are seven or eight or perhaps a hundred things we want to communicate. They are each different, yet we have just one word for them. Maybe rather than re-defining love we need to create a dozen new words. Now there’s an area for some new thoughts.
Random New Thoughts
Another way to have new thoughts is to just look for new ideas to replace old ones. Then you expand on the new idea, to see what value you might find in it. Here are some examples of new thoughts, without expanding on them (help yourself).
– Why do we encourage uninformed people to vote? Maybe it’s better to insist on a better- informed electorate.
– Is multi-tasking really a sign of efficiency? Maybe the fact that we need to be so busy just to get what we want shows that our actions aren’t effective enough.
– Why not wake up to the fact that medical care is one of the leading causes of death? What if we took health and healing into our own hands and became our own advocates? Consider natural remedies. And recognize that standard medical care is a wonderful thing- when used wisely
– How about wonder instead of faith? Faith is just believing without reason. Wonder is to marvel at the world and accept that we don’t have reasons or explanations for everything.
Finally, what if our level of creativity, and ability to have new thoughts isn’t just something that is set at birth. What if it is a systematic process, one that may not be recognized by those who use it, but can be identified and copied? All of us can train ourselves to have creative new thoughts.
This final offering in the series on creating new habits takes a look at willpower and how it relates to habits. Maybe you’ve questioned yourself about “having the will” to lose 10 pounds or to find a better job. Your story CAN end well, and today’s installment will show you why.
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