Your failure is a personal setback. But what happens when you have to share it with others?
These GenuLines pointers can help point you toward answers.
How Do You Tell Others About Your Failure?
You know what sucks about failing at something? The thought of having to tell people about it.
We’ll use driving tests as an example.
Let’s say you’re going to tell people you’re taking the test. They might respond with words of encouragement.
You may even get written cards. Of course this is a nice gesture and it’s coming from a nice place.
Unfortunately though, it also means that if you don’t pass you then have to tell them.
They may feel as though they have to send you more cards the next time you try.
Telling people about failure makes it real. And unfortunately it’s often enough to prevent us from wanting to try in the first place.
Here’s how to change your approach.
Do You Tell People Your Goals?
Some schools of thought suggest we shouldn’t be telling people our goals in the first place. Researchers have looked at what happens when we tell people our goals.
They found that we become less likely to attempt them when we do that.
The reason for this is that telling people goals gives us a sense of ‘release’ and allows us to get some of the reward. When you tell someone you’re going to quit smoking, that then makes you feel a sense of relief.
Now you don’t actually have to give up smoking for real!
If you take this position, it may make more sense not to tell people about your goals. That way you won’t have to come clean about your failures.
The best scenario for most people will be to tell a small select group of people.
Wear Your Failure Proudly
The next step is to change the way you think about failure. Many of us approach failure as though it is the end of the world.
In fact though, failure only means we’ve tried something brave and it makes us stronger. Some of the most successful people in the world failed countless times to get to where they are now.
Telling people you failed in itself is a victory in as much as it takes courage. Don’t go shy and avoid the topic or make excuses (people see through that anyway).
Be proud and say something went wrong. If you struggle to do this, then you might want to reassess why you’re doing things in the first place.
You’ gotta want it!
JohnK 10-23-2023
chiforyourself.com
Overheard: “”You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try”
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