“Constructive wallowing” seems like an oxymoron. Constructive is a good thing, but wallowing is bad. Right?
But wait a minute; is it really so terrible to give ourselves a time-out to feel our feelings? Or is it possible that wallowing is an act of loving kindness, right when we need it most?
We’ll look at these questions and more on Chi For Yourself when we’re visited by Tina Gilbertson, author of Constructive Wallowing:How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them.
Tina will be the guest on Thursday, September 11th at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific time. You’ll be able to hear the interview at chiforyourself.com
Be with us for today’s Chi For Yourself and guest Daniel Parmeggiani. Daniel is the author of The Magnificent Truths of Our Existence: Unlocking the Deeper Reality of Permanent Happiness.
” Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared”
Buddha
Article: The Simplicity of Choosing Happiness
In our new age of spirituality, where east meets west in the modern labyrinth of mental and spiritual healing, two clear definitions to happiness remain; (1) that happiness is a value synonymous with well-being and thriving, and (2) as opposed to depression, it is something we as humans seek. In essence happiness itself remaining the primary goal – and more elusive.
Psychological research suggests that each individual has what is called a ‘Happiness Set-point’ (HSP) determining overall well-being; happier when things balance our inner HSP and quite unhappy (even miserable), when things go against us, or fall short of it. We alone draw that line and in so doing compound our intrinsic belief, that sentience has a right to happiness, no matter what. Even an animal (and our basic survival instincts) will seek comfort against pain, to find it.
Evidence from research shows that 40% of our happiness is within our control and a voluntary choice we make. Psychologist William James, adds that it is our attitude that hinders or helps us reach our HSP. It seems that it is a natural human reflex to alter our attitude to achieve it. We want to maintain our HSP at all costs. Ironically, the indifference of the depressed, is a matter of ongoing research on lower HSP levels as per socio-economic standards, environmental and chemical imbalance.
Biblical and Buddhist philosophy maintain that all happiness comes from seeking it, yet ironically, a principle point of Buddhism is that all striving is suffering. This would explain why realistic goals are paramount, as true happiness may only be achieved through the balance of effort and suffering, and not the eternal ‘good-time’ that modern pop-psychology would have us believe. Being happier takes effort, especially if it’s a choice we make and maintain with mindfulness. Without effort, one can argue that happiness is hollow and not happiness at all.
Transformation might well be as simple as ‘Seek and ye shall find’ and no matter your labour to your HSP (health, diet, supplements; yoga and exercise; meditation, gratitude, education, journals, self-help, new-age, and/or new-thought mindfulness); the bottom line is that you are still only partaking in the most natural human birth-right of our species. Best to keep it simple.
Buddha
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