Tag Archive for conscious choices

Appreciate the Small Things And Find Contentment

July 16, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments
You’re intent on finding happiness, but what about contentment? You hear about appreciating the small stuff and feeling happy.
 
Today GenuLines asks you to turn your aim from happiness to contentment.
 
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Appreciate the Small Things And Find Contentment

baby feeling contentmentMost emotions are transitional, meaning you’re never in one state for long periods. People labeled upbeat actually do have moments of sadness or depression.
 
And even depressed people may not feel depressed all the time.
 
 
 
 
 
Think about a major event such as a war. When two countries are fighting, both sides lose lives.
 
It’s bloody, and it can last for several years. But, when the war is over, the countries are euphoric.
 
There will be no more bloodshed because of the war, and people can return to their lives.
 
But nothing that has changed in the world except that the war has ended. In other words, the sun still sets each day.
 
People still have to manage their lives.
 
The euphoria from the war ending doesn’t last long. Months later, the war is still over, but the euphoria has died down.
 
The same is true in a smaller way when you’re ill. For instance, suppose you have a stomach bug that leaves you uncomfortable and in pain.
 
When the bug passes you feel wonderful.
 
Yet, you don’t feel any better than you did when you weren’t experiencing the bug. It’s relative to the bad feelings.
 
That’s how emotional states work. They go from one to the other on a constant basis.
 
Appreciating the small things in life may lead to happiness. But, it’s likely you’re content more than you are happy.
 
Contentment can feel like a neutral state, leaning on the side of happy. There isn’t anything wrong when you’re content.
 
But, there’s also nothing ratcheting up your happiness.
 
Consider contentment before happiness
Striving for happiness can be stressful. The antidote? Gratitude. You’ll feel content without having to always push toward happiness.
 
Time spent in contentment means you’re doing something right.
 
Think about the people you love. And think about all you have, such as your health and a good job.
 
Imagine life without them and you’ll really appreciate contentment. That thought may even make you happy, if only for a short time.
 
JohnK 7-16-2019
 
stick figure feeling contentmentOverheard: “A harvest of peace is produced from a seed of contentment”
                            ~Proverb
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
disclaimer to deal with contentment
 
 
 

Project Into Your Future: Appreciate the Small Stuff

June 11, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments
crystal ball to projectSuppose you had a crystal ball. You gaze into the ball, and it starts to reveal your life for the next twenty years.
 
It’s showing your future. How would it look?
 
 
 
 
Today GenuLines takes a “look.”
 
 
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Project Into Your Future: Appreciate the Small Stuff

While there are no definite ways to peer into the future to date, you do have some control over the process. There are random events that will be beyond your control.
 
Unfortunately, some of them will be unpleasant. But, there’s a lot you can do to shape your future.
 
The point of the exercise is to try and determine if you appreciate the small things in your life.
 
A look into the crystal ball
Are you spending time with family or friends? Or are you working long hours and not interacting with anyone?
 
If you keep your focus on making money, you may look back on your time and wish you hadn’t. There’s much more to life than work.
 
At some point, the company could turn you loose. They may replace you with someone younger and less expensive.
 
You aren’t as important to them as you make yourself out to be. Everyone is replaceable.
 
People do need to work. You have to be able to provide for your family.
 
But, you need to have a balance between work and spending time with your family and friends. Work and money are things you can always manage to find.
 
Family and friends are irreplaceable as is the time you spend with them.
 

Opportunity knocks

Another reason to spend time with people is they can also present you with opportunities. For instance, you may not like your career, but you stick with it because the money is good and it’s steady work.
 
As you interact with other people, you may hear about opportunities for work that you’d much prefer. This kind of thing happens quite often.
 
If you spent the majority of your time at your job, you would never discover these opportunities.
 
Of course, you don’t want your friendships to be dependent on the opportunities they provide. Yet, friendships often lead to forming new ventures.
 
That’s a natural part of the process.
 
But don’t pick your job on the basis of forming close friendships. In time some co-workers can become good friends.
 
Just remember that these relationships are professional.
 
JohnK 6-11-2019
 
stick figure ready to projectOverheard: “We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”
                       ~Albert Schweitzer
 
 
 
 
 
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Teaching Kids to Deal with Adversity

June 4, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments
Parents want to shelter their kids from adversity as much as possible. They see the world as dangerous, and going into protection mode is understandable.
 
But kids need to learn how to deal with adversity. Sheltering them can prevent this from happening.
 
Below are some GenuLines suggestions for showing kids the way through adversity.
 
banner to appreciate
 
 

Teaching Kids to Deal with Adversity

Can you teach kids about the difficulties ahead of them? It’s a delicate balance between knowing what to tell them and what to keep from them.
 
After all, many societies use movie rating systems to limit certain children’s viewing.
 
But they learn a lot from older siblings. And they learn from classmates in school (who also have older siblings).
 
They also take cues from parents who let profanities slip out, as hard as they try not to.
 
Kboy facing adversityids know more than we give them credit for, and they can handle much more than we want to believe. They watch the news and see stories of violence, terrorism, and other horrific events.
 
Even if you keep them from watching, they hear about the events in school. There is simply no way around it.
 
 
 
When kids know they can talk to their parents, they can handle most situations. It’s better to learn from the source, i.e., parents, rather than from outside sources such as friends.
 
Chances are the information from friends is not reliable. That’s one reason kids tell outrageous stories when they get home from school.
 
To help kids deal with adversity, be sure the set the stage for their behavior. If you lose it during your own challenges you can be certain they’ll do the same.
 
Stay as calm as possible and look for solutions. The kids will take your lead on this behavior as well.
 
Kids should also learn to help others at an early age. This way, they won’t be afraid to rely on others when they need help.
 
When they get older, they may be willing to reach out to friends or family members. Of course, they should try to take care of certain situations on their own before reaching out.
 
Again, it’s a delicate balance and a learning process.
 
Every family situation is different. Each may call for different ways of handling them.
 
The variety makes a step-by-step process tough if even possible. Early exposure to life’s situations is key.
 
This will pay dividends for them when they’re adults.
 
JohnK 6-4-2019
 
stick man looking for adversityOverheard: “The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.”
                                        ~ Chinese Proverb
 
 
 
 
 
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Show Others How to Appreciate the Small Things

May 7, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments
Life gives us lots to appreciate. People who forget that can become bitter over time.
 
But you can set an example for them. Today GenuLines looks at some ways to do it.
 
call to content you'll appreciate
 

Show Others How to Appreciate the Small Things

Your gratitude for life’s gifts can help you show others how to do the same. You don’t have to go overboard.
 
sign you can appreciateYou can make occasional references to how you enjoy your life and give reasons why. Relate experiences about your weekend to your colleagues.
 
Then tell why you appreciate them.
 
Stay as positive as you can, even if the bitter people are negative. That’s not easy since negative people can sour the moods of the people around them.
 
 
***
 

 

But, your positive outlook can cancel out that negative behavior.
 
People appreciate listeners
They haven’t been able to get their problems off their chest. These problems often build, which stokes their bitterness.
 
They feel as though no one is listening and no one cares about them. But playing the role of advisor can be the wrong tactic to use.
 
Be a listener. It’ll make a world of difference.
 
Invite them to events after work. Understand that it may take some time before they say yes to your invitations.
 
Bitter people often become reclusive. Keep inviting them, and over time you may break down their barriers.
 
Don’t pressure them. That will make them more reclusive.
 
Talk activities
Get them talking about their hobbies or their favorite sports. Even if they aren’t active in these events, ask about past experiences.
 
When they start talking it may re-ignite a spark. That can be a great starting point in helping them get through their issues.
 
Some people will never let down their guard, and that’s unfortunate. They’ve stopped living life, and they don’t appreciate any aspect of it.
 
But there’s hope for some. Even changing one life is a force for good.
 
They’ll become more pleasant to be around. And they may get to the point where they’ll help others who’ve lost their way.
 
JohnK 5-7-2019
 
 
stickman who apreciatesOverheard: When the crowd appreciates you, it encourages you to be a little more daring, I think.
                               ~ Julius Erving
 
 
 
 
 
***Photo by MARK ADRIANE on Unsplash
 
 
 
 
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Helping Others Deal with Adversity

April 30, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments
At some point in your life, you’re going to experience adversity. It teaches you that you have the strength to overcome most anything that comes your way.
 
Sometimes, others you know may need help when dealing with their adverse situations. GenuLines reminds you that your experience of self-help puts you in a good position to offer them help.
 
banner helps with adversity
 

Helping Others Deal with Adversity

cloud of adversityThe people you’re trying to help may need to open up about their situation. If they’re denying that it’s occurring, it’s going to be difficult to help them.
 
They won’t accept your offers of help because they don’t believe anything is wrong. Or worse, they’ll get angry with you for even suggesting something is wrong.
 
 
 
A helpful approach
There’s a way to help them realize they have a problem. Ask them how they would handle a similar situation if they needed to help someone else.
 
This gets them to focus on an outside entity, even if fictitious. This lets them start the process of identifying the problem.
 
It doesn’t guarantee that they’ll come around. But it can get the process started.
 
Helping people to recognize the problem helps them take action.
 
You may want to search for help online. Research before they do so that you can help them when they get to that point of doing the research themselves.
 
It’s not a bad idea to learn more about the situation. You’ll be better able to help them.
 
Your adversity experience
If you’ve dealt with the specific situation before, that will speed the process. The person you’re helping can ask questions about your experiences and what you did to cope or get through it.
 
You will likely have a list of resources prepared from your experiences. You can volunteer to go with them to any support groups or meetings.
 
But once they get started they may be able to do it alone.
 
Helping others deal with adversity is not an easy task. You should expect to get resistance, especially in the beginning.
 
But, if you can get them to see the problem, they may be ready to take action towards the recovery process. It can be rewarding to know that you helped people start on their road to recovery.
 
JohnK 4-30-2019
 
 
stick figure hears about adversityOverheard: “The bravest sight in the world is to see a great man struggling against adversity”
 
                             ~Lucius Annaeus Seneca
 
 
 
 
disclaimer for adversity

Do You Know Your Optimal Routine Zone?

April 23, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments
Do you have a favorite time of day to do your work? Not everyone’s a “rise and shine” thinking dynamo.
 
Today GenuLines looks at different peak productivity times. Let’s see where you might fit into one of them.
 
banner helps find zone
 

Do You Know Your Optimal Routine Zone?

People have certain times of the day when they do their best work. They get more done and are more focused.
 
Some do better in the mornings. Others in the afternoons.
 
 
relaxing in the zoneThen there are the night owls, who can produce the most during the later hours. These are their optimal routine zones.
 
What is your optimal routine zone? Are you a morning person or do you cringe at the thought of getting up early?
 
 
 
Do you have vampire blood that lets you do your best work at night?
 
Match up with the zone
Whatever you find to be your optimal routine zone, set your tasks to work during these times. Do as much of your work as possible during this optimal zone.
 
Structure your day around it.
 
Working during your optimal time doesn’t mean you do nothing when you’re outside of those zones. Your boss will likely not take too kindly if you slack off.
 
Instead, you should use this time for activities that are not as taxing. These include making phone calls and other non-stressful activities.
 
Sometimes, you’ll have no choice but to do more of the heavy lifting during your “off times.” If this happens, you’ll have to make the best of it.
 
Zone out
Another problem is that you may be working in a job that does not coincide with your optimal zones. That’s a tough one. 
 
You may want to adjust or to move on to opportunities where you can work during your optimal times.
 
If your job involves being creative, this concept of optimal zones is going to work in your favor. For instance, if you are a writer, try to do most of your writing during these times.
 
You can use the other times to answer emails, post on social media, or check out forums related to your writing. If you’re writing for a blog, try writing several posts in your zone. 
 
Schedule them as if you’ve written one per day, etc.
 
Increasing your productivity is knowing your advantages. Find your optimal work zones and use them effectively. 
 
This way you’ll increase your productivity. Your manager will notice this, and it could help you when asking for a raise or getting a promotion.
 
It will also give you the satisfaction of a more fulfilling job.
 
JohnK 4-23-2019
 
 
stick figure hears about zoneOverheard: “It’s a hard thing to leave any deeply routine life, even if you hate it.”
 
                                          ~John Steinbeck, East of Eden
 
 
 
 
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Learn How to Make Mistakes

April 16, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments
So you’re afraid to make mistakes. And that’s cutting into your self-trust.
 
GenuLines realizes that this could be standing in the way of your success. When you learn how to make mistakes, you’ll be ready to start trusting yourself.
 

banner helps mistakes

Learn How to Make Mistakes

I think you’ll agree that nobody is perfect. I make mistakes and you do, too..
 
When you make mistakes, you learn from them. That’s what makes them so valuable.
 
warning for mistakes
 
Of course, if you don’t learn from them, you can expect to make the same mistakes again and again. That’s why you have to do a post mortem of your actions and take stock of where you made your mistakes.

Mistakes will happen

If you try too hard to avoid mistakes, you end up making more of them. You can’t avoid mistakes and you shouldn’t try. Sometimes, your mistakes will make people angry with you.
 
It’s a part of life.
 
If this happens, you first have to determine if your mistakes truly affected those people. If it didn’t, they have no right to call you out on them.
 
If it turns out that your actions did affect them, do what you can to rectify the situation. A simple apology may be all that’s needed.
 
Be forgiving of people who make mistakes. You would want them to do the same if you slipped up.
 
It’s okay to get angry at someone in certain situations. But, open your heart and let them make amends.
 
Once you give in to making mistakes, you’ll find it a freeing experience. You will no longer need to put too much pressure on yourself to avoid them.

Sticky situations

Meanwhile, mistakes can lead to positive, unintended circumstances. Take Sticky Notes by 3M.
 
Researchers at the company set out to create a strong adhesive. Management was not impressed, but the idea was used to create a different product.
 
There have been many instances of mistakes that lead to alternative solutions. These wouldn’t have happened by way of mistake avoidance.
 
Let yourself make mistakes. They’ll help you trust yourself.
 
JohnK 4-16-2019
 
 
 
stick figure hears mistakesOverheard: “You make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you.”
                              ~Maxwell Maltz
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
disclaimer for mistakes
 
 
 
 

Complainers Can Learn to Appreciate Small Things

April 2, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments
Complainers complain. It’s what they do. Are you dealing with such a person? If you are, consider the points in this GenuLines post and apply them to your situation.
 
banner helps complainers
 

Complainers Can Learn to Appreciate Small Things

 
woman complainingDo you know a chronic complainer? Someone who never seems to be happy about anything.
 
They find everything wrong with what others do. If there’s a new idea, they’ll knock it down.
 
They’re also the type of person who will interrupt others to make their point. They’ll do that because they know best.
 
 
 
But at some point, people start to ignore them. And they’re high on the list if cutbacks should ever hit the company, too.
 
Complainers have forgotten how to appreciate the small things in life.
 
They don’t realize that it’s difficult to get a new job and it takes much more time than it used to.
 
They don’t appreciate that they have a job.
 
Sometimes, chronic complaining can be a result of complacency. Since no one is listening to what the person says, it’s just easier to complain.
 
No company or situation is perfect, and sometimes it’s best when problems are out in the open. But there is a time and place for complaints and a correct way to air them.
 
If you have to complain offer up several solutions to the problem. That’s a productive use of complaining energy.
 
Call it problem recognition with applicable solutions.
 
There’s a critical difference between you and a chronic complainer. You appreciate your job or your situation.
Help the complainer
If you want to help a chronic complainer, point out the problem using a subtle approach. Instead of telling the person they complain too much, show them how to be grateful for the little things in life.
 
Remind them that you feel appreciative of the fact you have a job, etc.
 
Relate a story- may be about how your last job search was difficult. It took you months, and it made you realize that jobs are not easy to find.
 
Also, talk about how you appreciate your home life and your family and what it means to you. That’s a subtle approach.
 
The person may start to understand there is much to appreciate in everyday life. You can show that complaining is ineffective and may lead to problems down the road.
 
Aim to get friends and colleagues to relate to the same gratitude for work and family.
 
The chronic complainer may start to see it pays to be appreciative.
 
JohnK 4-2-2019
 
 
stick figure hears complainersOverheard: “Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.”
                               ~Proverb
 
 
 
 
 
disclaimer for complainers
 
 
 
 

Dealing With Mistakes That Other People Make

March 26, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments
Have you ever made a mistake? Most of us (if not all) make them. And we’ll continue to make them.
 
In this post, GenuLines looks at ways to react to other people’s mistakes.
 
banner about mistakes
 

Dealing With Mistakes That Other People Make 

 
eraser for mistakesSometimes people make mistakes that will put you in a tough spot. Let’s say, for instance, you own a company.
 
One of your workers mistakenly misrepresented the company and you’re getting blamed. Your first reaction may be to fire the person.
 
In some cases, that would be the right move.
 
 
 
But did the person have the necessary knowledge to keep from misinforming others? If not, you need to bake that into the situation.
 
If the misstep was deliberate, that’s different.
 
In this case, you’re within your rights to let them go. But be sure the action was malicious.
 
There are no easy answers when people make major mistakes. They may not be able to make it right, either.
 
You’ll be left to deal with the consequences.
 
It’s easy to lash out at the person responsible. Of course, you should give them the opportunity to rectify it if they can.
 
One way to deal with other people’s mistakes is to reflect on your own mistakes. This way, you can empathize with them.
 
Empathy makes you less likely to lash out and make the wrong decisions.
 
Then there are situations where people make the same mistakes again and again. The errors keep showing up even when you give guidance on how not to make them.
 
This is a tough one.
 
The actions are not malicious but there’s no capacity to change. In these situations, you need to decide whether the mistakes are having a serious impact.
 
Repeated errors add up. But remember, forgiving mistakes can breed appreciation. 
 
It can help people grow.
 
And you’ll feel good knowing they’ve used the situation to their advantage.
 
JohnK 3-26-2019
 
 
stick figure talks mistakesOverheard: “We must not say every mistake is a foolish one”
~Cicero (106 BC – 43 BC)
 
 
 
 
 
 
disclaimer for mistakes

Your Routine: Good, Bad, or In Need of a Tuneup?

March 19, 2019 John Uncategorized No comments
We’re talking routine today. If yours is working for you, way to go!
 
If not, GenuLines is here to help you power up your routine 
 
 
call for a routine
 

Your Routine: Good, Bad, or In Need of a Tuneup?

Routines are neither good nor bad. It all depends on the context by which you apply them.
 
symbol for routineIf your routines are making you crazy, or have you in a rut, it may be time for you to break away from them, at least temporarily. Then again, if you don’t have some structure in your life, routines may be what you need.
 
If you’re feeling like you’re in a rut, consider going on a vacation. This can be a great way to reset the ordinary.
 
 
It can also lead to meeting new people or opening up opportunities. How many stories have you heard of people going on vacation and falling in love with the place they visited?
 
But keep in mind that making the new place your home can result in still more routine. Another way to shake things up is to join a club that you wouldn’t otherwise join.
 
For instance, if you never tried a certain type of craft, join a local club where you can learn all about that craft. Or, join a group that plays music together.
 
You may have to learn an instrument or try out with the group as the singer. No matter what the activity, try doing it in a different way.
 
If your life is a bit unstructured, and this isn’t working for you, try to introduce some routine into your days. This could be as simple as creating a to-do list.
 
And you might want to find someone who can hold you accountable to the routine. People form accountability partnerships for this purpose.
 
You can hold your partner accountable for reaching their outcomes.
 
Many people find having a mix of routine and spontaneity works best for them. Doing something spontaneous helps to break up the routine before the people get into a rut.
 
Getting back to those routines after taking a break will restore order in their lives. This isn’t necessarily the way everyone will work best, though it’s worth a try.
 
Make sure you give yourself some time before writing this off.
 
Only you can decide whether you need to incorporate a routine or if you have too much routine in your life.
 
Remember, you’re the only one who can determine if you need to do a mix of routine and spontaneous action.
 
JohnK 3-19-2019
 
 
 
stick figure shows routineOverheard: “It’s a hard thing to leave any deeply routine life, even if you hate it”
                                 ~John Steinbeck
 

 

 

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