It’s possible to be so afraid of failure that you’ll do everything imaginable to avoid it. You avoid taking chances because if things don’t work out you’ll look like a failure.
What’s worse, you constantly see successful people portrayed in the media. You think they must be either geniuses or naturals at what they do.
But if you look a little closer at these people’s lives you see a different picture. Their success often came after failures- sometimes lots of them.
Failure is a great tool for figuring out what not to do the next time around. If something you tried didn’t work it’s no reason to give up on your project.
Use the experience as a road-map to reevaluate what went wrong and to adjust to try and make it work.
Sometimes, you may need some help since you won’t know why what you tried was a failure. In this case, it may be worth it to find a mentor who can look at what you’re doing and help you to get back on track.
This may cost you some money upfront. But good mentors are really worth it if they can produce results for you.
You might be prone to do things all by yourself. But influential people can be a big help.
Start with a search of biographies of famous people and what it took them to get where they are.
You can read about their accomplishments. And you’ll get a good idea of how they handled their setbacks.
Speaking of setbacks, those have a side benefit. They show others your tenacity.
With your continuing trouble-shooting and good attitude you’re primed for success.
Setbacks are a fact of life. Sometimes alternative measures are in order. Like a side job, for instance.
Focus on what works and scrap what doesn’t. You’ll keep heading in the right direction and you’ll learn new and important things, too.
If you use failure as a learning tool you’ll never stop learning. You’ll see improvement in most off of your life’s efforts.
It’s a simple formula. 1) Read about successful people. 2) Pay attention to what they do to succeed. 3) Put the same habits into your life.
You’ve heard a lot about how brain function declines as you age. But science is finding that aging doesn’t have to dull your ability to think for yourself.
In fact, studies are showing that you can get smarter in your later years!
Chi For Yourself is big on the mind/body connection. And the following article offers some gentle reminders to help you keep that connection intact.
Your brain is central to your thoughts and memories. Same goes for your behavior, judgment, reasoning, mood, and so much more.
So it’s critical that you do all that you can to slow down its aging process.
Here’s a look at some ways to help you do that.:
1. Don’t smoke –
There are so many reasons not to smoke. Another one to add to the list is the negative effects it has on your brain.
Smoking increases the development of atherosclerosis. That’s a big word for plaque buildup in your blood vessels, including those in your brain.
This plaque buildup then reduces the amount of oxygen getting to your brain cells.
2. Exercise your brain –
As an adult, you’ve learned how to create routines and methods of remembering things. But, you can get stuck in a rut of using your mind in the same way that requires little effort.
Your brain is made of many different neural pathways. and when you don’t change things a bit, your brain isn’t given the opportunity to exercise itself.
Your brain is amazing in that it can create new neural pathways, and adapt as you stimulate it. Stimulation of the adult brain builds and strengthens these pathways.
Ways to do this include learning new things.
For example, you want to build a website but you don’t know how. As you learn to do this you challenge your brain.
If you’re into music you can learn a new song. If music doesn’t do it for you think about learning a new language.
Most anything that will stretch your mind is a great way to exercise it. You can even take a different route home from work.
This will force you to use your mind as you plan which street to take next.
3. Eat a healthy diet –
Limit saturated fats and trans fats in your diet. Also be sure to cut down and limit your consumption of sugar.
Consuming quality calories can help keep your weight in check.
Studies show that cutting calories can slow your brain’s aging over the years.
Be sure to eat a variety of fruits and vegetables of all colors.
They’re full of antioxidants that fight free radical damage. Free radicals are responsible for cell aging.
Vitamins like B6 and B12, along with folic acid, are real standouts. They go a long way toward stalling age-related brain disease.
4. Exercise your body –
When you exercise, you increase blood flow throughout your body and your brain.
Try exercises that test coordination and concentration. Things like martial arts, aerobics or dance classes.
5. Visit your doctor and optometrist –
High blood pressure can affect brain health. It’s a condition that can lead to mini strokes and cognitive decline.
Both your doctor and optometrist can detect the potential for problems early on.
Overheard: I consider that a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.
~Arthur Conan Doyle
Stress is a normal part of everyday life. Some level of stress is even healthy.
It can help you stay alert and function at your best. But you may have a tough time managing your stress.
Some stress disorders are hereditary. They can be due to imbalances of the chemicals used in mind/body communication.
The mind and body can disagree on what makes up a threat. This can be stressful, too.
Maybe you’ve survived an accident, combat, or something on the same level. You could have a hard time adapting to life outside of high-stress levels.
Whether it’s from personal concern or diagnosed disorder, stress shouldn’t control your life. But if it does there are actions you can take.
These tips can help supplement advice from a medical professional. Note that they’re not intended to be a substitute for professional help.
Talk To A Friend
A friend can help you remember that stress is not unusual or that it only affects you.
A study by the National Alliance on Mental Health looked at severe stress. Things like anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder.
It found that more than 18 percent of American adults were affected. That’s close to one in five people.
Knowing the statistics may ease your mind about talking to a healthcare provider. And it may also help you to feel more comfortable talking to a friend or community member.
Casual talk might yield some advice on how to deal with stress. It can also give you an idea of how serious your condition might be- or not be.
Focus On Life Before Your Stress Problem
Stress can come on in a gradual way due to life changes. Or it can be sudden due to an incident or experience. Either way, you shouldn’t let it stop you from doing things you enjoy.
It’s natural for stress to make new things seem scary. But they can also have this effect on activities you’ve had in the past.
For example, the onset of stress may cause you to stay away from old friends. Or, a car accident may cause you to avoid driving, riding in, or even being around cars.
Remind yourself that outings and activities served you well in the past. Seeing them now in a different light doesn’t change the nature of the activity.
Ease Into Stressful Activities
Doctors often suggest that you ease yourself back into your routine.
Let’s look at the car accident case.
Getting behind the wheel too early could be dangerous for you and for others. And it could reinforce your problem rather than help it.
Instead, try a rideshare company or taxis. You might want to ride with friends and family for a while before getting behind the wheel again.
At first, it may even be helpful to read a book in the car instead of paying attention to traffic.
You’ve heard it a million times. If you’re unsatisfied with your job or any other professional situation it can get on your nerves.
Today the pursuit of happiness is deeply ingrained in us. We’re taught to expect a happy life and we’re encouraged to do whatever it takes to get it.
But, like everything else in life, happiness isn’t so simple.
What is happiness?
First of all, we tend to see happiness as what we can get from others and our environment. In other words, we’re happy when our material and emotional needs are fulfilled.
Take Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. This is a generalized ranking of people’s needs as they apply to happiness.
It starts with basic biological needs like food and shelter. Then it moves up to things like self-development and creativity.
Sounds good, but it’s possible to give attention to some of those needs at the expense of others.
For example, say you have a job that covers your basic needs for food, shelter, and security. It could be getting in the way of your need for creativity, flexibility, and freedom.
On top of that, we tend to think of happiness as static, as something you either have or don’t. But this isn’t the case. Instead, happiness is fluid and fleeting.
So, is the pursuit of happiness an illusion?
No. Instead, to find that happiness, you first want to redefine it.
Do that by making it broader. It’s not only about the nice feeling you get when your needs are met.
Or when you receive something pleasant from someone else. It’s also about what you can give to others, and how that gives you a purpose and a connection to your community.
Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl tells us that giving helps you to reaffirm your very humanity. It makes you forget yourself, and give yourself to the person in front of you.
And you don’t have to change your routine to switch the focus from your own thoughts and needs to someone else’s.
There are a few simple things you can do to start giving more:
Listen
See every conversation as a chance to connect with a person. So, instead of just waiting for your turn to speak, pay attention to every word the other person is saying.
Notice the tone of their voice and their body language. And don’t forget to ask questions.
Build things for others
Can you knit, make origami figures, or draw? Make something and give it away. Never expect anything in return.
Volunteer
Take five minutes to think of what’s important for you. What are your values?
Is there a cause you’d like to champion? Do you have time or skills to give away to that cause?
Be kind
Make it a purpose to be kind to others every single day. Believe it or not, little acts of kindness have a contagious effect.
Compliment someone. Notice if she did something with her hair.
Help him with his groceries. Offer to do some extra work to help out a colleague.
Become a mentor
We all started somewhere. We’ve all been lost, confused, and tired.
But you have answers and insights that can help someone who’s starting their journey.
By giving, you’re creating connections with those around you. Life stops being all about seeking satisfaction.
It takes on a deeper layer of commitment. Life is no longer all about you.
It’s about creating a positive effect on other people’s lives.
Take action that transcends your own search for satisfaction. You’ll find more meaning in life.
You’ll become part of a community. You’ll assert your humanity.
If you didn’t get to hear Chi For Yourself guest Thomas Bien talking about happiness last week you can listen to the show by clicking on this player:
Before we put the happiness topic away for awhile I want to tell you about some of the guests we plan to bring to you in upcoming episodes, and healing is definitely the operative word here..
October 24th at 1pm Pacific- Erica Tucci (Radiant Survivor) talking about healing from a serious illness.
November 13th at Noon Pacific time- Annemiek Douw shares her case histories of healing.
November 21st at 1pm Pacific- Dr. Bernie Siegel returns to CFY to talk about The Art of Healing.
All the interviews are scheduled to be streamed on the Chi For Yourself home page…should there be any changes, you’ll hear about them here in GenuLines.
Now, for that one last mention of healing..and it comes from a great source!
Article:
Looking for Happiness in “All the Wrong Places”
By Marci Shimoff
I was 41 years old, stretched out on a lounge chair by my pool and reflecting on my life. I had achieved all that I thought I needed to be happy.
You see when I was a child, I imagined there were five main things that ensured a happy life: a successful career that helped people, a loving husband, a comfortable home, a great body, and a wonderful circle of friends. After years of study, hard work, and a few “lucky breaks,” I finally had them all. (Okay, so my body didn’t quite look like Halle Berry’s–four out of five isn’t bad!) You think I’d have been on the top of the world.
But surprisingly I wasn’t. I felt an emptiness inside that the outer successes of life couldn’t fill. I was also afraid that if I lost any of those things, I might be miserable. Sadly, I knew I wasn’t alone in feeling this way.
While happiness is the one thing that we all truly want, so few of us really experience a deep and lasting fulfillment that feeds our soul. Our Founding Fathers even guaranteed us the right to pursue happiness, so why aren’t we finding it?
Because we’re looking for happiness, in the words of the old country western song, in “all the wrong places.”
That week I threw myself into the study of happiness. The culmination for me was when I discovered a state I call Happy for No Reason, a neurophysiological state of inner peace and well-being that isn’t dependent on circumstances. I believe this is our essential state.
When you’re Happy for No Reason, you don’t need to manipulate the world around you to try to make yourself happy. You bring happiness to your everyday experiences rather than trying to extract happiness from them.
Most of us spend our time struggling to string together as many happy experiences as we can, like beads in a necklace, to create a happy life. We do our best to find just the right beads that will fulfill us. Being Happy for No Reason, in this analogy, is like having a happy string. No matter what beads we put on our necklace–good and not so good–our inner reality, the string that runs through them all, is happy, and we experience an unshakeable positive state inside.
So, how do we get there?
I found the answer in the lives of the 100 deeply happy people I interviewed as research for my book Happy for No Reason. The only difference between happy and unhappy people is that they have different habits. In fact, I identified 21 core happiness habits that anyone can practice to be happier.
One of the most important habits that happy people share is that they let love lead. Although they have the same fears, pain, and disappointments as the rest of us, they’re able to keep their hearts open and flowing. This is the key to making your life–and every relationship in it–successful and fulfilling.
How do you let love lead? Here are three tips to get you started:
1. Reach Out and Touch Someone. Schedule time every day to call or visit someone you love or care about. It doesn’t have to be a long call or an elaborate outing. Remember to focus on expressing your love or care for them, rather than looking for them to fill you up.
Taking the time to connect with someone from the level of your heart has been shown to make the actual rhythms of your heartbeat coherent, which is correlated with increased calmness, strengthened immune system functioning, normalized blood pressure, and improved general well-being. For some people, a much-loved pet can be a great heart connection. What’s important is focusing on the bond you feel radiating from within you that links you to the special beings in your life.
2. Spread Lovingkindness. One way to power up your heart’s flow is by sending loving kindness to your friends and family, as well as strangers you pass on the street. Next time you’re waiting for the elevator at work, stuck in a line at the store, or caught up in traffic, send a silent wish to the people you see for their happiness, well-being, and health. Simply wishing others well switches on the “pump” in your own heart that generates love and creates a strong current of happiness.
3. Hang with the Happy. We catch the emotions of those around us just like we catch their colds–it’s called emotional contagion. So it’s important to make wise choices about the company you keep. Create appropriate boundaries with emotional bullies and “happiness vampires” who suck the life out of you. Develop your happiness “dream team”–a mastermind or support group you meet with regularly to keep you steady on the path of raising your happiness.
“Happily ever after” isn’t just for fairytales or for only the lucky few. Imagine experiencing inner peace and well-being as the backdrop for everything else in your life. When you’re Happy for No Reason, it’s not that your life and your relationships always look perfect–it’s that however they look, you’ll still be happy!
Author’s Bio:
By Marci Shimoff. Based on the New York Times bestseller Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out, which offers a revolutionary approach to experiencing deep and lasting happiness. The woman’s face of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and a featured teacher in The Secret, Marci is an authority on success, happiness, and the law of attraction. To order Happy for No Reason, newly released in paperback, and receive free bonus gifts, go to http://www.happyfornoreason.com/mybook
Overheard
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
It’s possible to be so afraid of failure that you’ll do everything imaginable to avoid it. You avoid taking chances because if things don’t work out you’ll look like a failure.
Overheard: “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
Your brain is central to your thoughts and memories. Same goes for your behavior, judgment, reasoning, mood, and so much more.
What is happiness?
Overheard: “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” ~Abraham Lincoln
RSS - Posts