Tag Archive for anger and frustration

Why Regret Is a Useless Emotion And What To Do Instead 

December 4, 2023 John Uncategorized No comments

banner for regret

Regret is a load of baggage that you lug through life. And it doesn’t get any lighter as the years go by.

Let’s lighten things up a bit with this GenuLines look at some alternatives.

Why Regret Is a Useless Emotion And What To Do Instead 

So you’re feeling sad, sorry or disappointed over something that you did or did not do. This is the textbook definition of regret.

And regret can cause terrible feelings of guilt, sadness, and even depression.

man feels regret

In its extreme, anxiety can soon turn into anger or resentment. You can be so unhappy with your lot in life that you begin to take that anger out on others.

Although regret is a common emotion, it’s pointless.  You can’t go back in time and change past decisions.

When you live in your regret, you’re wishing for a new outcome from an old script. This a functioning level of insanity, but insanity nonetheless.

And it can cause emotional and sometimes physical distress.

Regret can also play a major role in impacting happiness. If you feel regret you may be hard on yourself; almost to the point of severe self-pity.

A big problem here is that you cloud your ability to trust in yourself.

You’ll continue to defer to the past as opposed to looking toward the future. Basking in regret will leave you blind to the good in front of you.

Although it seems easy to wallow in regret, it’s self-harming.

How to Combat Regret 

Acceptance is the key to overcoming your regret. Trying to change the past is impossible and only results in frustration.

So it’s important to make peace with your previous decisions and move forward. Take responsibility for your actions and learn how to make better choices in the future.

Making the best of your bad choices shows maturity and positive thinking. Once you make a decision it’s done.

Instead of worrying about the past, why not find something positive in your present. This involves asking yourself some questions:

 What can I do to make this situation better?

 How can I adjust my attitude to see the positive?

 What can I currently change?

These questions can help you analyze your current situation and look for the best. This will turn your negative disposition toward the positive.

Being able to overcome feelings of regret can make you a stronger person. You’re embracing positivity as opposed to living in the past.

One way to turn your regrets into an opportunity is to think about any good that’s resulted. Have you grown as a person?

Have you learned a valuable lesson?

These questions will help you to further see the good in your past. Yes, regret can be frustrating and painful.

But you have the power to keep it from controlling you.

JohnK 12-4-2023

chiforyourself.com

Stick figure hears about regretOverheard: “Never regret anything you have done with a sincere affection; nothing is lost that is born of the heart”

 Basil Rathbone

Article image by @felipepelaquim on Unsplash

disclaimer for regret

How to Fight For What Is Yours

September 5, 2023 John Uncategorized No comments

banner forfight

An old saying tells us to pick our fights carefully. We’re not suggesting violence. But there are times when you can be more combative and GenuLines shows you how to do that.

How to Fight for What Is Yours

Everyone has needs which at some point will collide with others. In such cases, you may need to fight for what is yours.

There are ways to handle the situation and not get too overheated or out of control.

chess pieces fight

 

Always be respectful of others’ feelings. There is nothing wrong with fighting for what you deserve.

But keep in mind that others are going to try to fight for themselves.

That could cause you to become angry with them.  And you might  say something disrespectful in the heat of the moment.

 

Stay Calm
Try to remain calm and remember that the other people are trying to get the same as you.

Along those lines, always present your case based on the facts. Don’t introduce false information to try and sway the decision makers to your side.

When you have the facts on your side, you can reference them and where you found them.

Be ready for any counter-arguments from others fighting for what you want. Preparation will help you know what to say when they present those arguments.

And you’ll be able to prepare an answer ahead of time.

Sticks And Stones?
Never revert to name calling and don’t make the situation personal. In most cases, what you’re fighting for has little to do with peoples’ personalities.

So it has no place in the discussion.

For instance, you may be competing with someone for a promotion at work.  If you start attacking them on a personal level, it’ll likely backfire on you and you’ll look bad.

Make Room
Let other people speak. If you interrupt people before they speak their minds, you may not get the full story.

You may jump to incorrect conclusions. By allowing others to finish what they have to say, you can present a more appropriate argument.

Expect the same when you speak.  And ask to speak without interruption.

Above all, try to remain calm throughout the process. You’ll exude confidence.

That can strengthen your position when others are getting hotheaded. You’ll be the bigger person.

And that could give you the advantage.

JohnK 9-4-2023
chiforyourself.com

 

stick man hears about fightsOverheard:  “He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight”

~ Sun Tzu
 

 

disclaimer for fights

 

 

Criticism Is Not Always Meant To Be Negative

July 25, 2022 John Uncategorized No comments

Nothing stings quite like criticism. And that sting can last a long time. Let GenuLines provide some relief, and a way to turn the situation around. 

Criticism Is Not Always Meant To Be Negative

Do you struggle with criticism? Some of it comes from a negative place, but most of the time it’s meant with good intentions.

man giving criticism
 
Unfortunately, even if the person criticizing you is coming from a good place, it can still hurt.
 
Differentiating Between Negative and Positive
There are a few ways to determine whether criticism is coming from a positive or negative place. Is your usual reaction to it negative?
 
If so, the first step is to tame that initial negative reaction.
 
Try to view the criticism with an open mind. Could there be any truth in what the person is saying?
 
Also pay attention to their delivery method. Is there a reason for their feedback, or does it appear that they are nit-picking only to be difficult?
 
Criticism can come from a negative place, but often it’s given to help us improve. Knowing the difference between helpful and negative is important.
 
The Role of Self-Esteem
Your self-esteem will go a long way toward determining your reaction. The more confident you are, the less likely criticism is to affect you.
 
If you have a healthy dose of self-esteem you’ll be able to learn from any feedback you get. You won’t personalize it.
 
Think about your own self-esteem. Could it use some improvement?
 
If so, focus on ways to build it up and you’ll notice this has a direct impact on your ability to handle criticism. You’ll find a lot of awesome self-esteem building tips online.
 
Top Tips to Deal with People Who Criticize Instead of Critique
We’ve all heard criticism when what we needed was an honest critique. So staying calm is important.
 
You may find that your first reaction to criticism is anger. But if you express anger, it isn’t going to help the situation.
 
In fact, it could work in your critic’s favor! Remaining calm helps you know where the criticism is coming from.
 
You can deal with it much better.
 
If the problems are coming from your boss, try and get to the bottom of where the feedback is coming from. Need to know more?
 
Ask to speak to somebody higher up in the company. Sometimes we need an outsider’s view to help us know what’s happening.
 
To Sum Up
Criticism is never nice to deal with. But, it isn’t always meant to be negative.
 
Sometimes it will help you to grow and become a better person. So, don’t be quick to dismiss it when it comes your way.
 
Think about it with an open mind and decide whether there is something you can learn.
 
JohnK 7-25-2022
 
Stick figure hears about criticismOverheard: “Criticism is an indirect form of self-boasting”
                                  ~Emmet Fox
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
disclaimer for criticism
 
 

Anger Management 101

September 13, 2021 John Uncategorized No comments

Your anger can be a terrible master. It will create a lot of problems in your life if not reigned in. 

So with that in mind, GenuLines looks at ways to keep the angry tendencies at bay.

Anger Management 101

Anger is a powerful emotion. Learning how to manage it can be difficult.
 
Yet, not impossible.
 
The problem isn’t that you get angry; the problem is in the way you express your anger. While anger is a normal and natural emotion, it can be overwhelming if not dealt with in the right way.
 
fist of anger
 
When you allow your anger to take over, it has a negative effect on your life. This is a sign that it’s time to make important changes to how you handle your emotions.
 
Allowing anger to take over can be very unhealthy. You can hurt yourself or someone you care about.
 
There are certain steps you have to go through to be able to cope with your anger in a healthy and productive way. We rounded up some of these tried-and-true techniques to help you cope with your anger.
 
You may have heard of some of them, but don’t knock any of them until you’ve tried each one several times.
 
Remember, the more you practice, the better you’ll get at controlling your anger. So, the next time you’re in a situation that gets your blood boiling, try these tips.
 

Deep Breathing

This helps you take the time to think about the situation. It gives you time to calm down rather than immediately lashing out.
 
Taking a few deep breaths also boosts blood flow to your brain. The more oxygen going to your brain, the more rational your thoughts and behavior will be.
 
Want to take it a step further? Do a slow count.
 
You can count up to 10 as you breathe in and out. Or you can count backward from 100.
 
Take the time to think about what number comes next. This effort will shift your focus and distract you from what’s making you angry.
 
When you disconnect yourself from the event that’s making you flustered, you’re less likely to act out. Taking some time to moderate your anger is a healthy and smart way to manage your anger.

Acknowledge Your Emotions

Start by accepting your anger. Tell yourself that it’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to let it out on others in a destructive way.
 
Be true to yourself. If you feel there are any negative issues from your past holding you back, find a way to deal with them.
 
There are several things you can do to move past painful memories, like
 
 
 
  • Write your thoughts and feelings in a journal
 
  • Find local support groups
 
  • Counseling or therapy
 
  • Practice yoga and meditation

Look Inward

Reflecting inward can help you see things from a different vantage point. Seeing things from a different viewpoint gives you clarity.
 
As a result, you can deal with the situation in a calm, relaxed manner.
 
Also, take a moment to ask yourself if the person who angered you actually meant to harm you. Or was it unintentional?
 
Looking at the situation from a 3rd person viewpoint is a terrific coping mechanism. You’ll be able to reach an amicable understanding and be respectful of yourself and others.
 

Learn Your Flashpoints

We all have certain people or places that make us angry. Thinking about them makes your temper soar.
 
To avoid seething with anger over someone or something learn your flashpoints. Start by figuring out what makes you angry.
 
Once you’ve identified your triggers, you’ll be better equipped at handling them. For example, let’s say you always take a certain route to work, but it’s always congested and that makes you angry.
 
Why not look for a different route and spare yourself the aggravation of wasting time in traffic?

Do Something You Love

Anger is a very intense emotion. To balance it out, you need to take up a hobby or activity you enjoy.
 
Creative activities like drawing, painting, or playing a musical instrument. These can benefit your mental health.
 
In fact, the more time you spend on creative pastimes, the less angry and stressed you’ll feel.
 
Other hobbies include physical activities like hiking, kickboxing, and cycling. Even taking a 10-minute stroll in the park can uplift your mental wellbeing.
 
These activities can help release pent-up negative energy in a healthy and safe way. Not only that, but exercise also stimulates your brain to release more feel-good hormones.
 
So, you don’t only get better at controlling your anger, you also feel happier and more resilient.
 
JohnK 9-13-2021
 
stick figure hears about angerOverheard: “Anger makes us feel so isolated”
                         ~Fred Rogers
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
disclaimer for anger
 
 

Depression And The Use of Natural Remedies

May 13, 2020 John Uncategorized No comments

Is it depression? I mean, I’m sad, feeling out of sorts, a bit blue, kind of detached.

When these are persistent rather than passing moods there’s a problem. GenuLines looks at some ways to deal with those feelings before they reach the problem stage.

microphone speaking against depression

 

 

 

 

Depression And The Use of Natural Remedies

Clinical depression. It can affect your physical health.
 
And your ability to perform regular daily activities.
 
It can lead to suicidal thoughts, and if untreated to self-destructive tendencies.
 
 
Depression help list
 
There are lots of possible lead-ups to depression. It can be a nutritional deficiency. Or, with seasonal pattern depression, it’s lack of sunlight.
 
A doctor or therapist may suggest things like lifestyle changes or dietary adjustments.
 
Extreme cases may call for prescription medications.
 
Of course, you want to follow doctors’ orders. But you can be proactive in your treatment. That means using various natural remedies on a day-to-day basis.

Your Options In Natural Remedies For Depression

• Increase physical activity. Exercise relieves symptoms of depression. And it eases stress, which can contribute to depression.
 
Exercise releases the body’s endorphins. These diminish the perception of pain and act as a sedative.
 
Exercise is a natural mood elevator.
 
• Eat well. Poor nutrition can trigger depressive symptoms in some people.
 
Lab testing can check for hormonal imbalances and nutritional deficiencies. Especially in one or more of the B-Vitamins, Calcium, Magnesium, and Vitamin D.
 
Thyroid imbalance is important. The thyroid releases hormones, which regulate the whole metabolism.

Consider:

• Asking your doctor about herbal supplements. An herb commonly recommended for the treatment of depression is St. John’s Wort.
 
It seems to be most effective when used to treat mild to moderate cases. Saffron also shows promise as a treatment.
 
But saffron can cause notable side effects in high doses.
 
Herbal supplements are best used under the supervision of a health care practitioner.
 
They can interact with other medications. And they may have negative side effects for some people.
 
To ward off symptoms of depression 
• Establish healthy sleep patterns. The quantity and quality of your sleep impacts your health and mental state.
 
Get enough sleep and complete a full sleep cycle. (sleep without interruption)
 
• Stay engaged in daily activities and set goals. Depression has physical components, though it’s considered a mental illness.
 
Engage your mind. Stick to a daily routine of activities and set small goals.
 
This counters the negative self-talk and helps keep you from “getting down on yourself.”
 
• Consider mind-body connection practices. Yoga, Tai Chi, Meditation, Biofeedback, Aromatherapy, Acupuncture, and other alternative therapies.
 
They can relieve depression symptoms. They also help with fatigue, anxiety and scattered thinking.

Conclusion

Many people live with mild to severe depression without seeking medical help. People in depressive states no longer need to suffer with the illness.
 
There are many treatment options. Depression can be managed and in some cases alleviated.
 
Early diagnosis and treatment can have a positive impact on your physical health. The same goes for your relationships.
 

To Learn More: Call the NDMDA (National Depressive Manic-Depressive Association) Depression Hotline – Support Group (800) 826-3632 for help.

JohnK 5-13-2020
 
stick figure man hears about depressionOverheard: “If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
                                                         ~Lao Tzu
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
disclaimer for depression

Does Your Life Hold Meaning?

October 3, 2016 John Uncategorized No comments

picture of john kobikWe’re moving right along in the CHI FOR YOURSELF series on finding your “why.” Time to take notice of feelings that are surfacing. Maybe you’re a little down and thinking that your life doesn’t have much meaning. If so, this installment is intended to give you the courage to keep move through the feelings.

 

Does Your Life Hold Meaning?                                                          

 

Can you honestly say that your life holds meaning for you? If you are not sure, then do you know how to identify your true calling in life? Once you do the next step is to have the strength to follow it.

Many people sit and feel quite depressed about not knowing what they should be doing with their life. This happens early in life. Do you remember being in high school and having to choose a career for the rest of your life? Talk about feeling pressured at a young age.

Everyone has some type of true calling or purpose in life, and yes life does have a meaning. Sometimes your true calling is staring you in the face, you just don’t recognize it yet.

Your true calling can be identified in various ways. Many people believe that God will show them the way to their true calling. Others experience dreams that open up their eyes to a new opportunity.

You have no doubt heard stories about people experiencing death and then coming back to life. When they recover they find they have a new outlook on life altogether.

Now, you don’t have to wait for something terrible to happen to you! Instead, you can start discovering your true calling and the meaning of life yourself.

question mark

Sit down and think about what it is that you would love to do with your life. Think about what you would do if money was no objection and you didn’t have to worry about anyone but yourself.

Write down all the things that come to mind. If you have several put them in order of priority. Which is the one item that you truly feel passionate about? Then ask yourself– if you were to do this would you feel as though your life had meaning?

When you can truly answer these questions openly and honestly you will be well on your way to uncovering what the meaning of life has for you. Remember we are all different and no two people will see something in the same way.
Your next step is to be courageous and follow your passion. You may be surprised at the opportunities that open up for you. There is no reason for anyone to be sitting and feeling unfulfilled, or thinking that their life has no purpose. It does, you just have to find yours.

Listen to this article by clicking on the following player:

 

 

JohnK 10-3-2016

chiforyourself.com home

 

stick figure of manOverheard: “Everyone now knows how to find the meaning of life within himself.”
~ Kurt Vonnegut, The Sirens of Titan

 

Can Anger Identify Your Passion?

September 26, 2016 John Uncategorized No comments

picture of john kobikLIfe seems to provide an endless supply of things that make us angry, bugged, hassled, or ticked-off! Yet if we examine those feelings they can take us a long way toward finding our fulfillment. This next installment in the CHI FOR YOURSELF series on finding your “why” is offered to you as another tool for self-discovery.

 

Can  Anger  Identify  Your  Passion?                                                          

 

If you have read any type of self-development or improvement information, you know you are told to find those things that make you feel happy. Everyone should have a passion in life, as this helps you add meaning to your life. But just how do you find it?

One way to identify your passion is to look at those things that make you angry. You know, those times when you fly off the handle without even thinking about it. This could be when you see an animal being mistreated or hear about a child being abused.

Still not sure what your passion is? Then take a look around you and make note of all the things that make you upset. Anything that stirs some type of emotion in you; tears, anger, or frustration.

It can be helpful to write these things down, especially if you have more than one thing that bothers you. Once you have your list select the main one that troubles you the most. This would be the one thing that you would happily fix if you could.

The more personal this becomes the more passionate you will be. If you have seen one of your pets abused first hand, this would resonate with you on a much deeper level.
angry man

When you get angry your feelings can often overwhelm you. You have no real control over them and they flare up unexpectedly. What this signifies is that you are dealing with something you are passionate about. Your goal is to now take this energy and turn it into a passion instead of feeling angry.

When identifying your passion you need to pick that one thing that you can identify with. You don’t want to bend to the rules of society and be passionate about something just to be part of a group.

Finding your passion often entails getting out of your comfort zone. It is way too easy to like something just because a friend does. It is much harder to stick up for yourself and stay passionate to your true feelings.

By being true to your own feelings, you are fulfilling your life. You are doing something meaningful and making a difference. Not everyone is going to approve of what your passion is. You need to have the confidence to stay on track, if and when friends try to tell you otherwise. This way you will know you are being true to yourself and to your passion.

You can listen to this article by clicking on the player:

 

Be well!

John in cursive

 

 

 

JohnK9-26-2016

chiforyourself.com home

 

Image for overheard

Overheard:

“The greatest remedy for anger is delay.”
~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

 

 

We “Do the Tao Now”: This Week on CHI FOR YOURSELF

June 6, 2016 John Uncategorized No comments

picture of john kobikIt’s more than 2-thousand years old, but our next CHI FOR YOURSELF guest says it’s just what we need to make positive change in our troubled world.

The Tao Te Ching is known for its enigmatic wisdom and yet William Martin says Taoism’s simplicity can be subversive and its flexibility a potent force. Martin is the author of  The Activist’s Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for a Modern Revolution.

William Martin is our scheduled guest on this week’s CHI FOR YOURSELF. Be on the call with us Thursday, June 9th at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific time for a different approach to modern times. You’ll find us at chiforyourself.com.

picture of William Martin

William Martin

 

JohnK 6-6-2016

chiforyourself.com home

 

 

Clipart image of overheardOverheard:

“There is but one cause of human failure. And that is man’s lack of faith in his true self.”

~ William James