Healthy, happy relationships are possible even when both parties don’t see eye to eye. Our guest today on Chi For Yourself is James L. Creighton, author of Loving Through Your Differences: Building Strong Relationships From Separate Realities.
The interview starts at 4 pm Eastern, 1 pm Pacific time at ChiForYourself.com
JohnK 2-7-2019
It’s natural to want everything to be perfect. The trouble is there’s no time for it.
Overheard: “If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content”
You’ll see it when you believe it. Believe and achieve. I believe in you.
We all love a snappy belief slogan. But when it comes to self-belief things can get a bit trickier.
GenuLines reminds you that believing in yourself is the ultimate belief.
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You hear about how you have to believe in yourself. Ever wonder exactly why?
The simple answer is that practically no one else will. Your spouse and your family will believe in you to a certain extent.
But, when times get tough, family support tends to wane. It’s not that they don’t love and care about you.
They just stopped believing in you.
While this doesn’t always happen, it happens often enough to cause conflict.
For example, your spouse or parents might at first give you support on a new venture. But the venture doesn’t work out as they believe it should.
So they start to question whether you should continue with it. If your belief starts to weaken, you may take on their way of thinking.
The reason beliefs start to weaken is due to a fear of the unknown. When you start a new venture, everyone is excited for you and will tell you to give it your best shot.
But when the prospects of the business become murkier, that excitement turns to fear.
The problem is the path towards success for these ventures is not a straight line up. Having some bumps in the road is normal.
In fact, this is what defines the success of the enterprise, and the people who are taking risks. It should be welcomed and not feared.
The fear of the unknown may start to creep into your psyche. It’s easier to listen to your family and friends tell you to dissolve your venture because it’s failing.
They will continue down this negative path until you decide to stop. If you do choose to give up on your business, they will tell you that it wasn’t meant to be.
They’ll remind you that starting a business is difficult. That’s precisely the moment that you shouldn’t stop.
You don’t get ahead by quitting. If you believe in yourself, you would have had the conviction to see it through.
You would have the appropriate guidance to give you strength to surge ahead. You could have done it all while telling your family and friends to have some faith.
A firm belief in yourself would give you the courage to stand up to them.
Whatever venture you decide to pursue, know that only by continuing will you make it work.
Think of Thomas Edison and the lightbulb. While he didn’t invent the lightbulb (contrary to popular belief), he made ones that lasted longer.
Imagine if he decided to quit after he ran into a few stumbling blocks early on.
JohnK 1-29-2019
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Photo by Samuel Zeller on Unsplash
It’s such a simple concept to accept and appreciate who you are. When you do that, you’ll find that others will appreciate you as well.
It doesn’t cost anything, and it’s the right thing to do. GenuLines reminds you that you’re unique, and that’s something to celebrate!
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Appreciate And Be Grateful
When you appreciate who you are, you can be grateful for other aspects of your life. These are the aspects that others take for granted, i.e., their health, their family, and their friends.
When you’re grateful, you will attract the right people and things. By contrast, a lack of gratitude can repel others.
Life is short. During the limited time you have, why not appreciate what you have?
Let’s say you have a great family and great friends. Your job is going well.
But you feel you could be making more money.
Wealth is something you can increase if you want or need it. Do your best not to stress over finances.
Doing that could make you lose sight of life’s most important things.
Appreciate the less than perfect
Accept your imperfections. Those “flaws” help you learn and define who you are.
Sure, work on the ones that hurt you or other people. But a wholesale change is probably not necessary.
Change for change sake could take you away from your genuine self. That pretense won’t last long.
Handle the “buzzkill”
Dealing with the world’s negative energy is something you do every day. The effect can be a loss of self-acceptance.
People around you may put you down. Or they won’t accept you.
This can impact your emotional well-being. But you can counter the effects through affirmations.
Affirm who you are and why you appreciate yourself. If someone does a negative beat down on you cancel the negativity with affirmations.
You can interrupt negative thinking if your thoughts slip back in that direction. Think of all you’re grateful for, especially the small but important things.
You shall overcome
The process can be challenging. But you can prevail by using gratitude as a tool.
Do your best to be with people who are grateful for what they have. This will remind you that you’re on the right path.
Grateful people are upbeat. And, well, they just might be more fun to be around!
JohnK 1-22-2019
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Your daily routine probably doesn’t vary much. But today GenuLines looks at routine in a different way. Read on and you might do the same!
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You hear people refer to routine as being dull or boring. It implies that life is the same from one day to the next.
But, routines are a great way to get your work done. They’re also a great means for teams to work together toward a common goal.
When everyone has an idea of what needs to get done, projects tend to run smoother. Each member knows what they need to do.
We also have routines in our society. In some ways, laws are routines.
You know that you aren’t supposed to run a red light and that can be thought of as a routine. When you come to a red light, you stop as best as you can.
There may be instances when you unsuccessfully try to beat one here or there. But, most people will stop for red lights.
To no one’s surprise this helps to reduce accidents.
It Starts at Home
You set up routines for your kids in the form of chores. You know that certain tasks need to get done each week.
Many parents tie kids’ allowances to these chores. When the kids finish their chores, they receive their allowances.
It teaches the kids a work ethic. They need to perform tasks, and when they complete those tasks, they receive money for them.
When you pay bills, you tend to have a routine for this. Some people like to get everything sorted on one day and pay all the bills on that day.
Others will pay them whenever they receive them. Others, still, will set up automatic payments through their bank or brokerage.
There isn’t a right answer for how to do this. Whatever works for you is the right answer.
But, the method you choose will be routine.
When There Is No Routine
Contrast this with people who don’t have routines to manage their lives. They tend to handle tasks when the mood strikes them.
These people are usually late with their bills and have messy environments. Some of these people will say that this way of life works for them.
Others call it chaos. It’s something you can easily avoid setting up routines for the tasks you need to complete.
Of course, people are not robots. They do break up their routines on occasion.
You may use weekends to do activities that you don’t get to do during the work week. Also, many families use vacations to help break up their routines.
JohnK 1-8-2019
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If you’re having a hard time trusting yourself, it may be a sign that you lack confidence. Trust in this case is near impossible without confidence.
Lacking Confidence
Feel secure in your abilities and be strong in your convictions. But, know when you’re wrong, too.
This may seem scary to you.
But it’s not as difficult as you think. No one is born with confidence. It’s something people learn and develop during their lives.
It’s the same for you. Take steps to develop your confidence and trusting yourself will become easy.
Fear Sabotages Confidence
When you give in to your fears, you’ll diminish the chances of building up your confidence. This can get out of hand if you don’t deal with it right away.
You need to face your fears head-on. That doesn’t mean you should throw caution to the wind and be reckless.
You can take chances but only if they won’t put your life or others’ lives in danger. You wouldn’t jump out of a plane without a parachute.
Don’t make frivolous decisions, either. Confidence is about knowing the difference.
Start out with small tasks that you have been afraid to try in the past. Most outcomes will turn out better than you imagine.
If you try to project what will happen, and it is always a negative outcome, you will never make any decisions. Take on those small tasks without thinking too much about what’s going to happen.
That will build up your confidence as you’ve never seen before.
Don’t Be Afraid To Ask Questions
You should ask questions when you aren’t sure about the situations you face. Confidence isn’t about having all the answers.
It’s about knowing where to find them and who to rely on with the knowledge that you need. It’s also about pulling the trigger when you’ve gathered enough information.
Confidence is about taking responsibility for your decisions and your actions. If you believe in what you’re doing, you can convey that belief to the people affected by your decisions.
If you start blaming others when your situation doesn’t go as planned you’ll come across as weak.
Once this happens, others will lose faith in you. Your confidence will erode, and self-doubt will take over.
When you make your decisions, you own them, even if they don’t work out.
Increase your confidence and you’ll increase self-trust.
Then, you can soar higher than you ever imagined.
JohnK 1-3-2019
Overheard: “Bigger snacks mean bigger slacks.”
Overheard: “The errors of great men are venerable because they are more fruitful than the truths of little men.”
Overheard: “Action expresses priorities.” 
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