“Do what makes you happy.”
You’ve heard it a million times. If you’re unsatisfied with your job or any other professional situation it can get on your nerves.
Today the pursuit of happiness is deeply ingrained in us. We’re taught to expect a happy life and we’re encouraged to do whatever it takes to get it.
But, like everything else in life, happiness isn’t so simple.
What is happiness?First of all, we tend to see happiness as what we can get from others and our environment. In other words, we’re happy when our material and emotional needs are fulfilled.
Take Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. This is a generalized ranking of people’s needs as they apply to happiness.
It starts with basic biological needs like food and shelter. Then it moves up to things like self-development and creativity.
Sounds good, but it’s possible to give attention to some of those needs at the expense of others.
For example, say you have a job that covers your basic needs for food, shelter, and security. It could be getting in the way of your need for creativity, flexibility, and freedom.
On top of that, we tend to think of happiness as static, as something you either have or don’t. But this isn’t the case. Instead, happiness is fluid and fleeting.
So, is the pursuit of happiness an illusion?
No. Instead, to find that happiness, you first want to redefine it.
Do that by making it broader. It’s not only about the nice feeling you get when your needs are met.
Or when you receive something pleasant from someone else. It’s also about what you can give to others, and how that gives you a purpose and a connection to your community.
Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl tells us that giving helps you to reaffirm your very humanity. It makes you forget yourself, and give yourself to the person in front of you.
And you don’t have to change your routine to switch the focus from your own thoughts and needs to someone else’s.
There are a few simple things you can do to start giving more:
Listen
See every conversation as a chance to connect with a person. So, instead of just waiting for your turn to speak, pay attention to every word the other person is saying.
Notice the tone of their voice and their body language. And don’t forget to ask questions.
Build things for others
Can you knit, make origami figures, or draw? Make something and give it away. Never expect anything in return.
Volunteer
Take five minutes to think of what’s important for you. What are your values?
Is there a cause you’d like to champion? Do you have time or skills to give away to that cause?
Be kind
Make it a purpose to be kind to others every single day. Believe it or not, little acts of kindness have a contagious effect.
Compliment someone. Notice if she did something with her hair.
Help him with his groceries. Offer to do some extra work to help out a colleague.
Become a mentor
We all started somewhere. We’ve all been lost, confused, and tired.
But you have answers and insights that can help someone who’s starting their journey.
By giving, you’re creating connections with those around you. Life stops being all about seeking satisfaction.
It takes on a deeper layer of commitment. Life is no longer all about you.
It’s about creating a positive effect on other people’s lives.
Take action that transcends your own search for satisfaction. You’ll find more meaning in life.
You’ll become part of a community. You’ll assert your humanity.
And, you’ll be happier and more fulfilled.
JohnK 7-26-2018
Overheard: “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” ~Abraham Lincoln
RSS - Posts
Have your say!