Few things are as frustrating to you and those around you as your inability to make decisions and stick to them. This inability can be the result of a lack of self-confidence.
There can be many reasons why you lack the confidence to make decisions in your life. For example, you may have grown up in an environment where your parents made all the decisions for you. And they insisted you must not question them.
You may feel very anxious at the thought of having to make a decision.
Here are a few indicators that you are someone who lacks confidence in making decisions:
You would rather have someone else make the decision for you –
This happens when you don’t trust that you’ll make the right decision. It’s an indicator that you don’t have confidence in your ability.
You never make a decision –
Other people may be relying on you for a decision, but you let weeks or months pass without ever making a decision.
Your decision avoidance can be a signal that confidence in your abilities is poor.
When you do make a decision, you second-guess yourself –
Another demonstration that you lack confidence in your abilities.
You can work at and improve on this tendency not to trust yourself when you make decisions.
What follows are ideas for improving your confidence to make good decisions.
Make an “unofficial” decision –
In other words, this is a decision that is not yet set in stone. Make a decision, and live with that decision for a day.
For example, you’ve decided to upgrade to a bigger house, and you have the money saved. You find a house that you like a lot and that fits all the criteria you want in a bigger house. It has a big yard, a deck, and an attached garage.
But if you have trouble making decisions you may find yourself trying to talk yourself out of it. You begin to worry about how you’ll afford it, higher heating and cooling costs, and so forth.
This is where it can help to make an “unofficial’ decision. You have to decide that you will or will not move. Pick one, and live with that decision for a day. Make your mind believe that the decision is a real one that you have made. Then see how your decision makes you feel.
This can be a good way to test out decisions before making them official. Knowing that you can still change your mind if it does not feel right, can be comforting.
Recognize decisions that are reversible –
For example, you’re having a tough time determining what color to paint your house. Start by getting a collection of color swatches. Then make a decision, rather than continuing to fret over choosing the perfect color.
If you start painting and don’t like the color, you can always choose another color.
Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen –
Not all decisions are life altering. Begin with making small decisions such as what movie to see. You can grow your confidence and make bigger decisions as time goes on.
Write down pros and cons of each decision you are considering –
Sometimes it helps to see your ideas for and against a decision written down on paper. When you see the options on paper they crystallize. This it can make it easier to come to a decision.
JohnK 8-28-2017
Overheard: “It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires great strength to decide on what to do.” ~Elbert Hubbard
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